soft lips wide hips small **** big heart short hair long love and patience

explore your nostalgia

only stretching and cooing once 11 am has rolled through like the rolling in bed we did the night before when the moonlight was stabbing through the blinds and reflected on my pear-white skin

your eyelashes make me smile when i think about them

walking alone in the middle of the day when i get restless and i need to just go

escape the lonely, overly warm air in the four walls i inhabit

why do I sweat and shake so much?
As I bite into apple skin

a familiar voice glossed with golden tone
completed with dollar store sparkles

we spent weeks building wooden block pieces in the image of our love

or i thought

i was that L-word that I can barely articulate anymore without laughing because it's all just a beautiful, stupid joke

we spin webs

naked in your resting place as I curl around like an ******* tentacle

you kiss me there
my legs embrace your shoulders
and that's when our eyes meet
a night of squirming finally consummated
by one morning of quick glance of brown and blue

"oh god" rolls off your trained vocal chords as you roll like a wave on the shore.'

we've lost ourselves in these moments of pure passion.
I want all of you all the time
Sweating,
Dizzy.
Completely disoriented.

Can we just spin together until we fall?

Summer:
He kissed me
Flashes of my past favorite things charmed those blue eyes
God
I still remember everything about us
Fresh fish on the grill
The first time you held my hand
We curled around each other's bodies like tentacles
We wanted every inch
Sweat
Harmonium on inside humor
You found me and I followed
The ring bells
Terms of endearment changed so drastically
He held her so gently that I melted like butter
Like what you would cook and we sweated until we kissed
An entire day downstairs and an entire night upstairs
No wonder I got so dizzy.
Finding ourselves becoming one.
Sharing clothes and teeth marks and hearts.
We were happy.
Once.

Fall:
The leaves changed.
So did we.
I over stayed my welcome.
Being swept out like the garbage below you.
Swish.
Swish.
Swish.
The inches between us in your bed
Complete with "Nightmare Before Christmas" print
Grew larger and larger
The unfamiliar faces began becoming your new candy
Apparently I wasn't dark, or sweet enough for anymore.

Winter:
On my knees
I never knew how terrible tears tasted
Begging you please
Slap Slap
I fell down a flight of stairs
You came with me, but only to use it for malice
Why?
How?
I never should've cared.
True love doesn't exist here.
Only long walks through the jungle
Giraffes walking around.
Long limbs. Long eyelashes. Long tongues.
That's the only freedom that exists.

Spring:
Where did these feet come from?
Suddenly I can walk by myself again.
Shaky.
My hands and back tremble from the weight of the world.
Atlas has not helped.
Surrounded by the ghosts of my past, and present.

Keep this for the motto girls:
"No one can have me like I got me."

fleeing what I thought I was born to do
in a place I thought I was born to be in

credit card declined
but $1500 cash in my wallet

He gives me spending money as we ride down a chrome lift
Squares.
Wide eyes.
Genuine smiles.
Personal anecdotes.
We take care of each other.

Glowing charisma draws me into this black hole of self-loathing
Why?

I change my terminology in order not to bruise egos
the sensitivity of the soul
the tears ducts
the corners of the mouth
the shoulders tensing
I see it all.

I see words
I feel actions
Merge.
Please.
Merge.

My eyes are so swollen from flowers
We surf the stars
Curves together and sincere glances
Held together by skin
Carved in marble and slashed in cardboard
Breaking wood and cerebral intuition
I can ******* own mouth and I feel you
Fangs out and fists bared
Partners in crime for only moments
And say "Shoot muthafucka"
I'm the only one with the loaded gun.

i always thought that i didn't need money to have fun
i was foolish once.
higher cheekbones.
higher knowledge.

double penetrated with nostalgia and female empowerment.

Flaxen hair. Green eyes. The most familiar smile I've seen in forever.
I cry when she cries because we were born the same in different lands.

A South Philly Jordan Baker.
The tea is hot.

My inner serpent wants to crawl around your body
Your eyes rolling back into your cerebellum.

Scratchy face
Making my neck and cheeks sparkle and tingle

I want your teeth next to mine.

"I'm not much of a drinker"
My teeth break as I lie through them.

****.
I've known you since I set myself on fire and awakened from the ashes.

Yet I am putting you through the same routine that set me ablaze.

You ignited my soul with perfect hands and eyes and mouth
Overwhelming my senses with light public affection
And deep private care.

Why do I refuse to let myself be loved?

I'm elastic and loose like a worn bracelet.
Yet you make me turn to porcelain because I've never seen anyone with a smile like your's.

I get aroused and frightened by people that look like they were molded by the Gods.

****.
Your smile might just give me an overdose.

"I feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you."

Crack from your energy.
****** from your ****.
Ecstacy from your lips.
Xanax from your voice.
**** from the lilt of your conversation.
And a cigarette for your nerve.

I'm completely high when I'm around you.
Your hands around my face
Pulling me closer to your lips
Completely transfixed by your energy that exudes pure fame and love.

Where did I find someone as perfect as you?
Yet I reject you because we both know all the damage we'll do
to the psyches that are our mind's houses

You're going to put a hole through it.
But I don't mind.
I never told you how much I enjoy pain.
And I really ******* enjoy you.

"Let's get together and feel alright."
For now.
Why anticipate the future?

Day 51. I didn't check your facebook so I ate Ben & Jerry's to celebrate.
Day 52. I caved and checked your facebook but you've been only adding dudes.
Day 53. I went to our neighborhood bar and a regular said he thought you were gay and I laughed and was like "yaaaassss"
Day 54. There's a certain song that makes me think of you and I'm so mad at myself because its a good song but I can't listen to it without gettig teary because I miss your touch.
Day 55. I had false hope and I saw my replacement's bike out ya house
Dat 56: I bought a ten dollar pack of cigarettes and you came down to the bar and we both couldn't make eye contact because it hurt so bad to look at each other and be attached.
Day 57. I drank myself into nothing.
Day 58. I tried to figure out what I should do about my entire life but I just watched Parks and Reck all day.
Day 59. I broke a glass on purpose because I felt out of control and just wanted my boyfriend back.
Day 60. I never left my bed.
Day 61. I hadn't showered in days and only left my bed once for delivery.
Dat 62. I needed to quote my favorite B.E.E "I know longer know who I am, and feel like the ghost of a total stranger."