Love
Is
Forever
Eternal.

You left.
I became free.
Some may say
That's overrated..

*But who
Knows?

What is the meaning of life?
To be or not?

Be my guest
I write to remember that
I have emotion.
Its not my intention
to be liked at all.
Yeah I'd like to
be loved if its possible.
By: thebelljar*

This is me.
I could not have said it better.
I stay hidden,
But I'd like to be noticed.
This is my dream.

I long to be loved.
I think everyone does,
But I've been looking for it in all the wrong places.
Maybe I need to look closer to home....
Myself

Please,
I know that
If you look into my eyes,
You will see all the unshed tears
and the pain of what you caused.
And I know that you'd fix this pain that I feel.
So please look into my eyes..

I'm so lost without you.
Come back to me?

Why does it feel
Like I'm LOST...

Without you near?

I'm tired of putting my heart on the line when all I get is pain.
But I know that I will continue to love anyways.

I deserve better than this, don't I?

All I'm asking....

*Is for someone to love me back

I'm sorry that I love you..
Just don't hurt my heart because You can't give it back.

Is it a crime to want someone to hold my hand,
To kiss me and text me goodnight??

I love you
More than I love myself

It *****.

Love doesn't die,
It simply fades or grows.
It can fade away to nothingness,
But as soon as you see that picture,
Or hear that song,
You are filled with the past and the love you had.
Or it can grow,
Where it consumes your thoughts and every waking moment is spent thinking and wondering..
Love doesn't die,
It expands and changes,
And LIVES

I am mad
Mostly
At myself

I could have
Done something
Yet I chose
Not to

Why?
I don't know
Why did I not
Do anything?

I am mad
At me, myself
And I

I chose not to act
On my beliefs and ideas
On my viewpoint
To help

Why?
I was afraid

Simpy afraid

I'm the one what dishes out advice like money from a billionaire.
Yet I am broke..

Creative
Awesome
Imaginative
Touching
Loving
Inquisitive
Normal

­Moody
Open to new ideas
Ordinary
Daring
Y-why not

If I give you my heart
Will you protect it?

So, I learned today that I minimize my own pain and hurt for someone else's
Not to belittle myself, but to be more compassionate of the other person
And that little tidbit of info, really changed my perspective of a lot of things..

I want to look in the mirror
And see what others see in me.
What makes me so special?
What makes me so different?
What makes me wear my heart on my sleeve?
What makes me me?

At the age of 16,
I am a mother.
Now they are not own kids.
I didn't give birth to them.
But I am their mother.

They are those I take under my wing.
Those to who I give love unconditionally.
Those who I hold while they cry.
They are my kids.

Moody
Happy
Sad
Angry

Moody
Kind
Caring
Loving


Moody
Afraid
Scared
Terrified

Moody
Depressed
Hidden
Shy

Moo­dy
Careful
Wary
Hardened

Moody
Joyful
Willing
Tried

Moody
Control
Fearful
Fallen

Moody-
Ready
Set
Go.

Happy Mother's Day!
To those who are mothers,
To those giving birth,
To those barren yet love others.

To those who are single dads,
Because you are mothers in your own way.
To the grandmothers, and aunts.
To the mother-in-laws.

To the daughters and sons,
Who no longer have there mothers in flesh.
To the orphans and broken.
To you.

Happy Mother's Day
Because face it,
We've all acted as a mother in one way or another.

Music is my life.
I know I've said that a million times
But it is. All of me is music
You will never catch me in a moment
when I'm not humming lyrics or singing or playing my horn.
Music is also, my escape.
The thing I turn to when I'm falling apart inside.
It's also one of my biggest problems.

You know how in the cartoons
The main character has,
When making a decision.
A devil and an angel
On either shoulder

Well, lately
I think that I have one
But my story has to go back..

I've always had my angel
Since I was little.
But it wasn't until high school
Where I met my devil

He impacted my life hugely.
Then my angel started to fall
for this devil.

I know it sounds cheesy
But my angel knew
that he was a devil
But she chose to sit back
And see where he leads

Angel eventually fell in love.
With what she knew about the devil
And she didn't question it.

Then our story takes an interesting turn-
The devil left.
Abruptly, without a word
The angel was devastated

She didn't know what to do.
She was stuck

She sat and tried to figure
Out what she had to do.
She picked herself up
And simply moved on.

But it's not as it was that simple.
She still though of the devil
Every single day.
Whether it be intentional
Or not.
She still cringed at the thought
Of him doing the same thing to someone else.
Someone else falling to his charms
She still wept.
She still fell apart.

*But my angel is still there

My Love,
I wish I knew who you are.
Caitlin

Why are you coming to my thoughts?
The crushes, small time romances, the guys I liked.
Why am I thinking of you???

I have lost my muse.
What to do now?

I am frustrated with myself.
Mainly because I know I can do so much better than what I am.
But there's always fear that holds me back.
Fear of messing up,
Of disappointment.
Of letting people down.
Of failing.
I can't let that happen.
I won't let that happen.

Because of what we shared
      You will always have
               *A piece of my heart

I'm singing on Sunday,
I'm a nervous wreck.
It's bad....

As I enter into 2016, I find myself wondering.
Where will this year take me?
Where will I be lead to go?
For college? For life?
And as I'm wondering I can't help but smile,
Because the future is full of mysteries;
But I'm talking it one day at a time.

I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I will not let my emotions get the best of me.
Not again.

I have to get rid of my comfort zone
To stop being afraid.
To step out of thus box that I've built around me.
And I know I'll cry and I'll be crushed.
But I have to.
I have to.

I am not perfect
Though I strive to be.

Sorry.

I am broken.. what now?
I don't think I can rebuild myself....

I beleive that I have become so numb to the pain that when I have a tidal wave of emotions coming at me...

I become afraid.
And I usually break down..

I've been told that I care too much.
And this is actually true.
My heart is too big,
Too open,
Too willing to simply give.
That I need to pull back some,
I come off too strong.

Its very hard for me to hate someone,
It's just something that I do.
You can hurt me,
Way down in my core,
Emotionally, Physically, Mentally
But You will still have part of my heart.

Some people say that this isn't good,
that its a curse.
How so?
I love people,
Yes, maybe more than I should.
But do people complain about loving too much?
Shouldn’t we be more concerned about those that aren’t loved enough?
Those that go through life broken, and damaged?

I am simply one person,
Who cares.
A lot for the people around me.
Strangers, people I’ve only met briefly,
Friends since birth, and yes,
Even you.

Sometimes I wish
That some things in life
Are optional

I pace.
When I am confused,
Sad,
Overthinking,
I pace

Is this truly what pain feels like?
I don't need a razor,
You are the blade against my skin.
I don't need a savior,
I'm too far in this hell hole that I created,
I don't need advice,
I know what I'm doing, most of the time.
I don't need this pain,
You're my pain.
I never asked for this.
Is this what true pain feels like?
An already broken heart,
Being shattered again?
And again?
A world that I've worked so hard to bulid around me?
Coming down in pieces?
My walls, in parts and torn,
Being crumbled to dust?
Is this what pain is??