Truth is, if one day
years from now
in a crowd full of stars
somewhere in the city unknown
we ever bumped into each other again
in that one sweet day
I can bet that a smile will greet us both
cause the history once we share
was abso-******-lutely one great affair

What The ****
Nature is weird
The order of it
Seems like madness
Perhaps order is false
Perhaps there is only chaos
Mayhaps I'm simply rambling.

Blissful happiness
when the mind
is evading thought

Is absolute hell
to whom thinking
is bliss.


-fr

I know emotions can be tangled and bound
but the key is staying strong and happiness will be found
a reason to live a normal life
I hope you think of this poem when you pick up a knife
that it doesn't help. the addiction to harm
emotions will remain but just remain calm
and those scars will heal not gone but locked away
from all the bad things that made things be this way
my wrist to was a an array of cuts
but I was running from my feelings all ifs and buts
I hate the sadness that this world brings
and harm that is done is just one of those things
I promise every one reading that happiness is there
but don't worry because I'll always care
for people who are lost and on the wrong path
because the only medicine there is IS to smile and laugh
so stay strong people and don't be scared
because I'm one of thousands whom these scars are shared
I'm here for you all for whom life has done wrong
be happy. smile proudly but always stay strong.

If you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve that.
That uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Like I’m trying to repent for wasting my day but I don’t know why.
It didn’t feel like I was wasting it until it was over and by then…
The sun was already setting.

Let me try to make more sense of this…

So you’re 8 years old.
Not once in those 8 years have you ever worried
That you won’t be enough,
That you won’t amount to anything.
In those 8 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to treasure maps.
Streetlights were your curfew
And the sunset never seemed like an ending.
You went to bed that night and woke up 10 years later in a panic Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world was falling apart
And the sun hadn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

The swing set couldn’t get you out of orbit
And you didn’t find what you were looking for
In that hole in the back yard.

You’re 18…
Everything feels like the ending of the story
And you don’t even know the plot yet.
You start drawing treasure maps again
And everyone thinks you’re crazy,
But all you’re really trying to do find is what you lost so long ago
And when they tell you to just retrace your steps…
None of the footprints look like you own.

You start running in reverse.
Whether it be to get away from yourself or who you thought you were, It doesn’t matter.
The point is that you’re looking for something.
You start dusting off old treasure maps and try to revisit the stars.
What once was your castle
Is now just an old blanket next to the couch in the living room.
You start to panic.
Frantically you search for the moment of impact
When your rocket returned home
And the lid of the treasure chest slammed shut.
But you won’t find it.
It’s not there anymore.
You start to notice how empty your gut feels,
Yet at the same time so heavy.

So you’re 18 years old.
You’ve started to worried that you won’t be enough.
That you won’t amount to anything.
In these 18 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to taking tests.
Streetlights are no longer your curfew
And every sunset is a different ending.
You’ll go to bed tonight
And wake up 10 years from now in a panic
Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world never stopped falling apart
And the sun hasn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve this.
This uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Maybe because I know I’m still searching for something
And my time is running out.
And everyday when I wake up,
Panicked,
Looking for something I lost the day before
The world starts falling apart…
But by then…
The sun is already setting.

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is…

And at the end of that day,
What you're looking for could be right in front of you,
Plain as the sunset,
But you'll never know unless you keep your eyes open,
And keep looking.

So if you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

My mom asks me, why is it
that I sleep so much
She questions if I think reality is good enough

I don't have the courage to tell her that
I prefer dreams
And I can't seem to muster up
the right words to say

reality is exhausting
and all I do is feel

I feel everything
whether intensely
passionately
and I don't know how much longer
I can take these emotions gnawing at my tongue
Or if I handle the scratching in the back of my throat
begging me to say how I truly feel

And I know better then to tell her
that in my dreams
are where I can meet
up with you

This fantasy
A timeless taunting
vision
of you and I
together

At least in dreams

I won't be tortured by the inability to touch you
I pull you in
tightly
as your willing to be swallowed
immersed
I'd be submissive to your touch

At least in dreams

I can listen to your heart beat
as you listen to mine
and my heart frantically drums at my rib cage
just from the thought of you
beside me

In dreams I can even leave small peaks
along your collar bone

I can intertwine our trembling fingers
and
leave
lazy traces
of me
over your flesh

At least in dreams

I can swallow your enchanting sighs
with our mingling lips
then use my fingertips
to study the rise and fall
of your hips

In my dreams
I will use my tongue to write poetry
permanently
along your satisfied skin

I know that in dreams
there's a chance

you'll love me.