She's magnetic.
I am a washer,
Pulled in by her.

I am awash
With want.
She's turned me desperate,
Starved animal.

I was so forlorn
She felt guilty.
Her eyes strained to see me,
Sad sap.

I'm not in love,
I'm insane.
Possessed by some succubus.
Tapped into my carnal flaw.

How could a demon
Smell so sweet?

Harmless sin.
Blameless craving.

She carried salvation to me
In her hands.
Her mouth.
She baptized my body.

I am reborn
Wicked as ever.

Skin wet.
Eyes open.
Every nerve aching
For her.

I am made by her.
For her.

I am succumbed to her.

To her spider hands,
And her rotten mouth,
Her allure.

I am helpless to her charms,
And I'm growing weaker every day.

Then she left.

She made me
Vulnerable.

It hurt.
But she was
*To die for.

I feel like a creep.

It's been months since I kissed you,
And then you two got together,
And I swear, I'm happy for you...

But I can't help but wonder.

I wonder why
You kissed me back.
Why you held my face,
And slid on top of me.

I wonder why you kissed
Down my neck
Over and over.

It felt like hours.

I wonder why
I was so gentle.
Why your hair felt nice
On my fingertips,
And your hips felt nice
In my hands.
On my waist.

I wonder why
I tried to hold you afterwards.
Why you pushed me away,
And said we needed sleep.
I didn't get any.

I wonder why
I couldn't talk the morning after.
Why I felt so *****,
And you seemed so cold.

I wonder why
I couldn't look you in the eyes
Outside of the dark
Basement.

I wonder why
I was so mad.
Why you were dating him
And not me.

I wonder why
I felt sick
To my stomach.

I wonder why
I stopped being mad.
Why I just felt empty
And wanted to be slutty.

I wonder why
I was so worried
About you being the last person
I kissed...

But not being yours.

I wonder why
I kiss her
So gently.
Why I am so soft-lipped
When she asks for teeth.

I wonder why
I'm so shy around her
And can't look at her after.

I wonder why
I think of you.
Why her hips feel so light
In my hands
And my fingers reach for more...

They come up empty.

I swear, I am happy for you.

I swear, I am happy.

But...

*I wonder.

You were a beautiful
Fix
To an unknown problem.

You liked me so much
I had to end it.
Because we are not looking
For each other.

You want someone to love you.
I want...
Someone to fill the silence.

Maybe you're too young,
Maybe I'm too ******* bored
Of sad, beautiful girls.

Either way,
I couldn't keep kissing you
And thinking of her.

You were like
An Indiana summer:
Hot
And miserable.

I knew
I was too
Emotionally unavailable
For you.

Pretending to be jealous
When I just
Didn't give a ****
Anymore.

I was tired
Of complacency.
And you were tired
Of waiting for me
To commit.

So I ripped the band-aid off
After a month of messing with the edges.
Somehow my skin
Is still sticky.

I feel bad,
But I resent you
For being the prettiest girl
Who's ever wanted me...
And still being wrong for me.

And I resent myself
For my good intentions,
But bad timing.

You may hate it,
But I want to say that
There's no one I'd rather
Have wasted my summer with.

All my potions turn pink
Like my tongue
After too much candy.

I can't bring myself to ***** my finger,
Let the blood bubble in the mix.
I can't handle newt's anything.
I can't even balance on my broomstick.

I am a bad witch.

People are afraid of me,
But's that's mostly my lipstick shade.
My pale skin
And sharp teeth
Aren't seductive,
Or menacing.

I speak in tongues
And girls wink at me!
My hexes are beestings
I am beat.

Nothing helps rejection
Like a little hair of the dog.
Maybe cat whiskers, too.

Or apple cider,
If you can't handle
A proper witch's brew.

Spiders shy away from me,
Bats blow on by.
Cats don't cuddle up to me,
My broom can't help me fly.

And then I see her.

Hair like cobwebs,
Nails like fangs,
Candy red lipstick,
A sugar rush in my veins.

She put a spell on me.

She repressed a grin,
Barely bared her teeth,
Squinted her eyes,
Put her mouth near my cheek...

She whispered to me,

"Your hat is floppy,
Your elixirs- what rot!
Your call is sloppy
I like it a lot."

She gave me a kiss,
Turned me into a witch,
In supernatural bliss...

Now this is real magic.

I am soft-hearted,
And Sapphic.
But she is not a human girl
Anymore.

Every time I lay her to rest,
She rises
Like a phoenix.
Or a zombie.

She is soft-bodied.
Empty-headed.
Empty-hearted.

She is rotten to me.
All memory of her,
Warm woman,
Is gone now.
Her body is a dead thing.
A shell, only good for gutting.

My heart is spilling.

My insides are gooey.
They slip between other girl's hands-
Repulsive.
Hazardous.
A lost cause.

My heart is a terminal case.

Until it's replaced,
I am all robot.

Hard-bodied.
Hard-headed.
Empty-hearted.

Every girl
Who gives me the kiss-of-life
Is cursed.

I search for a shell
To put my dead into.

But she is in cahoots
With the rotted.

All I want
Is a soft-hearted girl
To lay with.

To lay me down
To rest.

To love to death.

The thought of you makes me sick.
Knowing that you're still here,
It feels like you're always at my back.
Like there's whiskey breath down my neck.

I mistake other girls for you.
Wavy dark hair,
Heavy-handed makeup,
I wonder if they regret their faces
Like I do.

In the pit
Of my stomach,
I am empty.
Feasting on whatever
Sweet nothings I can gather.

After you left me,
Hungry.
I am slow to eat,
To sleep...
With a girl
Would be to
Replace you...

I wish

I had never met you.
Every day
I am betrayed
By want.

I lust for
The best of you
And I hate
The rest.

Part of me still loves you.
And that's the part I hate.
I try to abandon her,
But she is relentless.

I reach for lipless faces
And my kisses fall, tasteless.

I look for eyes across a room,
And find my sight
Fades to black.

The crook in my nose
Cracks open.
All I smell is rust.

I cannot face you.

My face goes numb.
My skin is see-through.
People are asking me
If I'm sick.

She's a knockout.

Out of my league by far!
A short little singer
With a metal mouth.

I think about her mouth a lot.
Sometimes singing,
But mostly her mouth on mine...

Maybe it's because I want
A notch on my belt?
I joke to my friends,
"I'm not trying to date her!"

Maybe it's because
Opposites attract?
The F's on her report card
Are just one-legged A's to me!

Maybe it's because
I feel bad for being a heartbreaker?
And I know her heart
Would not be involved.

Maybe it's because
My heart wouldn't be involved?
It is currently
Unavailable.

Leave a message after the beep.

No matter what the reason is,
I want to kiss her.

I want to invite her to a sleepover,
I want to hold her hand, in public..?
No!
Hold her hip.

Walk pass the girl who
Stunted my heartbeats...?
No!

I'm tired of kissing girls
To make some ghost feel bad.
I want to kiss girls
To make me feel good.

Maybe I don't know what I want.

Maybe she's not my dream girl...
But she is a knockout.

And that's good enough for me.