I can't change the way I was raised
But I can change what I believed
Though, it's like pulling away my skin
Because it was always a part of me
Shedding away the belief
That emotions are a burden
Don't tell them you feel this way
It's even worse when you're uncertain
Peeling away the belief
That people weren't meant to stay
If you depend on them more
They'll leave right away
Keep loved ones close
But only close to your walls
Don't let them see
What you've been through, at all
Peeling my skin like mutated armour
That slowly hardened and evolved
Only to expose my sensitive insides
That stings with each resolve

As life goes on
It often gets harder
I have to keep moving
Become better and stronger
Sometimes I fail to catch up
I feel exhausted from it all
I want to take a break
But I can't, so I crawl
Because what I'm tired of
Is living life itself
That if death were to come for me
I am reluctant to tell
I would welcome him with opening arms
And hug him until I fall
Asleep for all eternity
Finally free from it all

It's hard to move on
When the issues are still prevalent
It always takes me back to the time
When it was worse and I was innocent
It is hard to forget
The screams and the conflict
And it is hard to ignore
What was ongoing and constant
So when you tell me to forget it all
It's in the past, let's start over
As though you asked me while drunk
It is pointless if you aren't sober
It is hard to forget
The heaviness in my chest
That keeps me grounded
And my mind constantly restless
When you ask me to forget
But didn't ask me to forgive
Do you think it's erasing my regret
For the life I was deprived to live?

It is misleading to say
That I am trying my best
When I am actually trying
To prevent myself from getting worse
To prevent that state of being
When I can no longer stand
And sitting up becomes unbearably hard
When every part of me is at its lowest
And my mind has completely given up
I lie still waiting
For my physical being to die with me

You are like a box of kleenex
But you are more than a box of tissues
You are there when I am sick
Or whenever I cry over personal issues
You are there to help me
Clean up my messes
You are there to comfort me
With my life stresses
I need to take you everywhere with me
In pocket form, when I travel too far
And traveling gets easier
When there's one in the car
You help me aid others
When they are sick or need help
You can never have too much kleenex
Or a mother's love for yourself

You are one of those people
Who loves my company
Though, when it comes to my different sides
You couldn't love all of me
How can you say you understand
When you neglect my inner demons
If you are ashamed of them, you are ashamed of me
They are a part of me from deep within
How can you understand me
When you only care what is easy to know
That you do not dare solve the puzzles
Of the complexities of my soul
So when you say you love me
I cannot believe in such a lie
Because my dark layers were too deep for you
And you didn't even try

The road to recovery
May be longer than I intend it to be
As if I've been walking for more than a century
Seems more like the road to immortality
Even if I still walk the path in darkness
Even if I cannot see the end
I will keep walking forward
While my heart continues to mend
I will stitch my heart back to together
Finding new pieces along the way
Filling in those missing parts
It will evolve into something new each day
A path with no light
Can be difficult at times
I cannot see the obstacles
I am more vulnerable from behind
Demons of my past
Or my mere cautiousness
Stop me from going further
I become emotional and careless
Along the way I learned
I create my own light
No matter where I go
There will always be a path in sight