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 Aug 2016 Carolyne McNabb
Stephan


Blew a kiss to the moon
in the heavens tonight
As it wandered along
on its magical flight

Then made a wish
and if it does come true
The moon will deliver
my kiss to you
 Aug 2016 Carolyne McNabb
Stephan


Take my hand we’ll stroll along
this winding way to somewhere far

Through maple trees, warm summer winds
with cricket songs and shooting stars

A garden path of jasmine vine
in moon beam light and fragrance sweet

We'll follow each desire known
and destinies ahead to meet

Two silhouettes, a quiet night
in footprints left on sandy shores

Around the bend, down every lane,
you by my side, I need not more

Until we reach the mountain top,
where echoes flow of wishes tossed

And we shall shout to all the world
within our love, we two are lost . . . together
She’s sweet and kind.
She’s smiling and laughing.
No one sees her frame of mind.
No one hears her heart cracking.

She’s beautiful and thin.
She’s popular and smart.
No one feels her evil twin.
No one sees her fake heart.

She loves her family and friends.
She loves animals and strangers.
No one notice her mind of cleanse.
Those around don’t feel the danger.

The time is near.
To see her other side.
Everyone feels fear.
They're afraid to be alive.

Sweet and kind changes to evil and cruel.
She have the laughter of the devil.
She is cutting the flesh with an edge tool.
The feeling of insanity is so special.

The ****** path she chose.
She is in a whole other world.
Smelling the black rose.
Her thoughts is swirled.

Black.
Red.
Light won't come back.
The victims of her bloodshed.

Her heart remains enclosed in darkness.
The colour of her mind is pitch black.
She is truly heartless.
She won’t and can’t turn back.

Her life was just a plain cover.
This is her true colour.
More and more
My eyes
Are becoming
As his
His blood
Is contaminating mine.
I see his evil soul
Spurring in my kind nature.
He is influincing me
I catch it all the time.
His ideals
His way of thinking
Is starting
To corrupt mine.
Im scared
i will not be like him
I swear it.
Hold me accountable.
I will never hit
Never emotionally criticize
I will not be him!
even if it means
Ending it
**before it starts
Oh god. Help
 Aug 2016 Carolyne McNabb
S M
aware of my thighs for the first time
the chafing feeling was strange
but that was before
I would be told it was wrong
for them to feel each other this way

a flash of grey concrete
a drizzly morn
amongst school-yard mayhem
when i ran for the ball
I realised with a slap
that my tights could but fall
to reveal a small clap
a self- conscious call

an echoing sound
of my dark tiny caves
and to those all-around
it would seem to enrage
that a girl could but play
on her imaginary stage
and be so unaware
of society’s rage

against anything
that could be seen to unfit
the symmetry’s model
or prophesied kit
and if the stitches were not tied
and the girl wouldn’t sit
she would endure the world's plight
of malicious hot spit

so read out the pages
of her cautionary tale
of ****** in rib-cages
that would just bring to fail
an attention that was given
to other females
as she would learn to despise  
her own meat on the scales

....
I've battled with anorexia for 17 years.
 Aug 2016 Carolyne McNabb
S M
you have brushed me
as daylight rose,
and each sigh
contented the air
soaked with sun-beams
through the blinds.
I am the sum of your parts,
and they are like
an aching set of tiny bones
that are crumbling
in your hands.
Don’t go away,
your gentle breath will be missed
by me and my day -
as you are the air that keeps
my lungs
heaving with reason.
With each eye-locked spiral
I fall deeper into your
chestnut coloured soul,
that swims with
endless passageways.
When I think of you...
if you looked in my window
you'd see a shattered girl crying
you'd see a broken dream dying
if you saw in that shattered girl crying
you'd see a heartbroken past
you'd see an approaching darkness fast
if you saw in that dream dying
you'd see a thunder storm wail
you'd see a shattered girl pale
if you looked in my window
you'd see memories haunting
you'd see dead hopes taunting
if you stared at the memories haunting
you'd understand why life is scary
you'd understand a sliver of burdens i carry
if you stared at dead hopes taunting
you'd understand my fear
you'd understand why i can't live here
if you looked in my window
you'd see nothing
you'd see running
if you wondered about the nothing
you'd find horrors all your own
you'd find yourself dethroned
if you wondered about the running
you'd find the real reason
you'd find yourself charged with treason
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