I wish I didn't **** up so much
I wish it was easier to get in touch
I wish the words were just enough
But they're hollow and meaningless
Like the "friends" and the drugs
You've been singing a different song
You don't know the words but you hum along
There's a harmony of right and wrong
Sometimes it's hard to decide which one
I don't have the voice to sing acapella
But you sing the same old songs and I'm fed up
I know I'd never be the one to step up
So I've decided I won't sing at all
Anything to go against the grain
Anything to show I'm not the same
You talk and talk
But you'll never walk
So what's the ******* point anyway?

.
Hello.
Is there anyone there?
Hello.......hello.
Can you hear me?
Mum?.......Dad?
Hello.
Let me out.
I want to come out.


The darkness is stalking me.
Creeping around my misery.
Touching my arm, pulling hairs.
In the cupboard under the stairs.


Hello.......hello.
Can anyone hear me?
Let me out.
Are you out there?
Please let me out.
Please.
I'm sorry.......
hello.......hello.......


© Pagan Paul (2016)

Trapped in a time loop
where all that happens is you
coming to me, kissing my feelings with your smile,
then crashing me
and leaving me there
with my naked hopes
hiding in the deepest grounds of my heart
again and again.

I am the prisoner of my own deathly wishes,
of the same repeating illusions,
and your voice in my head
is singing the same song on repeat
like a broken cassette
stuck in this old, rusty radio that is my mind.

I am trapped in a time loop
and all I do
is getting lost
somewhere on the paths of your soul
where my dreams get born
just so they can go to die.