I’m still afraid of the dark
if I’m being very honest

petrified
of conjured shadows
lurking monsters
imagined foes

it’s when the night
is still & quiet
that I feel those eyes
so clearly

perhaps I’m being
watched by God
or something much more sinister

I want my eyes to cut
my tongue to bash
my fists to beat till ******

I want to scream till my throat
runs raw & red
for my tears to burn holes
into skin
my teeth to sink
without mercy

I don't intend to be
a gentle thing
made up of rubies, pearls
all things that smell sweet

for my soul carries with it
a vicious bite
a raging fire
made up of passion
& foolish pride

not meant to be tamed
but loved fearlessly
& without abandon

I wish it was the same
the way we were
when life was smaller
and we flew above the trees

how we braided grass
between our fingers
watched castle kingdoms
float above us  
knew
without question
that we were resolutely
each other's

I want it back
that wild abandon
reckless being
tooth-gapped smiles
wrapped in light
drenched in freedom

before we knew
that sharp twist of time
how growth meant distance
how living
taught us to forget

so why don't we return
beloved
to a place where we had less
but we were made of so much more

full of
shining eyes
unkempt hair
dirtied feet
and the safety of knowing
we always had something
to return to

above the forest
among the skies
forever home
in our awakening

I want to bottle that feeling
warm August air
dappled green sunlight
pushing into your arms
feeling that steady
heartbeat of life
heavy on my chest

I loved it all
every second
swathed in a drunken haze
the way you held me
in the dirt
let me kiss
your brittle bones
showed me all the scars
whispered every secret

I'd drink it if I could
that world-bending elixir of
anything, everything
rapturous murmurings
and quiet moments
we floated in
backs to the water
with worlds swimming below

I want you, you
all of you
emerald eyes
gentle smile
wanderer of the heart
touch me in my darkest places
let me know I'm yours
no matter the distance

yours, yours
always yours