-Bitter-
I gasp for the same breath you exhale
To me like sugar, but far more sweet
I grasp to the drug I call your heartbeat
You are the boat
You are the wind and sail

As I embark a trip so promising.

-Sweet-
What am I grasping to?
This question brings a tear to my eye
         Why?
I ask what, not who
A question more bitter, somehow tastes better
Knowing the tear is the answer that would upset her
And as if in a snap, the tear takes shape
Part of me believes you are just a means for my escape

Oh how bittersweet is loves blossoming.

Sometimes while looking in the mirror, I think to myself
I'm okay being me
I look alright
I am alright
And this is all I need
(It's not all that I want)
(but this is all that I need)

It is in the moments that we are falling apart in which we most will ourselves to stay together.

Please promise me
That you will embrace
The life you're having now;
The journey that creates
You

Please let me kiss you
Like raindrops when I am near
And listen to them speaking
"You're perfect for me"

Please feel how I wipe
Your weariness with giggles
And how I ******
Your flaws with my thumb

Please choose to remember
That I am in love with you
And that is the absolute truth
You could ever know

I'm filled with peaceful rage
Wanting to paint bullets in your eyes
whilst I kiss poems onto your lids

Wanting to un-man you
whilst you make love to me

Leaving you in trembling pain
whilst I hold you close to me as the sun rises

Would you Bleed for Me?
Lick it off my lips like you needed me?
Sit me on the couch with your fingers in my mouth,
you look so cool while you're reading me.

Let's cause a little trouble.
Oh, you make me feel so weak.
I bet you kiss your knuckles.
Right before they touch my cheek.

But I've got my mind, made up this time.
Cause there's a menace in my bed.
Can you see his silhouette?

And I've got my mind, made up this time.
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head.
Set a fire in my head, tonight.

Would you lie for me?
Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?
Would you pin me to a wall?
Would you beg or would you crawl?
Stick a needle in your hungry eyes for me?

Don't forget me, don't forget me.
I wouldn't leave you if you'd let me.
Hmm, when you met me when you met me.
You told me you were gonna get me.

-HALSEY

she started crying over the phone
again and it was
as if I was trying to come up for air
and she pushed me back
under

I say it to myself at night like a mantra

I am not my mother I am not my mother

she loves me but then she left me
over and over again
she loves me but then she said she didn't want me
told me to leave told me she didn't want
to see me anymore and that is what I learned
love is.

you are not good enough (she said) (but not
in so many words)
(and maybe she didn't mean it but) it is all I ever heard.
you are selfish (she said) and
who pulled you out of desert sand, mom, who
talked to you and did your laundry and who
held you when you cried and which one of us
told their child about their dreams of suicide and
why was I the selfish one and why do I believe you?

I forgive you, I think. I wrote a list of 50 reasons
to forgive you and I do but sometimes
my heart breaks a little under weight of your words.

you had no more to give, I think, you
did the best
you could.
the day we threw my father's ashes in the ocean, you
walked away
towards another empty grave.

he sank.
I swam.

you
were buried
alive.

And darling I
don't mind lighting
myself up in flames
to light up your
dark* ~