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Apr 2015 · 426
him
Dusty McCool Apr 2015
him
i see him in class
i see him in the hallways
i see in my dreams
but
he doesn't see  me in class
he doesn't see me in the hallways
he doesn't see me in his dreams
he sees her
Apr 2015 · 893
school
Dusty McCool Apr 2015
i miss you
i miss your hallways
i miss seeing all my friends
i miss even seeing the bullies
i need you
i shouldn't of done that
i should have never gave in
But i did and i can't change that
Apr 2015 · 3.0k
Drugs
Dusty McCool Apr 2015
people say that drugs help with the pain
but  do they
i guess they make you feel good for a while
or is that a mind trick
but are they worth getting kicked out of school?
**NO
Mar 2015 · 486
The Happiness
Dusty McCool Mar 2015
The sun is setting
The light on my skin feels good
The tingle on my skin is unique
The feeling is indescribable
The dark is coming
The faces are appearing  
The laughs are getting louder
The names there calling me
The flame is ignites
The flesh is burning
The pain is stinging
The reality is so strong
The alarm is going off
The body awakes
The mind alert
The dream is gone
The happiness is back
Mar 2015 · 508
Spring
Dusty McCool Mar 2015
The sun is shining
But why am I sad
The birds are singing
But I am crying
The flowers are beautiful
But I am hideous
The stream is flowing
But the stream is warm
The berries are red
But the red wont stop
The vultures are flying
But I am de
For those who don't know, de is dead
Mar 2015 · 496
That One Person.
Dusty McCool Mar 2015
That one person,
That one person that I can’t help but want to love
That one person that I can’t help but want to have for my own
That one person that I can’t help but want to see everyday
That one person that I can’t help but want to stare at all the time
That one person,
That one person will never be mine
That one person will never love me
That one person will never want to have me
That one person will never see me outside of school
That one person will never look at me for who I am besides what I am known for
But you will never love me the way I love you.
Mar 2015 · 474
Behind the Smile
Dusty McCool Mar 2015
In high school middle school and even elementary
I wasn’t in the popular crowd or the cool kids
I was just on the sidelines like I wasn’t even there
I was the kid known as that fairy kid, the queer, and the ****

I wasn’t known as who I really am.

So when I walked down the halls
I could hear them call me names
I saw them point and laugh
I still do.  
I can still remember everyone that has called me names. Queer
I can still feel it resonating in my head. ***
I still hear the laughter in the throbbing pain in my head
like the pressure of my blood pumping through. ****
I see their faces floating around like in the movies.

---In reality sometimes they’re gayer than me

I cried almost every time I was in the shower
No one could hear me
No one could see me
No one could feel the same way as I did

I would always look at the razors sitting there beside me
Trying to get my self to just grab it.
And see if the pain would go away with just one cut
I almost tried to commit suicide

I couldn’t use the razor
The sight of blood makes me faint,
I needed an alternative.
Then fire caught my eye,
and then my skin.

The pain felt like it was cold then like a bee sting all at once
But I did it more I could still hear those names
I could still see them staring and laughing
It wouldn’t go away
It couldn’t

I did this for months
Until I faced the truth that it would never take away the pain
The pain was there, is there, and always will be there
Their face will still laugh and taunt me in the back of my mind

But times are getting better
I have my friends and family to help
The pain is still there just not as bad with their help
But that’s the story behind the smile

And if I was gay
Does it matter?

— The End —