I tied myself on to you
thought we were connected
jumped off a cliff too soon though
now I'm all conflicted
nothing caught the rope,
why didn't I test it...

two years ago I died
trying to figure out how to live
but now that i'm "alive"
I feel even more dead.

way back when
when I was cracked and bruised and struggling
consciousness never left me.

now a days
days go by without notice
noticing very little
little to be enjoyed
enjoying almost nothing
nothing remains.

now, awareness is
that long forgotten friend
showing up when it doesn't matter.

To me it's -
Your in pain, I'm in pain.
You cry, I cry.
You **** yourself because the pain is too much to bare.
I suffer wondering what I could've done because I care.
I pull my hair out thinking of what I could've done to save you,
but in the end eventually end up taking mine too

Those occurrences of intimate bliss
when your filled with so much joy and warmth
stumbling around lost in a love stricken daze,
euphoria is all that you know

And then suddenly, it happens
the shattering of the heart
broken glass everywhere,
each step becomes more painful
than the last

Even though the experience proved to be harmful
they filled you with so much elation, so much glee
that regardless of the previous agony
you eagerly seek to become lost in their warmth again

Trickling in my veins like a poison
You're toxic
Killing me slowly
Black tar thick like the love I once had for you

I'm running in a circle
Pure hatred bruises me
And I can't stop drowning.

I'm very sorry
I must have
Read the dictionary wrong

You see,
I was under the impression that

Forever meant
For the rest of time
Never ending
The rest of my life and beyond

Truth meant
Not lying
Meaning what you say
Being straight with me

Sorry meant
You feel bad
An apology
That you didn't mean it

So I apologize
For the miscommunication
I must have been
Reading the dictionary wrong

an early Sunday mist of rain
fuzzes the air
a starling flies overhead

Bleeding continuously,
Until one day
The pain wakes
In Peace.