I came home
Contemplating my demise
And you yelled at me
Maybe you meant it
Maybe you didn’t
But you made it worse

tw self harm


I really thought maybe I could hold out
But I wanted it so ******* bad
I wanted it to look gross
I wanted strips of red covering my wrist
Wanted thick, garnet droplets
Stinging all over my forearm

I wanted to do damage
To see damage
To look hurt
To feel pain
I needed it
Needed the blood

So I drew it myself
And it ******* hurts
But finally I feel relief

Some part of me
Is screaming
Crying
Writhing
It’s sick
It’s dying
But I have to...
I have to keep going
I have to function.

But really...
Really all it wants
Is to cry in the darkness
Bleeding
Dying

But I have to function.

I know.
I know that it won’t matter.
That no matter how much
Of my blood spills
How much of it I wipe away
No matter how much it hurts
Or how many scars I create
It won’t make me want to be alive.

What do you do...
When your unconscious mind
Knows what you want....
And it’s so **** destructive
But it almost... almost is trying to coerce you
You’re fantasizing....
About your end....

the room was cold
and there were
gray flowers
of dampness blooming
all over the walls
He took off
his shoes and
the shoes were the
warmest things in
the room so the kitten
climbed into one of them
He sat on the
mattress in the corner
and petted the cat
in the shoe
He smiled and said
to the kitten, "At least
I have no debts."
Even God agreed
with him. He winked through
the hole in the
ceiling

I can’t believe it
I almost couldn’t finish
Because you... you were in my head
I nearly cried!
Flooded with dopamine
And you made me cry
I still miss you, **** it!
Your absence has left my heart torn
YOU LEFT ME ALONE

You’re no good for me
I’ll only hurt you
But my stupid little heart
It got attached
It desperately wants you close

I miss you
I love you
And I’m so... I’m so sorry...