I remember crying while looking at you,
begging you to not forget me.
Now look who has forgotten who;
you are barely even a memory.

I can't remember what was great,
I feel like, maybe nothing was.
I remember thinking it was fate,
now I know I was just grasping straws.

All the love I that wanted to receive,
I shouldn't have looked for in you.
Thinking I needed you was naive,
when to myself, I should've been true.

At first, I simply felt distraught,
but then I began to realize
we were never what I thought
and it's better off that we died.

Although, I do recall your insolence;
the only way I remember your voice,
"You are ******* ridiculous"
easily helped me make a choice.

It took an epiphany to see,
that you were never good to me.
I've noticed that I'm more happy,
now that you're less than a memory.

They say to fake it 'til you make it
and I'm just wonder when...
I don't think that I can take it,
despite the release of my pen.

I try to shrug off the pressures,
the stress, and the constant insanity;
I try to see life as a treasure,
but it constantly is taunting me.

I want to be the person who smiles
no matter the trouble that's tossed my way,
but all these problems make a mile
and I am too tired by the end of the day.

Barely holding my head above water,
it seems ridiculous to keep swimming.
Yet, when I think about my father,
I've got to fight, regardless of winning.

My smile may grow weary
and my feet may drag after time,
waiting to "make it", you see.
And hopefully, I don't lose my mind.

Soon I will be alone.
In my own little cave
I can hide and be regrown;
my own soul I will save.
I will seclude myself from all;
from disappointment, pain, hate
and live behind my wall,
until I've learned to appreciate.
All I want is to be happy,
but, it seems the world is all sad,
I can't help but breathe empathy,
so I am prevented from being glad.
To add to that, I am toxic,
and all I touch turns to dust
until I learn to focus,
I will continue to lose trust.
I must learn to deal with this,
then attempt the world anew.
I need to learn to channel bliss,
then I can rejoin all of you.