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Everyday we go to school with the weight of the world on our shoulders
We walk through the halls with the weight of untold worries, hurried decisions and quiet stress
We sit in class and wait with the weight of unknown answers
We talk through lunch with the weight of social pressures
We go home with the weight of too many books on our back
We go in the house with the weight of the school day
We do our homework with the weight of an impending due date
We eat dinner with the weight of dysfunctional family conversation
We go to sleep with the weight of the entire day on our minds
We wake up with the weight of restless sleep in our eyes
And we do it all again with the weight of the knowledge that we will be caught in this loop for years to come
I lost my childhood...

Please help me to find it.
I've kept my demons,
In close proximity.
Because, let's be honest,
They're never far away.
I do what I must,
To keep them at bay.
Their constant urge.
The world turns,
From vibrant to gray.

**-N.C.
 Dec 2014 Brooke Alexander
B M
We changed like the seasons
Coming and going
Never quite staying in one place
When I met you,
I was rain
Falling ever so quietly
As I got to know you,
It stopped raining
The storm passed,
The sky looked clear.
Once I realized what was happening,
It started raining again
And it hasn’t stopped.
I unlocked your mind you know
just to see what I could see
And if you promise to pay the postage
I'll mail you back the key.
Let us write a song to right the wrongs
To wash our sins away.
Let us sing it out, let all free
Because this is me!
I admit, I am a sinful person
I admit, I have a lot of flaws!
I admit, to having bad conversation
And to breaking a few laws.
But who are you to deem me evil?
Who are you to point me out?
We are all just digging our own graves until we can’t climb our way out!
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I’m forced make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….
Where is the sympathy?
For leaving us no place to start
Watching as we slowly fall apart
We are youth in a nation that is never truly free
We are born in a country where there is no sanity
So please! Please set us free
This world is evil…
And so am I.
I’ll lie right to your face
And won’t feel an ounce of regret.
You stabbed me in the back, now feel my pain
Because once I am done, you’re likely to go insane!
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I must make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I must make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….
sometimes I feel like a still life
that won't sit right on the wall.
sometimes I feel like a guitar
with one broken string,
so all the chords come out slightly wrong.
sometimes I don't feel at all
and I'm not sure I mind.

I'm a study in grey.
And I've nothing to say
as I paint my portrait of dissatisfaction.

I eat ash with my hands
and ***** ink on the page.
And if I sit real still,
I swear I can feel myself age.

In a room full of silence,
I have conversations
with the space between echoes.

I'm always running,
but going nowhere.

I'll meet you in Big Nothing.
We can save the world.
We can wear capes if you want.
My baby brother.
I fell in love with your shiny green eyes,
I remember how bright was your smile.
You used to hold my hand softly,
as if I was a porcelain doll about to break.

Just one year has passed
and your eyes look dead.
I've never seen such a fake smile,
I need to take a breath.

It hurts like hell seeing your scars,
and how your lips have turned blue.
I wish I could just go back in time,
but there's nothing I can do.

Your skin is so pale,
just like the sheets of this hospital bed.
I'm still shocked by the news,
I'm afraid of what I can lose.

Your arms are covered by bandage
and I wish it was me,
but I'm just here crying
because they told me you're dying.
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