Have you ever seen
a car crash?
Would you ride
that same car
after turning back in time,
after seeing the future possibility?
Would you risk the tragedy?

You are the dream
forbidden to me—
too poignant, too peaceful—
too perfect to fall into;
but how could I dare,
dare I resist?
the only dream I’ve
ever wanted to fall into.

Certain that I don’t want to fall;
Certain that I want this.
Certain that I will fall;
Certain that I’m not fooled.
Certainly, the dream is everything;
and I’m certain everything will be ending.

Aye, it’s not enough,
but I can’t give more,
for surely I’ll lose
what started this all
—so I must let go.

I’ve seen clearer eyes than his,
but there has never been
a sharper image of myself
reflected
back at me
than I see in his.

Change
comes-in sudden, careless,
and insensitive,
without regard to anybody,
least of all me;
wreckage is all that’s
left behind
and guess who’s
stuck to clean the mess up?

Mindless, forceful,
incorrigible change,
you have no self-awareness.
You also have the worst
timing.
The best timing?
Really dumb?
Or genius?

Amongst the chaos
and confusion
of your wake,
I learn your one
redeeming quality:
serendipity, meaning,
and surprise.
Well, more than one.
And they’re not exactly
qualities.

Still, with you around,
a terrible time can turn joyous;
a seemingly unnecessary suffering
contributes to a bigger,
more beautiful story;
and a commoner
like me
has something to look forward to
in the future.
(Only sometimes.)

Therefore, even though
I beg you refrain from visiting often,
perhaps I may be able to,
at the very least, hate you less.
(No promises.)

I dream of love awakened,
Of love unconditional and unbroken
—All kinds I dreamt about—

But have I ever felt it in reality: Doused
In disappointment, I continue dreaming
—All night, all day, forever sleeping—

Of love eternal and enduring
—spared from ever waking.

When the lights
go down
and colors
burst
profound
thoughts
replace
the numbing
days