there comes a point in life when you feel nothing
you can smoke a pack of cigarettes in one setting and not even get sick
you can cut yourself ten times over and never feel the *****
you could walk through a thousand graveyards and not even be afraid
there comes a point in life when you feel nothing

there comes a point in life when you feel nothing
and it looks like you've given in and given up
and nobody understands this is how it goes
because when you scream and shout what you feel deep in your pitiful soul
still nobody knows
there comes a point in life when you feel nothing

to be numb is not to be weak
to be numb is not to belittle the being
to be numb is not misunderstanding
to be numb is not to abandon the self
there just comes a point in life when you feel nothing

I still ask
myself why
you do the
things you
do, still wonder
if you hide behind
a paintbrush or
smoke blunts on
cliff edges with
pretty girls, wrapped
in bandanas, dust
and Albuquerque
sweat, I still romanticize
you in the back of my
head along with everything
else, and that song by Tori
Kelly winds back up over
the speakers.

We worry
about tomorrow




   what a waste it'll be when we don't wake up.

i never felt like the world was small enough
or vulnerable enough
or alone enough
to reach out and pluck from its holder
like an ill-fitted candlestick
but now that God has become a wooden statue
now that God no longer seems to breathe
or even be there
at all
the world is something that i see as
contained
crowded
dull tasting
like soda that has gone flat
and without
resolve.

i could pick up the world now, hold it in my hand
look at it
laugh at the small people
take a bite out of it
like an apple;
the world doesn't frighten me.
doesn't inspire me.
doesn't hold me.
doesn't care about me.
the world is

empty

My father once told me
"In life, you either sink or swim."

     I wasn't expecting the water to be so deep.
So I keep treading and holding my breath; Waiting to be pulled under by all the promises I never kept.

He said to "Play the Game"
but what happens when
two hearts collide?
When two players know
the rules and that it's not
just about falling in
love anymore?

This game of Love
would seem to be
so easy: just something
everyone could do.

He said to "Light another cigarette and
let everything go."
If everyone would play and
just let the whole world go,
wouldn't things be easier?

Love is pumping through me.
Everywhere inside of me,
in the cracks and lines
and veins and the sweet smile
I keep planted on my face.

"Don't play hard to get, it's a free world.
All you have to do is fall in love."
Oh Queen, isn't it harder
than that though?

I walked through a field of graves today,
And as the shadows of tombstones danced at my feet I thought about all of the times I wanted to be lying here six-feet under.
Through my trials of error I thought I had seen it all, but with every hardship I come to accept and handle head-on, I find myself starring into the eyes of a new fear.
Sometimes I tremble, sometimes I fall, but I always get back up.
I will never let the idea of failure bring me down, mo matter how consuming it may be.
So with sore shoulders and weary feet, I'm here at the entrance of all the souls that said goodbye,
Trying to find a place to rest; amongst shadows of tombstones and all these broken things.