They held your hand
When you fell
On the edge of a cliff
But they didn't know
They are the one
Who pushed you

In the cold, dark
        of January,
         I remembered
              you
        the most.
  As the chill
      snapped bones
              like branches,
     as the afternoons
   bathed themselves
in gray,
     as the birds
and the backs
      shook,
so did my lips
   around your name.
I'm so happy
     January is almost
over now.

The whiny heart
That's usually on my sleeve
Has gone into hiding.
I keep it in a safe,
Underground,
In the very bottom of my stomach.
It will soon go into witness protection,
After providing insight
In the trial prosecuting my feelings for you.
I keep it safe from you,
From your ignorance, from your insensitivity,
But most of all, from the possibility that
You might just agree with me.
And I will grieve.
And It will hurt.

Late night texts
Sleepy eyes
Small smiles
Butterflies

Stolen moments
Held inside
Beating heart
Stupefied

~

Left alone
Tear filled eyes
Chapped lips
Scarred thighs

Empty promises
Cast aside
Broken heart
Terrified

~j.l.