A maze meant
Loving You
Across

Space and Time
Direction spites
Crossroads

Hello. I am here

In the motion of flying leaves
I can feel the wind revolve around the urn
Embracing it,
Embracing you
I will miss you,

But like old clothes, I will learn
To outgrow the memory of you
As time alters my head and body
My favorite jeans I insist on wearing,
But they just won’t fit anymore.

We now ride the boat of forgetting
Before alighting, allow me for the last time
To hide in your embrace
And the tattoo smile lines on your face
To which I lift a finger to trace.
We look to each other’s glass eyes,
Put on our coats, nod, then walk away.

But listen:
There always comes a time,
When the imagination fills in the absence
And the memory is relieved again
And again
For death does not end love
And separation does not further the distances

I miss some memories of people, 8pms next to a ceiling of November stars and random yo momma jokes.
I miss pepperoni pizzas and orange sodas of a meeting the night before an Algebra exam.
I miss some people who move to the United States, back to Mindanao, away to Makati.
I miss not knowing of a graduation until we sing that batch song one last time.
I miss her under a Langka tree with a chuckle next to the height of my left shoulder. She was measuring my happiness in the little talks and ringing laughter.
I miss wiping her tears as I helped roll her bag across the rocky road to a bus.
I miss being under the wings of God when I first met him through lion puppets and singing prophets.
I miss biting through those chocolate chip cookies after successfully reciting John 3:16.
I miss eating until the tummy says “keep going” and the candy bar bag was always open.
I miss crying when my yaya leaves me everytime I go to kindergarten. This was every single time I get down the school bus.
I miss smiling for a family portrait next to the Christmas tree.
I miss riding across a river with my little brother in paper hats and a floormat boat
I miss walking across a field of santol buds. Ruby to my eyes and to others who pick them.
I miss my panda bear. I could always sew the eyes back on.
I miss being young
But I can’t miss growing up and moving on.

There are memories I wish I could go back to
In time.
But I can only stare at pictures like this
Weep a bit
And wish for another.
But we chose to rethink it.
Reclaim love in the form of others.
Hugs and take-out food
Who dare to try and love
Against a world that would not take them
Some are absent now, but have lived the legacy of love.
His Fellowship never ends

You tickled me
From afar
With just
My very vision
Of you
A dream cloud
Of our hearts--experienced
Time reset
To days
Next to a Langka tree

We meet once
But I see a thousand times
More
Of sharing every second
In words about the World
We share
Shared
In memories
Monuments in my head
Next to the gate
Of my heart
Playful and brief

Your smile
takes me there
with your ***** eyes
Petite little chin
Dimples, I say
You gave petty love
Looks
and curly charms
A name
Yours

They had thin arms and basketballs
Jokes and jackstones
I only had my lunch box

They were eating together
I was alone

Across me
A riff of tables and chairs
There were my classmates
Exchanging butterscotch
Their laughter rang

In the white sound, I could not even speak because
Love never needed to talk
It just needed to create sense in my mouth
My mouth was full. Stuffed with the tanginess of gravy
This is why lonely is my bliss
Grow
Fat but I belong

A life in Christ is new and pure.
It is new as a white sheet, as fresh snow
Pure as the light, the lamb’s wool, the sun’s glow.

But the old life lingers; we battle ourselves.
And sin reminds us of our inherent darkness:
Every stolen pen and cheated test,
The sleepless nights of a lustful mind
Or the greed of our own open indulging mouth
Words like ice, hate, ******, lies.

But a life in Christ is new and pure.
His grace is sufficient, and his power is perfect.
He molds us, and prunes, burns and removes,

Changes anew.