I’d call the drinking a social thing
But lately it’s when I’m most quiet
Please jog my mind for a bell ring
But isn’t our silence most violent?
Fill another dose into the schedule
Until it becomes the next regiment
Fill the void ‘til it hurts when I’m full
Every syllable in an argument

The taste is fun and it feels sweet
It coats a nightmare with a dream
And how I think becomes a story
But pages can be torn to nothing
The future is blank with a purpose
So tell me what the hell comes next
I’ve got less worth, I’m not worthless
But getting dangerously close to it

My name was removed from the list
You left the comma, to show I’m missed
I filled the gap, when you let me in
We had to end to begin once again

Let me question these fuzzy outcomes
Something feels wrong, I can sense it
Sometimes I feel we’re closer than we are
Like a checkerboard, but on opposite ends
I thought I’d see you, but the wave is too high
Walls of water have hit my sight
I’m still swimming in my problems
If I close my eyes, will I hit the shore?

Living on borrowed time
So I’ll enjoy the view for the moment
I’d love to throw you a lie
But to be optimistic is to be hopeless

Seinfeld cast in my pocket
Characters living in the tropics
Sideshow Bob with the knowledge
Split on who I am, if I’m honest

I wish you loved yourself as much as them
You gave your heart despite the irony in all of their problems
You know their pain and still dismissed every inch of your solemn
You stored those thoughts in some column

But knowing how much us humans think
We’ll get back to that mindset with our next coming drink
I wasn’t flirting with what you thought was some well-timed wink
I’m swimming in problems, try not to sink

My God, this world is so beautiful
You held your hands out while he took his and then crushed your soul
And after every year, the weight continues to take its toll
My blood boils while he took your control

Stefan had a few questions
Wants to be taught a lesson
Never meant to disrespect
It didn’t start before it ended

Will drowned a few pills
Took to heart, “if looks could ****”
Couldn’t tell what’s heaven and hell
He just wants to be grounded still

Mike is starting to feel like
He’s picked up too many signs
Been insane, because all his brain
Wants to know is what’s on your mind

Jean had her eyes turn green
The monster in her own dreams
What comes next is a blue bruised neck
She’s single and doesn’t deserve to be

Just know I apologize for everything
That’s not just for you, that’s for me
What the hell was I even thinking?
I was on the edge to be left sinking
It’s no one’s fault, but I’m not helping
To feel hurt when you should be healthy
I’ll check my pulse by only blinking
I’ll grab the ledge before I’m left sinking

So thank you for always holding your hand out
Silence the worse that came out of my mouth
And though I’d say that I don’t deserve it
I swear you make me feel perfect
And that’s not a meter of any success
Just the reassurance of happiness
And though I know I’ll have pain again
Every worst nightmare eventually ends

Waiting by the door
Seeing who comes down the road
My mind is something no one knows
Rotten to the core

Promise me something
When we get back home from the shore
We’ll do that thing where we did more
You’ll be queen, I’ll be king

That’s how it should go
A crack in your voice when you sing
It’s funny what emotion can bring
When you sing about hope

Winter feeling
Brain needs spring cleaning
Summer heated
Can’t fall for secrets

And word travels fast
The past is the past
Kick my heart in the ***
That’s all I ask

I’m not feeling black and white
More like dark grey and cream
Hot shower, turned down lights
I’m relaxed, at least it seems

I’ve been around the world inside my head
Hope I get flyer points for all of that
Heaven can wait for when I’m dead
I’m never thinking about leaving again

A set of lungs under water hoping to get the next chance at air, a confusion that hits like a coffin and put you to sleep, an anxiety that won’t let you recover or receive any ounce of answers, I’ve told myself it’s another bout that you can wake up after, grab your head, hold your heart, and live up to your expectations. There isn’t a reason you can let this be the reason that you feel pain, ever again. I’m hoping I’ll see another sunset and this time, I don’t mean when I wake up. I mean when I’m breathing at night, hoping to make things feel right. I’m a better person. Not because I don’t feel pain anymore. Not because I’ve recovered from the scars. Mainly from knowing it’s coming, and still wanting to see another smile.

Every unwritten page wasn’t meant to be
No matter how hard you still believe
Tear the blank page half way through
And still has no effect on you
I know you’ve put your heart in this
But this outcome was always ****
Why be upset about their mind in the bad?
Never wanted that heart in the positive