It's 4:36am
and here I am
Face down on the floor with wet, swollen eyes that won't seem to stay closed.
4:37
the sun will shine in a few hours, but the light can't keep the darkness of my heart away.
4:38
I thought you were an open door to save me
turns out you were an open window for someone else.
4:39
Winter is coming up soon and our pictures are coming down,
but pain isn't a season or a memory. It's here to stay.
4:40
My heart is damaged just like you said I was. I'm saying good bye to the world. Good bye to you.
May my dreams put me 6 feet under tonight.

Its hard to think about numbness taking away huge chunks of me as a person
It keeps eating away at parts of my internal wiring until there's nothing but bare metal
Depression has somehow become a trend
Id gladly trade places with any of you to feel again
Please
Take this plague from my body
Take the weights off of my soul
I am losing control
I truly ache for anyone who can truly relate to this indifferent identity
I wouldn't wish this sickness upon my worse enemy
My mind screams so loud i expect every last ******* entity on this earth to hear it
Death to anyone who opposes my spirit
Even if its myself
I am past the point of help
My malfunctioned parts collect dust on a shelf
Self inflicted surgery at the time seemed to be the only way to ensure my health
There are pictures hanging everywhere of my body with the face cut out
I find no solace in how i look now
I've broken every mirror in my house
21 years of bad luck no reason to stop now
Encase me in cement and break me across the ground
So i can taste the dirt and get kicked around
One last time

I pray to god,
that someday I may wear my heart
On my sleeves
Instead of my eyes.

I am more interested in your demons at 2am,
Than I am of the person you pretend to be at 2pm.

Today I feel broken.
I'm carving up pieces of myself
offering them to everyone in an attempt
to make myself forget and help them

Today I'm getting smaller.
As I offer more pieces and he,
Who usually puts them back,
Takes them without question

Today I am sad without reason
Today I want him to know that
Today I cannot seem to show it
Never am I able to say it


Today I am a closed book
I expect him to read me
I cannot seem to yield my pages
I cannot open myself

Today I am a closed book
Today I am sad without reason
Today I am getting smaller
Today I feel broken

Today... depression.