They say
Depression and obsession
Don't mix well.
I'll see that day.
In a way,
We scar up our hearts
Like cutting veins
And talking insane.
An insanity calamity
Of the mind.
But I sighed,
And said
"I'm fine"
Instead.
"Today was a great day"
But I'll soon be dead -
I swear -
With poison in my head.

We lay in the tide pools
And ponder over future.
Pools made from sweat
Blood
And tears
We built a sand castle
Out of our fears.
I thought I'd be safe in there,
Our little castle -
With a fortitude so great.
Maybe,
I was naive.
Maybe,
I was mistaken.
This love,
Just taken
For granted.
Abandoned.
I am the abandoned.
My castle fell,
And I have no sand
Left to fix it.
Somber,
I want to feel somber.
And be lonely,
And slightly melancholy.
Oh sweet trees
And summer breeze,
Bring my princess back to me.
Our Persian rugs
Have become tattered
And worn,
Torn - even.
Splitting,
Now scheming.
Our tide pool dries
And there is no more oasis,
Paradise.
A desert,
Deserted and accused,
My own words,
Turned to abused.
Bruised knees
From kneeling on the hard, dry ground
Staring at our building site.
I lost it,
My might,
No longer mighty.
Courage collapsing carefully over contemplation of our once gold crested contraption.
Our castle fell,
And so do my arms
In defeat.

One dimensional,
Maybe I'm one dimensional
A little misdirectional
And slightly dysfunctional.
Time to feel hypersexual
Fighting myself
Like I have a pervasive obsession
That's so sensational.
Have a story to tell
But I can't read
And plead
To bleed
The ink
That fights so deep
And jeez -
Please
Take the ease off
Puff some nicotine
The fiend
So obscene,
Pop a tab
Trip to be so free.
Psychological
Addiction,
I have these afflictions.
But there's something
That's missin'
I'm constantly accusin'
Myself,
A hell.
Some help?
No, I just fell
Into one plain
Of existence
I'm flat and submissive.
I'm occasional,
And blameable,
But most of all,
One dimensional.

When life gives you lemons, you make some cough drops.
Enough to cure ache inside
from times I've cried
I died
Inside
My head
So many times.
I have tried
To come back
And as a matter of fact,
I'm here to act
Upon the soul
In me
Who is too afraid to speak
And eat away
And put my feelings
At bay.
I wish I didn't have to feel sometimes.
I wish,
I could really be divine.
I wish,
I could dine upon
The banquet
I deserve.
Regulate me,
For once.
I want to feel normal.
I want to be ok.
I want to see the day
When I'm on top
And seize it
As if I was that way
A lot.
But no,
Things don't work out that way.
Things don't magically happen.
I struggle
And toil
And spoil myself
Like a foil
To my own protagonist.
This is a tragic story
Agonist -
And I'm the arsonist
To set my body ablaze
And that doesn't even phase
Me.
To be
Clear,
Cloud free
For once.
Just once.
Would make me happy.
And maybe,
One day I will.
If I try.

We cast our lines
And hooks
Into the sea
And wait for bites
From the many fish
But,
I never really liked
Fishing anyways

We relish in air
Of people who seem to think
It's ok go spit
Empty compliments
In sacrifice
Of meaningful sentiments -
Like a wave of self-respect
Can be forgotten
In a tide
Of fake kindness

I am the god
Of my own life -
A songbird to sing
And cling
To those who I love.
I am the author
Of my own story,
My mind is the pen
And hand
With which I write
And scribble new lines -
I am the divine.
Bless'ed be the time
Which I feel beautiful;
Amazing tis the feeling
To feel wonderful,
Incredible.
To share this feeling with others
Is an aptitude
Of a wondrous attitude.
To love yourself
Is to bury your own soul
Into your own heart.