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Caitie Nov 2015
what have you done to me.
i let you undress me with your eyes,
slowly and reassuringly.
and then aggressively with your hands,
undoing the buttons on my shirt
and unzipping my jeans
nearly ripping the fabric right from under me.

pulling me across the bed
breathing heavily into my ear,
i'm remembering why
i ever called you mine in the first place.
we decorated these walls with our fingerprints
and they remain as memories of every time we've touched.

now why you?
is it your scent, is it your skin?
the way the marks you leave on my stomach
feel like you every time i touch them?
its you that i want, its you that keeps me here
when i should be with whom i claim to love.

when you were mine,
it was a perfect dream,
we ran through the war with not a scratch
not a dent in our skin.
we got out of the mess,
accompanying each other through the storm.

I should have let you sit in the driveway,
I should have never let you walk through the front door.
Why couldn't you have left me alone in this room
without your taunting glares
begging for the affection i crave so much.

I swore i wouldn't do this.
I swore i wouldn't kiss your neck again,
i swore i wouldn't make you want me.

but I gave in.
so here you are
once again.
you're lying on my bed,
and i'm on top of you.
Caitie Oct 2015
When the trees grow old
And the wind begins to blow
The branches sway back and forth
And the leaves begin to fall.
The bark starts to peel,
And the roots grow weaker and weaker.

But if we climb that tree,
If we reach the very top,
We notice the clouds in a clear sky
And how they sway to the left,
Sway to the right,
Listening to what the wind tells them to do.

So if we jump to the clouds
We can look down and see
Everything going on
From a different perspective.
Our point of view sways one way
Or another because of what we want to see.

We can see it all for miles,
We can see the world from here.
We can see young ladies swaying their hips,
We can see the ocean’s waves crash.
We can see each spec of waste
We can see whatever we please to find.

But this is unnerving
And this is not how we want to discover
So we hop back to the swaying branches.
We sit and ponder our visions,
We can imagine all of the possibilities
That we have just encountered.

We can see that our tree
Is just as strong,
Is just as gorgeous
As that young woman swaying her hips,
As the ocean’s waves.
The peeling bark uncovers fresh sap
And the tree’s roots regenerate strong.

When the trees grow old and the wind begins to blow,
We sit on the branches, and sway our feet
Hundreds of feet above, and write poetry to our imagination.
Caitie Aug 2015
maybe one day
when the sky is painted black
and the trees fall from the sky
so blissfully the leaves turn gold,
you'll come back, you'll make the decision to love me again.
maybe once
when your mind trickles into the depths of my heart,
when the waves and the air are crisp and cool,
you'll become enticed with the fire in my eyes and remember why we grew those fields in the first place
now, if I knew anything about how to live.
if I took my thoughts and emptied my mind,
I'd let each emotion fly off into infinity.
I'll see how dangerous I am, and how misguided you'll be.
for the rest of your life, without a love like mine.
I'll be the deprived one, and you'll be crazed by where you've taken place.
but that's just your decision.
Caitie Jun 2015
a million and one sleepless nights
for the one awake and dreaming about the darkness below.
their fingertips bleeding from tapping to the beat of their heart
and the crevices of their skin roughed into the minds
of the others who deem themselves broken.
mixing poison and the mind, and deprivation of second chances
the failure of us is no surprise to those who flourish
among the minds of the weak.
walking through the millionth haunted house we've seen,
but the demons all remain the same.
varied atmosphere guaranteed us absolutely nothing,
and we're still scared.
Caitie Feb 2015
portraits of your blackening soul dance around my mind like daisies whilst your heartbeat seems to disintegrate into nonetheless craters of hatred and disgust. Ashless remains of your once flourished mind rest in my hair as a reminder that you were once whole. as if you are of any worth to the drought that rests inside of me. you still contain all that I once dreamt of. but you will never amount to the expectations I have of the person you should be.
Caitie Feb 2015
every senseless thought
you are not dead to the mind.

reading to you from my fingertips
your destiny lies in a drought.

aimless and lost
you are blind

I am not mute,
I am not naive to you
I am anything but practiced
in the art of fixing your soul
everytime it breaks.

You, to me.
We are one salvaged being
Chained.
Gruesomely punished.
We are it.

But you are forgotten.
You are one sad, sick person
You are the one.
You will not make it.

But me, I am just blind.
Caitie Jan 2015
I am anything but disgusted with you.
The way you smiled
or the ridiculous squeak in your laugh.
I am anything but in awe the way you  loved me.
or the way you touched me
with such elegance.
I am anything but upset
with the way you made promises, with the way you broke them.

I know tendencies of humans,
and how it is not so easy to stick around with such an unloving soul.
it is treacherous to breathe the same air
of a person who is broken.
I could never have expected you to.
I could never ask such a thing.

I am not mad that you are gone,
I am mad that I let you stay and destroy the person I once was
for the person you thought I should be.
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