I remember the ocean.
You tasted of it.

The sparrow and the crow.
Such music.

When we still had love, I'd listen to
Heartbreaking tunes and picture us

Apart.
I won.

Losing can be so ****
Beautiful.

i don't get so sad anymore, you know.
and sometimes i wish i could go back and do things better,
do things right,
but something in me knows it was supposed to end when it did.

you've changed, anyway.

i don't want to say that you're not the person i once knew,
because i'm sure that deep down, somewhere in there, you are,
but i'm a tired person,
and i lack the energy required
to dig down so deep through skin and bone
trying to find the worn out shards of a memory;
the last pieces of the first person to make me feel so terribly alive.

//

i hope you're happy.
i have always hoped that you would be happy.

but i don't get so sad anymore,
and i don't want to linger on the past.

(still i write poems about you, simply for the sake of writing).

//

every now and again,
i'll think about you,
you and everything and everyone else who shaped me.

and it's hard to believe it's been two years.

and it's hard to believe that i have grown,
but i have,
and the truth is that i don't need you anymore.

//

i don't get so sad anymore, you know.
things have gotten better.
you're gone and you don't care and i sometimes wonder if you ever did, but i'm telling you anyway that things have gotten better because i want to prove to myself that it was right to let you go,
that i needed to let you go to finally be free.

you made me feel alive in a way that tugged at my heart with a surprising aggression,
but i deserve better than that.

(a.m.)

simply put,
i want to hold you in that evanescent moment
during the formation of a thought, of an utterance;
the moment between not knowing what to say or think
and expressing it in perfect clarity.
the moment when, despite the words still being tangled up,
hidden in a fog,
the thought is still clear.
the moment when the words are forming, bubbling, exploding into life on the tip of your tongue,
but you have not yet set them free.

i want to hold you in this moment of beautiful silence,
of unspoken understanding,
of connecting through thoughts not yet complete,
and words not yet said.

a timeless instant,
a short-lived forever.

(a.m.)

My love, if you die and I don't--,
let's not give grief an even greater field.
No expanse is greater than where we live.

Dust in the wheat, sand in the deserts,
time, wandering water, the vague wind
swept us like sailing seeds.
We might not have found one another in time.

This meadow where we find ourselves,
O little infinity! we give it back.
But Love, this love has not ended:

just as it never had a birth, it has
no death: it is like a long river,
only changing lands, and changing lips.

Brown eyes as big
as my heart

I wanted you from the
very start

but I maintained
and stayed in my lane

but when you spoke
I never heard a word you were saying

You may have guessed,
I'm a mess, obsessed with love & ***

I'm a little weird
I might need a shrink

when I'm around you
I never even blink

even when my knees grow weak
that face of yours
is the only help I'll seek.