Like clockwork each day
Near the edge
Of the bay
A little old man arrives
He sits down in the grass
Watches boaters fly past
And fishers go on
With their lives

All around the people
Rush about in a hurry
Without a word or even
A stare
To a man with scarred skin
Papered over weak bone
Deep wrinkles
And snowy white hair

His name is James
Though I’m sure you don’t care
But once was a time it meant something
Somewhere
The war has been won
History left it behind
Yet it continues to play
Inside of James’ mind

I don't know when my depression started.
Maybe it was the weeks on end spent in bed,
Or maybe it was the desperate wish to sleep forever.
Maybe it was the day spent thinking I'd be better off dead,
Or maybe it was the apathy towards every part of life.
Maybe it started with the cuts on my legs,
Or maybe it started with the desire to open my veins.

It might have started with her death,
or perhaps even the burgeoning concept of mortality.
It might have begun earlier, who knows?
Maybe it was when they threw me down and took the air from my lungs.
My brain began to understand how hopeless the struggle is,
How pointless it is to try and stop it, to control your own life.

I don't know when my depression started,
But it feels like it's been with me a lifetime.
It's hard to tell when the numbness hangs around like a fog,
Never gives up, calling me towards the relief of death,
Tempts me to despair,
Telling me of the futility of life, and the guilt within.

I don't know when I began waking up each morning
Only for the sake of others
Lamenting that I had survived the night.
I don't know when death became easier than life.

But I know one thing,
I have hope.
I trust that the Lord will take me safely home.

I have watched wars waged and won,
Waged and lost.
I have died 100 deaths,
And lived 1000 lives.
I have loved and romanced,
I have fallen and cried.

Each life I live,
I live again,
And again.

Within the confines of these paperback worlds,
I have lived more truly,
More passionately.
Free of constraints and norms to censor my actions.

These hardcover entities have taught me--
Lessons more true and earnest than any parent could deliver.

I have ridden dragons, killed Voldemort, cast the evil ring into Mordor, been through Dante's Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, watched Milton's birth of the world, and seen Shakespeare deliver us thousands of new words.

O, what brave new worlds therein lie!

And all in a day's work.

All those things a man does in life,
And those a woman does, too;
I have done also.

I have done them ten thousand times over,
And done them with infinitely more passion.

I am he who lives most without leaving the house,
She for whom hours are spent, lives exhausted.

I am--
The reader.

Bless the naive heart that knows not the invention of a woman's manipulation.
For it glows in the darkness of desperation...

She's angry boys
looks like we're burning fast
"lighter noise"

There goes Larry
he was always toasty
and with that drink,
I think it's a beautiful death

Here we go
into the purse
I wonder, where she'd forget us this time
or if we'll soak up her drunken
thoughts

It's 5 am, have some mercy on your lungs!
Oh, I am the last one
struggling to stand up straight
in that crumpled pack
half awake, half dead,
swinging between sleeplessness
and drunkenness

I welcome my fate
I want to dilute in her breath
I want to kiss her with sunrise
I wish I my nicotine would mend her thoughts
I wish my filter, would cleanse
that stress
I want her to exhale cremated
bits and pieces of me
with the crisp breeze of dawn

Alas, I am burning
along with her awareness
along with her energy
she kisses me
one last time
I burn
I burned
along with
her night
Oh,
I burned

Thou didst not *******
I came of my own accord
now you tell me that you're bored
how can I improve on my sweet Lord

Thou art a ruffian - unskilled in the
art of *******, no tantric ***
more like Titanic with a hex
I always know what's coming next

Who wrote my script and said that:
I wouldst love you no matter what?
maybe it was you more likely than not
I must be thankful, pretend with what I've got

Now thou art coming again - never mind my pain
why is it that my loss has to be your gain?