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axr Sep 2014
him
His smile
His eyes
His laughter
His promises of ever after
His ambitions
Him looking at the constellations
The scratch if his unshaved face on my cheek
We knew we were physically weak
Beside each other was when we were complete
His smile in the hospital bed
As every second passed,
He was closer to his death.
"It's okay babe, I won't go anywhere"  he promised.
Our love is everything I ever wanted.
Every day he was my valentine
My strength,  my reason to smile
He maybe missing pieces
but he's still mine
I used to be my own protection
but not now
Without him, I have lost direction
I should find it soon
with our beautiful forever
axr Sep 2014
Behind that fake smile
Behind those lies
Lie the distant echoes of my cries
Behind those frequent relapses
Lie my urge to recover
now give me some poison.
I am predictable in my unpredictability
I am trying to fight my melancholy
Behind that funny girl
Lies someone who wants to watch themselves burn
The one who laugh the loudest have felt the most pain.
  Sep 2014 axr
Curtis
Writing
Is the only way
For me to stay sane
axr Sep 2014
Girl,you're pretty
Now stop starving
just to be skinny

Girl, you're beautiful
Nothing can get down
Now eat that meal till your tummy's full

Girl, your life is precious
Don't risk it like this.
Walk with your head held high
And look at the positive things

Girl, I know it's hard
Near relapses, family
and your inner war
Learn to stay strong
Ignore their taunts.

Girl, remember you're beautiful
Someday someone's going to love you
and fade all of your blues.

Girl, you're you
With your talents
and dimensions
Those models on cover pages will never be you
A reminder to girls out there who don't feel great about their bodies. I am in recovery since 7 months and I haven't felt this alive before.
axr Sep 2014
'Do you accept her as your lawfully wedded wife?'
'I do'
'Do you accept him as your lawfully wedded husband?'
'I do'
Now, pour the champagne!  
Watch the couple dance
Get drunk till no one's to be blamed
What a beautiful wedding it is!
They well spend the rest of their lives together
Beautiful forever
Shh.. We all know about their exes
Their decisions made in vain
But it's okay
They won't break a vow
or point out flaws
Let's find the profound
Dance to the blaring sound
Happy ever afters may not exist
Shh..It's time for them to kiss!
Lies on top of lies
We'll dance whilst they fight
Questioning intentions
and other confusions
Little by little
All these vows they break
Point out the flaws
which they embraced
Showing their true faces
Their souls bare naked
Struck by the pain of infidelity
Driven to insanity
Run for your lives!
Their anger has set the chapel on fire!
pretty white dress turning to  ashes
His jaw tightened
Lump in their throats
Words unspoken
Promises broken
With trembling lips he said
"I don’t love any more.
I hope you understand this.
I want a divorce. "
The bride wasn't everything the groom desired
If they loved each other
They're in a castle
with flickering candles
So yeah..its about a failed marriage
axr Sep 2014
Sometimes,
I feel I should drink my problems away
Heartbreaks
Losses
and many more to name
Warm liquid going down my throat
My lies are responsible if I choke
Screaming in my pillow
Troubling the next door widow
I am drowning in my sorrow
won't remember a thing tomorrow
I sit alone in this cemetery
With the Old monk and his friend Johnnie
In a void,
I let out a shout
I love this maze
Not long from now
I'll be a nameless grave
I sound so plaintive
yet I refuse to admit
that intoxicated me is so much better
In this situation
reality doesn't even matter
Written from an alcoholic's perspective FYI I am not an alcoholic nor I know any.
  Sep 2014 axr
Shannon Jeffery
To be what they want
Is to win a battle
To be who you are
Is to win a war
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