i used to swim a lot.
  i swam so much,
    my mum used to call me a mermaid.
      i'd take three deep breaths,
        then dive into the pool head first.
          & even though i was told not to,
            i'd keep my eyes open.
             as i swam,
            merely inches from the bottom,
          i kept my eyes wide open.
        i'd see the rays of light,
      breaking through the surface.
    as i swam,
  wiggling like a mermaid,
deep beneath the water,
  i kept my eyes wide open.
    i'd happily watch,
      as the lines of light,
        danced across the floor.
          to me, those reflections
            at the bottom of the pool,
            looked like marble tiles,
             lines of blue smoke,
            or lights from shiny shells.
          it was always peaceful.
        graceful,
      magical,
    beautiful,
  it was always my happy place.
& your eyes...
  they're pale blue,
    with little hints of green.
      & i stare at the lines of blue,
        dancing in your irises.
          it's as if the goddesses
            of the water
              have blessed you,
            with shards of water.
          shards of where my heart is home.
        & when i miss my happy place,
      all i need to do,
    is dive myself into your eyes.
  because your eyes
are my happy place.

he scraped his knee once,
when he was young,
and began to weep as
his blood trickled onto the sidewalk

his mother cleaned him up,
rested his head upon her ever-bruised shoulder,
stroked his hair,
and sang

     hush little baby,
     don't you cry
     it'll all hurt much less
     when you die

she scraped her knee once,
when she grew old,
and began to cry as
her blood trickled onto the floor boards

her son cleaned it up,
rested her head on his sturdy shoulder
stroked her hair,
and sang

     *hush now mama,
     don't you weep
     he's long gone now so
     you can sleep

Would you trust me?
Dance with me? Dance with me.
Lets dance to music only we can hear
“Let’s”
We moved our feet to the tune of a harp so delicate
That it didn’t even feel like dancing
It felt like floating so high up
We could’ve French kissed the heavens
Leaving our bodies behind
Soaking in our surroundings
Soul on soul
And that’s when I fell so hard in love
I was drawn right back into my body.
At that moment I knew
I knew that the hanging gardens of Babylon were hidden in the plums of your cheeks
The lighthouse of Alexandria was dug deep into your iris
That who ever built the temple of Artemisia was inspired by the wonders of your mind.
I was never good at dancing,
You didn’t mind at first
But I stepped on your toes one too many times,
And with every apology I blurted,
I watched the light in your eyes grow brighter
That’s when I knew,
That’s when I knew that all that radiating light wasn’t the lighthouse of Alexandria
It was just reflections off all the exit signs
All the stop signs
Turn back signs
Dead end signs
You’ve always had one foot out the ******* door,
You were a runner and you were always ready
Ready to sprint so far across the country at the slightest scent of commitment
And so you ran and I followed
Until my legs felt like twigs that can no longer support me
Until my heart couldn’t beat any harder
I chased after your trail of dust until there was no trail left to follow
You’ve always had such a light step to you,
I used to love it when we’d dance
I used to love it before it had me chasing ghosts across a dessert so empty that it starts to look like the grains of sand were shards of my heart.



“I water my plants until they drown & this is the only way i know how to love”

Gardens of roses appear ,
At the edge you stand in all your glory,
The beauty of both you and the roses tell me I'm dreaming.
You left so long ago, and I've counted the days and months since you left.
This field is all I have , as the sky darkens and the heavens open , you run towards me and I you , our arms meet and bodies intertwin , my hands at the lower of your back and your arms around me , I see you close your eyes and smile , I know this is all you've wanted , your scent stays on me , your warmth holds me and in the garden of roses we stand in the peak of our love , I look into your eyes and see only innocence , this moment is so precious , this moment so perfect , our minds agree in silence as our  lips meet our souls bond. The crack of thunder wakes me and all that's left is the memory of a dream so perfect it was a nightmare to wake up to the reality where the rose garden was filled with thorns and all it ended in was me cutting myself as you walked into the fields of green.

with what draft of me emerges from the steamy bath
all cleansed naked the sure one
the daft the absolved pure
one the glimmer of confessionals  the
bare necessary  genitals
as the animals find me no different clothed
just mad
and a man's nakedness is bold a woman's vulnerable
my genitalia a weapon
a nature hiroshima that just is
and I want to apologize to women
how they can not display like Whitman
or Ginsberg that same sense