Hey look, it's the new English *****

I didn't dare look up
The same words for 2 weeks now
I only just transferred here
And already I had a nickname

I hate it

Eyes stared at me during class
Words exchanged about me
Not the kindest ones either
I was different... an outsider

Why didn't I get a nicer class..?

I was bullied
Alone
No one even referred to me by name
Just because I was from elsewhere and rumours travel fast

I hated my life... everything and everyone.

I was crying in the bathroom after school
Locked the door as tears streamed down my face
My thoughts finally got to me
I started to believe what they said

No no no no no...

I walked out wiping my eyes
No one was at school anymore
Except maybe a few teachers here and there
"Hey..."

I'm shocked... no one was supposed to be here

A boy stands in front of me
Asian, looked exhausted and he wore glasses. He smiles.
I vaguely remember him from class
He sat by the window in the back

No... please don't hurt me...

"Amber right?"
I'm confused. "Yeah... Amber [---]."
"Amber [---]... mind if I tell you something?"
"Not really... what?"

I wipe my eyes and wait for him to speak

"Don't cry alone here.
I know it's rough...
But nothing they say is true.
Besides, I find the British to be awesome."

I stare at him, dumbfounded.

"Um... Thank you..."
"Hey, no prob. It's late... you should get going."
Another smile.
"I'll walk with you if you want."

I feel really warm inside. And before I realise it, I'm smiling too*

"I'd like that."

To the girls who are secretly so broken
You WILL be alright
I know you have scars on your soul
Maybe your heart
Possibly your wrists
None of this is your fault
And even if you think it is
Let it go
Not that you can, that easily
But try
I know you are broken
I know you're not okay
Especially when people ask how you are and you answer "I'm fine"
When what you really mean is "I'm alive"
But what do you really care about your own survival anymore
Well I just want you to know
There is beauty in broken glass
And to me
There is immeasurable beauty
In broken girls
So don't you ever forget
You cannot be defined by pain
You're too beautiful for that
Stay strong, broken girl
Nothing is ever really broken

Every beginning starts in its own lovely way,
Sometimes easily, a quick slip that leads the way without any effort,
And then there's the ones that take all the patience and faith you have in your being.

But both lead to the same place.
And that's where I always get stuck.

In between here and there,
Between the start and finish,
Left without real directions
Except for the thought

Where do we go from here?

And that's as far as I get every time,
While I sit and watch the beginning fade like it never even happened.

The year has ended prosperously ..
At least for me .. I don't know about you
I accomplished most of my goals
I am glad that we got to know each other

I hope that we can find
a common ground in our book,
a single page that we both stop at and rest
For that to happen I will have to slow down
or you may speed up

I may stop and wait for you
at the next coffee shop ... "Café Je T'aime"
Hope to see you there more often
My new resolution for this year is
"to keep loving you and keep our love strong"

Wish you a Very Happy Year Anew

Am I still as important to you
As I was when the days were cold
And the nights were long?



                                                        ­                                                                 (w.n.)

Like the ocean; I am both mesmerised
and frightened by you.
more than anything; in the most beautiful
and tragic way.
You are alluring,
and wrench me,
like a ship
awaiting to
sink.
slowly
and deadly.

I hate you!
Because....
Well
I love you.