It's been a while since I've written anything, and I'm starting to wonder if it was your presence that was my only source of inspiration.

This is not good. This is NOT good.

Months passed and I have met so many people that I thought the loss of a person, no matter what it was we had and no matter what it is he meant to me, should not haunt me constantly as it is doing right now.

This is not good. This is not good.

It has become scary because my only getaway from this gruesome, cruel world is sitting down with my cat in my lap contemplating former thoughts of you.

My goodbye was unexplained, and despite the numerous amounts of poetry I've read and the numerous amounts of poetry I've written, I cannot, up to this day, fathom my own goodbye.

This is not good. This is not good.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if I showed up at your doorstep and then I remember I would never really have the guts to do that.

I am petrified of you. I'm still in love with you.

This is not good. This was never good.

i drew blood
with my
nails
on his back

but before i
could apologize

he pressed his finger
to my lips and
told me

"that's a pain i could get addicted to"

I should've guessed, I should've known.
If there's a lightning, thunder will come.

That I was a guest, this wasn't my home,
but I was just too afraid to be alone.

Winds might change after tomorrow
and the sea my pain could somehow swallow.

But today there's this mountain of sorrow,
that blocks the sun, and makes me feel hollow.

There was a very sad little girl.
her whole world was in a wurl.

Her mother was sick.
Her father was a ****.

She prays each and every day.
That she could at least be gay.

After she lay awake, she saw a shooting star.
She made a wish that one day she will go far!

The next day her mother became well.
Her father didn't have to dwell.
She had a chance to smile.
And she done just that.
she smiled Forever!
<3