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 Jan 2016 Ayush B
David Lessard
Wishing you were here again,
to shorten winter's night;
to curl up to my backside,
until the morning's light.

Wishing you were here again,
so my sleep would be just fine;
and we could share together,
the dregs of last night's wine.

Wishing you were close once more,
so I could touch your face;
hold you close within my arms,
in one great big embrace.

Wishing you were here, with me,
to put my heart together;
to ease my tortured thoughts,
to tell you you're my treasure.

Wishing you were here again,
with days that would not end;
to rectify my wounded soul,
and my broken heart, to mend.
coffee tastes better in Spain

a simple hello is groundbreaking

comfort can be a warm bed or a “like” of a picture

the cold is different in the UK (you can feel it in your bones)

they will always give you a knife and fork to eat a hamburger

sometimes you need to eat at a Hard Rock in Lisbon to be reminded of home

if you eat the bread, they will charge you 1€

crying alone in a hotel room or at a Chinese restaurant in Italy is perfectly normal

never doubt the power of distance

now you can never say you didn’t try

just because you don’t speak the same language, doesn’t mean “*******” isn’t universal

sometimes sleeping next to someone who peeled your outermost layer off is the most intimate you need to be

“I’ll never see these people ever again”

have pride

ask me now what it is that I want

I have come to loathe all brown bags and black suitcases

vulnerability does not necessarily equal intimacy

remember that you pulled yourself out of the sea

your feet tread castles and cathedrals where thousands walked

art galleries are best enjoyed alone

now you understand when mom and dad don’t answer how agonizing it is

write it down if you want to forget it

acknowledge buried truths

eat paella and shnitzel and pizza and fish and chips and don’t think

go to movies at the tallest cinema

slip a little on the cobblestones

lay for hours on the beach

then

go home
be humble
remember
reminisce
teach
embrace

Glasgow – 1/8/15
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
claire
i. Here, there is sand in your mouths when you kiss. Sweat and long hair. A shared water bottle glinting in her hands. She finds a succulent plant and slices it open, drawing her finger through the clear gelatinous discharge it bleeds. She touches that finger to her cheek and glistens heavenly. You are dry heat desire and she is your oasis. You drink her with stinging eyes.

ii. In this place of neat grass and gridlocked streets, there is not much to do except make chains of wildflowers for her neck and yours. There’s no one around to hear you tell each other how you feel. You feel like a sparkler, so you say so. Like a lit match. Condensed brilliance. She holds your hand in the middle of paved suburban wasteland, squeezes it three times. You know what she’s saying. You say it back.

iii. She draws your initials in condensation clinging to subway glass, while you thunder beneath the metropolis in claustrophobic darkness. You can’t see all of her in the changing light, just fragments. Her lower lip. Her nose. Her jaw, holy. The city makes your want electric. Her mouth on the edge of a cheap coffee cup and crowds jostling the two of you together. Curry and gasoline and the sapphire smell of her hair. Adoration in alleyways and open streets. Here, you can be two girls in love and the world will not punish you for it. Here, you blow her a kiss and a bearded old man says che dio ti benedicta. Bless you.

iv. To love her in the mountains is dizzying. High altitudes and mist. Leaves caught in her hair. When you stand at a precipice and look out, she photographs you without you noticing, dilating the lens to catch the rosy burn of your cheeks above your wool scarf. She finds you painfully becoming like this. You against the violent, beautiful sky. You in love and unhidden. Her heart is thumping as fast as yours when you turn and move into her, wrapping her up as if she were some ephemeral thing, a moonbeam from a passing orbit. Together, you breathe the thin blue air.
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
lonleyflowerx
in another universe  
It's summer
Your laugh still sounds the same
and your smile is still contagious
Your favorite color is still orange
the smell of rain floods into the room
we are tangled up together
we share stories
You promise to be mine forever

in this universe
It's winter
a boy in my class has a laugh that reminds me of yours
I stopped sitting by him
I see your smile in your pictures with her
Remember when I told you my favorite color was purple?
It's not anymore  
I'm sure yours still isn't orange
It's cold all the time now
It doesn't smell like rain
I'm laying alone in the blanket you bought me
I didn't know forever only lasted 3 years
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Little Bear
Meeting you today, after all these years.
Well my heart almost stopped.
I turned the corner and there you were,
with your beautiful little family.

I was stunned, they are all so beautiful... your children.
I just needed a moment to take it all in.
And that smile you gave me...
**** I didn't think it would take me back so many years...
just like that..

It must be 18.. no.. no 19 years..
You haven't changed,
not one bit..
not to me anyway.

You stood there, holding hands... so in love.
I was... I am.. so happy for you.
My first kiss... with you...was actually so perfect.
My first kiss... with you.

But you are married and happy.
Your children have their Daddy's dimples..
And their Mummy's blue eyes.
You are all so happy.. I love that.
I truly do, with all my heart.

And so as we said our goodbyes,
you looked at me.
Just for a moment too long.
I know you thought of it too, that kiss..
And I blushed.. **** it...
After all this time, you can still do that to me.

And as you walked away,
I watched you go...
I know I might never see you again.
But I will always remember my first kiss...
with you
That and your beautiful blue eyes.
My first real kiss was with a girl, we were best friends :o)
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
am i ee
4:44 am
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
am i ee
feets of snow
building

quiet muffled walk
high red rubber boots
sinking deep into
freshly falling snow

wind whips snowflakes
swirling about
stinging bare face

a local police suv
scurries by
sign the road is passable

no other movement
bright lights all about

soft white sky
dark bare trees
sillhouetted
against encroaching
building
white backdrop

bushes bend
heavily under
boughs laden
with many many
little snowflakes
hovering on branches
together

it is a blizzard celebration!

wind dances
swirling and singing
roaring and biting

snowflakes spiraling
and dancing
so so very free
racing across
the sky and the
earth
happy to be out
happy to be free

the dark night
owned by the
ones who
live free & wild

in ever eternal delight!
 Jan 2016 Ayush B
Lexie
I wait on wings
With borrow time
Every flap
Out of line

I dance on oceans
Made of glass
Every step
To make time pass

I breathe in air
Of yesterdays
And sing the songs
No one prays
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