It is 9:52pm.
My better judgement has lost today, so I unlock my phone; typing his name in imessage.
It is 10:21pm.
I read through in silence, his messages a grim reminder of what once was.
It is 10:50pm.
Here they come, like an unwelcome guest. Hot and flowing, the tears pour and my breath quickens. No signs of soon stopping.
It is now 12:13am.
My phone lays dark on my bedside table. My gasping sobs cut through the air, muffled and pained. My sheets cover my head and entangle my body, the only comfort on nights like these.
1:45am.
Up and down. My chest rises at a slow and steady rhythm. The tears are finally dry, no longer staining my cheeks. The memory of him now slips into my dreams, like a ghost in my subconscious.

you left me, you know
see: i don't think you do
i don't think you've ever, ever realized
what you did to me

but whenever you ask
my tongue freezes up
fear clogs my throat
and i can never seem to get out
the perfectly-worded, numbered list of grievances
i laid awake composing in the dead of night,
throat raw from whispering my vindications
to myself over and
over,
waiting patiently
for situations exactly like this one