she is not the kind of girl
that deserves to be left out in the cold...
she is not the kind of girl
that deserves to be taken for granted....

yet she'll set herself alight to keep someone else warm.
yet she'll allow herself to be forgotten, just to see someone else smile.

she is not the kind of girl that deserves to be treated this way.
maybe she'll get what she really deserves some day.

all the time,
they tell her that
she "deserves better"
yet nobody is willing
to give it to her.

sometimes i hate how
i can put my life on hold
& forget about my own well being
just to solve someone else's problems...

all the time, i say to myself:

"i am not jesus...
i am not buddha...
i cannot save everybody."

they call it being "kind"
but they don't know that helping people
but being unable to help yourself
can be a form of self destruction too.

"nobody wants broken things...

so who would want a broken person?"

—  she thought.

they ask me questions like "why is it so hard for you to trust?"

i don't reply.

i merely think...
well, i was ***** at 5.
i was abandoned by my father, sometimes my mother & my family.
i have been cheated on by "lovers" & backstabbed by "friends."
every time i trusted: i got *****, i got abandoned, i got cheated on & back stabbed.
every time i trusted, i got hurt.
how are you ask me why it's so hard for me to trust...

i have too many scars on my back.
...from all the knives people have stuck in it.

i always attract broken souls.
because broken attracts broken.