By: Cedric McClester

I’m well aware
There’s little room to spare
For Obamacare
Because I can hear
What I’d like to know
Though you told me so
Is why must it go
Even so

And I understand
That it all began
Under a black man
So is that why you pan
Everything he’s done
For each and everyone
Reasons under the sun
It’s under the gun

See I am astute
It’s ready aim then shoot
You just don’t give a hoot
If 24 million get the boot
And though it is a shame
To you it’s all the same
It’s just one big game
Different player different name

And you’re not being honest
Just to say you promised
Cos’ I’m your doubting Thomas
An out of house alarmist
You choose to mox nix it
Instead you need to fix it
Don’t create another Brixit
By being complicit



















Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2017.  All rights reserved.

My feelings on the world are a complex dichotomy. If I could control the world, my rule would be to control nothing. To give freedom and agency to everyone and let every culture and kind shine as they do and **** superiority and focus on growth, not *******.

But, not all people aren't as communally minded as that. And though in theory I could change the rules, I can't change people.

In its own way, that's beautiful. The visceral strength and resiliency of humanity fascinates me, with the chaotic undertones that lie beneath every eye. I love the spectrum of pain and brilliance it brings. But it also makes a utopian world of understanding and lack of control impossible to keep people safe; because never will there be a human race that doesn't at least have some people craving absolute control.

I think this dichotomy within myself parallels my standing with humanity very well. There is something on most every end I can find fascinating: free will, selflessness, unpredictability, tenacity. But also I can never seem to be pleased with how humanity could be but never amount to.

Not that it gives me much trouble. I've always kept humanity at an arm's length, choosing books and stories over the flesh-bags in front of my face. The only thing I ever struggled with was not being normal with my human relationships, and trying to make my methods match.

My methods won't match because I might as well be an alien for all I care about directly interacting with humanity.

Yet, I love humanity, in a way. I could write about human transcendence and growth until I die. I am madly in love with human potential. But I don't love humans. I don't love a species that muscle arms its way into dominance and can be arrogant and small-minded. After all we've managed to accomplish, and we're still start wars over skin color and scapegoating? Its laughable, in a way.

I suppose I look at humanity as if I was an alien scientist. I have no way of measuring things or conducting research because I'm foreign, but I can see the greatness in their eyes and am floored by it. Yet I also see the violence in their eyes and am repelled by it. The most tragic, push and pull love of my life has been for this species.

I've learned lately I'm okay with being alien. But its strange to find a foothold in a world where I feel constantly at odds and different.

But I like strange, so I think its what works best.

Between humanity and me, things are complicated. Things are wonderful and painful and all worth the while in its own, ****** way. I suppose all I have is my words and I'll share them, and humanity can listen if it will. I hope it will. I hope it can help people who feel like aliens too, and maybe then being an alien and a human can be easier.

But for those things, we'll just have to see.

Do you ever get this feeling?
This feeling of utter disappointment?
You see all these people who are doing great things!
These people inspire you to be something more!
You want to be just like them!
Want to be able to change the world in some way!
To leave an imprint just to show that you existed!


But...


These people you look up to, they already have the spot you want so badly
They
left their imprint
They
have a meaning
They
have a purpose


You
Don’t


You want to go somewhere
You want to do something great
You want to be something great


But
you’re not


You look to your right
you see Albert Einstein developing the theory of relativity
you see Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb


You look to your left
you see Van Gogh painting the beautiful Starry Night
you see Bob Ross showing the joy of painting


You cross science off your list of things, those spots are taken
You cross art off your list, those spots are taken
You cross off writing
You cross of theater
You cross off sports
You cross off anything and everything that already has its spot taken


And what is left?


Me?
You?
The new kid at school without a desk?
The one who wants to join in and play games with the other kids, but there are already too many players?
The one who plays musical chairs, but always loses because there aren’t enough spots for her?


She just wants to find a place
She just wants to know where she fits
She just wants to find where she belongs
She just wants reassurance that she wasn’t put on this earth as mere mistake
She wants to be a part of something.


You look down upon yourself because you can’t find all the right pieces
You can’t find yourself
You can’t find your purpose or your reason


You feel that if you don’t make some kind of change, then what are you worth.


You need to remember...

The Earth is a box for the jigsaw puzzle of life.
You are a part of this 7 billion piece puzzle
You will always have a place.


You may still be struggling to find yourself,
and that’s okay.
But you will always have a place.
We will wait
When you are ready,
go on and join the puzzle

Because you have a place, just like me
You need to discover what parts of you make you... well... you
You need to figure out the detail of your piece and build off of others


Don’t you ever think that you don’t matter
Don’t you ever believe that you have no purpose
Without you
The jigsaw puzzle
will never be

complete

Nandito't nag-iisip,
Dinadama ang hanging umiihip,
Pinagngingilayan tong mga saloobin,
Mga saloobing di sinabi't inangkin.

Pagkat ayaw ko nang mabigo,
Makaramdam ng mga panibugho,
Kahit alam kong di pa 'to ang katapusan,
Ayaw ko na sa kalungkutan.

Ngunit di ko naman hawak ang lahat,
Walang kapangyarihan, di sapat,
Kaya makukuntento na lamang,
Pagkat ako'y mayroon ring pagkukulang.

Kaya heto't nagbabakasakali na lamang,
Sa mga pagkakataong minsan minsan lang,
Upang masabi ko ito sa iyo,
Ang tunay at tanging nais ko.

Nais ko na malaman mo,
Kasama ang tunay na katapatan ko,
Na ika'y mahal ko na,
Huwag ka sanang mabibigla.

Pagkat ito ang katotohanan,
Pagkat ito ang aking nararamdaman,
Ngunit alam ko naman ang tama,
Kaya naisipang naisin at hindi ipakita.