I didn't get to class on time cause I wanted to sleep.
And I was too tired to go out to eat.
Man this has been such a long ******* week.
But the shortest and most delightful parts is when I'm asleep.

I didn't have to time study cause I needed sleep.
My presentation was half assed cause I wanted to sleep.
And every single day I nap the hours a way.
All in the good name of sleep.

It's the thing I do the most,
But also the one thing I need.
If I had to choose a from courage, a heart or a brain,
I'd ask to lay under that house that brought Dorothy.

Cause all I want and need is sleep.

I missed my date this afternoon since I was asleep.
She can't wait for me to come over so we can sleep.
We'll lay in bed alone with two heads and many dreams.
Wishing for uninterrupted sleep.  

Cause **** 8ams,
And **** alarm clocks.
The city is moving,
But I just want it to stop.

When the snow falls down and city shuts off,
Then I sleep my day away after a night of drinking slop.

I almost died last night,
I only died that night.
I filled myself to the brim with poison,
And I swear I died that night.
Stumbled around the treehouse,
I swear I had no sight.
I had all my friends worried,
That I would die that night.
So now I'm hearing stories,
the truth comes out of my plight.
How I did and said stupid things,
and how I almost died that night.
I'm sorry to burden you with my body,
I'm sorry I vomited on the floor.
I'm sorry that I layed in your bed,
Drenched in used Chipotle.
I'm sorry I called you the wrong name,
but everything about me that night was wrong.

I almost died last night,
but I'm still alive.
Throw up in my hair,
tears in my eyes.

Ran my mouth for hours,
wrote tons of ****** "poems".
Thought I was just so much better than everyone else,
but **** we're just all here.
Not going to lie,
I've changed since I last wrote.
Ya I found a girl,
but man I've just broke down.
Started to numb myself,
Can't even tell if I'm wearing a frown.
So out of it,
and I never want to be in.
I'm just so hungry,
but the last thing I want is to eat.

At least I'm cool now though.
I'm cool.
Cool.

Anchor dropped,
You hugged it tightly.
Swear you won't let go,
As you sink to the seafloor.

Don't you know,
You can't breathe from that far below?

I offer to raise the chain,
To pry you off and dry you.
But down there, words don't reach you,
You're filled with salt and cold water.

I'll smile through the waves,
Got this feeling that the current could change.

One day you'll be beached,
The waves pushing you closer and closer to shore.
I'll be there with that same smile and warm embrace,
The water trickling from ears you'll listen once again.

For now though you're still submerged,
Deny everything all you like, I know who you are girl.

Walking out from behind the tape,
I'm watched with each step I take.
They see me wear my soul on my skin,
They don't know where to begin.
Point out the faults, point out all I've done wrong,
They hate the sight of a man who should be gone  .

I walk to them with sliver platter in hand,
Serve them the ideals and beliefs I got in cans.
They eat every bite and the aftertaste fights it's way back up.
Wow, they sure do hate it but they can't get enough.
After a couple rounds of give and take,
They stand up and tip quite poorly, what do they think I make?

They demand to know how I could serve them such trash.
You call this you? You aren't  ****. Why did we even ask?
Tell me that I'm wrong, tell me that I can't be,
Stop smiling, stop loving! ****, I think they want to crucify me.
An hour later I stand out on the cross,
I'd be sad but whatever, I  served all I got.

You, yes you.
I feel so bad.
You lost the ability,
To love what you had.
Not one complaint,
You just fell away.
I feel bad for you girl,
You should have stayed.

I was great for you know,
We had it quite down.
But you ****** up,
And I don't know what to do now.
You left your master,
And got a new host.
You think he hurts as much as me, but think back to before college,
Bet he hurts you at April level at the most.  

You forget the sting,
You forget the taste.
I don't mean to scare,
But I'm so lonely in this place.
You know I have control and I'd never hurt you so,
Give yourself back to me and let our animals take over.
Let's sort out our feels through fighting, and get it all cleared away,
We'll claw and slash and bleed more for each missed day.

I know it's a new year.
I know you don't plan to be here.
But I swear I still have some space left in your mind,
The space that wonders what we could be if you gave me the time.

Got all these friends but I just want a girl.
Someone to **** someone to be my world.

But I know when the other comes one will go.
I'll be left with the latter and want the other back so.

I'm so happy right now but I never felt so alone.
Where is the special one to take me away from all I know.

I 'm not alright but having the best time.
I want to be something to someone and can't get them off my mind.

****, I know I'm not doing too great.
But is it so much to ask for a ******* date?

The most pathetic thing is though, I'll be sad when I leave.
No more times with all the girls and guys who are my family.

We were the same,
Crazy but tame.
Took nothing to numb our pain,
We ran through the rain.

But we crashed.

You now have guy,
Who gets drunk and high.
You love him and although you are losing time,
You've got this sorta mirror where you can hide.

But I know that you will crash.

Met a girl from around here,
She somewhat reminds me or you my dear.
Except, like that trash that you surely don't fear,
She been on drugs and happiness for years.

But I know that we too will crash.

See the irony? Because it's blinding me,
We split apart to find the same missing piece.
One that does all the stuff we don't allow ourselves to seize.
A guide to the fun chaotic college life that we both think we need.

But we both know we will crash together.

I'm proud to be a narcissist,
Because during times like these,
More people hates themselves,
As they get down on their knees.
Few appreciates the strength.
That comes from inside.
Many of them lie weakly down, beaten by life,
While some like me enjoy the ride.
They all predict,
The same simple idea.
That life will kick in in the ***,
And kicks harder each year.
We say **** that notion,
You gotta kick back twice as hard.
We're completely full of ourselves,
We know who we are.

This smile will not fade away,
As long as he walks the streets.
No friend nor stranger will be left astray,
Surrounded by ugly faces on bags of meat.

There is a smile in the crowd,
And I'm told it cracks eggs.
Happiest guy around,
Got that happy feet step going through his legs.

They call him crazy,
What keeps him happy all the time?
He tells them he's not lazy,
He's got a very important job and no time to whine.

He's a lighthouse, a beacon, the firework that doesn't stop.
Until he's out of sight,
And the fuse has run all out.
He breaks down and starts to rot,
Till the next day when he's back out on the clock.

Takes his job serious,
Knows what is at stake.
People need some sunshine,
But no one gives they all just take.

So he's gotta be that guy,
Needs to lead the team.
Make everyone feel high,
His problems go unseen.

Heard he was a nut,
Caught him talking to himself.
Swore he was fine,
Then bolted somewhere else.

He's a lighthouse, a beacon, the firework that doesn't stop.
Until he's out of sight,
And the fuse has run all out.
He breaks down and starts to rot,
Till the next day when he's back out on the clock.

Guess the lesson is,
He smiles for all of us.
Guy has some big problems,
But it's our happiness that's a must.

No one knows anyone else.
We've barely met ourselves.
We're so young and undeveloped,
But we think we know enough.

Nobody can see the true struggle behind a smile.
And ******* if you think you got it worse.
We are have pain and little things,
That breed beneath our skin at the source.

He has been there, She had that
Guess what, you have no idea.
I bet everyone around you has felt that way.
They just don't brag about how they feel.

You can be happy and a mess all at the same time.
You can be sad but put together all your thoughts aligned.
But no one can really know how you feel,
Who can define fake, who assigns things as real?

Look at him smile, look at her laugh,
Can't you see the light in their eyes?
You don't have a ******* clue what's going on,
Alone in their separate beds they cry.

If I could have a day alone with you,
I know exactly what I'd want to do.
Take you to my dorm and show you my room.
Let you admire my half decent street view.
We'd talk for hours and laugh away the past,
Things would be new and we wouldn't really care if it would last.
We came here for the love and we'd try are best to not take it too fast.
Filling the void we'd stitch up the gap no matter how vast.
I'd put my arms around you again,
Hold you tight to me my old close friend.
Not really sure what kind of signals you'd want to send.
I'd smile that big smile, I knew we didn't break up it was just a bend.
Sit you down on my bed I swear you aren't being used.
Wouldn't believe that we've returned after being set loose.
Now though, we would be there home together in our roost.
A spark in the fire would erupt, "Want to listen to some Muse?"

Those chicks with the freaky brains.
The girls who dig pain.
Woman that dance in rain.
Broads who I can point out and name.

They all live cooped up.
Like to stay in their tree house.
So I find myself in there.
Looking for the rat among the mouse.

Plenty of them there.
Love the short hair.
Get lost into their violent stares.
I have a type, who cares?

I get inside the tower next door.
They all look at me intrigued.
Some want to ****.
Others just want me for the money.

I show them that I can tame.
Invite them to play a game.
It all feels the same.
Back in the tree house again.

Busy people passing me by,
Some decide to talk, some stare and watch.
Others give me numbers and say they'll call.
Out there every night office hours ranging from 7 to 3
Find me with my cat named "*****" or on my bench surrounded by trees.
Just that guy out there practicing,
Look forward to the fresh air and fresh faces everyday.
Surprising everyone each night with their own name,
While they excuse themselves for forgetting mine.

Those school nights so calm,
Not a car in the city.
The occasional smoker will join us.
Those weekend nights so busy,
Everyone smiling having a good time.
An assortment of drunks and degenerates crowd us.
But no matter what night it is,
Get the chance to have the unique pleasure,
Of experiencing heartbreak again and again.

Making all these friends,
Like to think that it out weighs,
Any lost sleep or  internal pain.
But every night ends the same.
Back to my bed with a smile,
And a head full of names.

Two headed snake,
Different venoms.
One will bite the other and they will both die.

Who strikes first?
Whose fangs hurts more?
Why even wonder, they'll both expire.

Patterns on them,
Change and clash,
But I predict the older half is the wickeder of the two.

Strike down the young,
Shed away the dead weight.
A deserted bag of hollow skin awaits a new tenet.

What a story to be,
To return to an old husk,
Make myself home again and settle before dusk.

An easy bet to win,
Is to side with the decay of time.

I know you'll melt away,
But the clock is equally harsh to me.

For it makes me wait,
Day by weeks by months.

Till the day I collect my winnings,
The day you crumble beneath the clock.

Tick tock,
Decay away.
Sad to see it's right more than twice a day,
Cause we all fade away.

Chemicals,
In my head,
Make me happy.
That's what they,
Seem to think.

I do not,
Understand,
Why they can't,
Just be happy.
I'll take lead.

I believe,
That they are,
Far from right.
No science,
It's pure will.

Willpower,
Let's call it.
We all have,
Some in us,
Focus it.

Create life,
Make your own,
Happiness.
It's easy.
Follow me.

I can teach,
You the ways.
You'll smile,
Everyday.
Start right now.

"I'm very happy with him, I really am."

Oh I've heard that one before,
Honestly you saying that is just foreshadowing,
The first knocks on the door.

Last time you told me that,
You left your mate in months.
Always slipping away you little rat.

Don't you find it odd,
That you don't consider him a true friend?
You and I were best ones remember, or you may have forgot.

I just think to the look in your eyes,
When we walked our separate ways.
Even if you sunk them deep your feelings can't hide.

I know you want to play.

You know what?

I'm better because I'm crazy.
Isn't that simple to see?
You'll never get that same psychotic grin,
That you always get from me.
Remember the look in my eyes,
The blood and the tears?
All those ****** up times,
We've shared throughout the years?
Those violent encounters,
With our other sides.
Pinned you to the bed and sunk teeth in deep,
I hope you know that was never a lie.
It must be apparent that I'd love to rip you to shreds,
In that old loving way.
The fun we'd have again,
The things we'd do if I had you back for a day.
Guess I can't help myself,
I really need to get my fix.
Been to long without screams and pain,
Followed with a tender kiss.
My bed is never made,
I sleep different every night.
Guess I'll just look for someone new,
Until then I write.

Understand?
Great.

We're bonding after losing you,
We both really care.
We know you've a rough time,
And want you to know we're there.
Our love for you may be dormant,
But it can still wake up.
Ring the bell, and call us to arms,
Your back is what we've got.
We've seen you twist and change,
Into all these shapes.
You don't need to create forms for us,
We'll take you and soothe your hate.  
We love you,
We'll never really stop.
Me and her know you too well,
Or is that something you forgot?

I can't wait for you to be thrown away.
I can't wait to see the look on your face.
I can't wait to see you replaced.
I can't wait, I can't wait.

I can't wait until they all turn on you.
I can't wait until they find someone new.
I can't wait until there is nothing for you to do.
I can't wait, I can't wait.

I can't wait until you're just like your old friend.
I can't wait until this all comes to an end.
I can't wait to know I told you so then.
I can't wait, I can't wait.

I can't wait until you're all alone.
I can't wait until no one is home.
I can't wait to turn off my phone.
I can't wait, I can't wait.

A stranger passed me by today,
Smile on his face and kindness in his eyes.
He looked directly at me with that familiar look,
I think I used to know that guy.

He waved to me and said hello as he walked by,
I gave him a slight nod and exhaled a "hi" in return.
Kept trying to avoid his eyes, but he just couldn't keep them to himself,
When will this guy ever learn?

Can't he see I've changed and I'm happy where I am?
None of what we had is there anymore.
You aren't anything to me so stop acknowledging me,
When will you leave me alone?

Your only purpose in my life was to be a mistake,
A road I took my time crossing but crossed none the less.
You've gone from everything to nothing in a matter of seconds,
When I see your face in the crowd I cringe, give it a rest.

I am so far away from you now,
Abandon our old hopes and dreams of us.
I've changed into something new and better, can't you see that?
I don't need you anymore, blow away with the dust.

So when I see you,
Be grateful for that nod.
You are a stranger now, you're nothing to me,
Don't call me love, you've been cut off.

Had a girl, everything was great.
Got me into ***** **** I'm sure some can relate.

Then one day she left and claimed everything we had was gone,
Broke my heart to know I was so wrong.

She'll move on to her future living it out and forgetting the past.
But I know that I've made at least one impression that will last.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Poor little girl, she just couldn't handle it anymore,
Flinched and cried out at everything, I'm disappointed in my mohawked *****.

Maybe she scared herself how much she liked being abused,
I only did it for her I swear, I didn't even know that pain and love for me had fused.

But she's gone now and I can't drag her away,
A room all to myself and she doesn't want to play.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Oh love, you know better than anyone else what goes on behind these eyes.
Whenever you're around I just can't look away you, I stare at what was once mine.

She couldn't match my stride and I left her behind,
Didn't even try to catch up she made up her mind.

And it's sad to see her fall so far,
Became something she didn't want to be at all.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Nothing has happened but everything has changed,
Today was easier than I planned.
Lay in bed with my studies, music cheering me on,
I've dropped the crutches, I wanted to stand.  

Keep making friends, keep jamming in names,
Remembering jokes and information day by day.
Always smiling and being friendly,
Never being too tired to play.

Fool all my friends to think that I'm cool,
Waving to people while playing bass late at night.
They offer me all kinds of things,
Guess I'm just not about that life.

Eye contact with strangers,
I've got that bounce in my step.
8 AMs, whatever man,
Don't want to dull my optimistic rep.

People ask what I'm on,
Question how I can believe.
I turn to them and simply answer,
"I really like to breathe."

Soft voices and sweet dreams,
A small bed for one team.
Hot nights on the skyline,
Holding on to each other for dear life.

She made us a family in her head,
Named the kids, found a house, and started paying the rent.
There is a fire in our eyes,
A desire to burn that no one can deny.

We have our rings, we have are vows,
We've never been better than we're now.
Two smiles and then one kiss,
"I found the love that I knew I'd miss."

Two beautiful hazels, locked with a pair of black holes,
An unlikely couple by the looks of it but what do any of them know?
We had it all and knew that to be true,
I just couldn't get enough of you.

We lay arm and arm together in ease,
Be it in the bed in the sky or under shaded tree.
I refuse to look down, we are headed straight forward, full steam ahead.  
All these thoughts relived looking back at all we said.

Guess what,
You're reading this right now love.
You don't really care,
You're just curious.
Don't worry I get it.

But why are you here though,
What right do you have?
You left me broken and alone,
Yet you still hang on for my words.
Maybe I never actually left your head.

How does this make you feel?
You always liked to check on your exs.
I changed my name,
And you followed me here.
But since I have you, why not look around?

Will you dare to read a love poem,
The ones that proves that this last year was real.
All those words inspired by your promises.
Or are those thoughts amputated,
Trying to rid yourself of this disease.

What did they tell you?
That I was manipulating you do to what I want?
I did everything for you.
Let me take you back.
Think of the good times, they didn't have to end.  

Guess what I know?
I know your afraid of me.
I love that, it's so cute.
So why not play with fire some more?
After all we still have a world to burn.

I keep writing all this sad ****,
About how I love and want and feel.
But every time I finish one,
I feel so ******* pathetic.

So now I'm all mad,
And  I want to write something to the effect of,
*******, you ******* ***** liar you built us to ******* crash.
But then I'm like "That doesn't rhyme..."

You know what though, I don't care.
She ****** up and I can't do anything to help the situation.
I'm powerless here, I can't apologize for **** cause it's all on her.
So what the **** am I supposed to do.

I keep telling myself wait it out,
She'll come back when she is good and ready.
Good and ready with what though?
The ******* *** of thirty ******* guys dripping from between her legs?

I just don't get it.
Can't I at least have a thorough explanation of why you have to make me feel like complete **** instead of,
"It just kinda happened."
It just kinda happened that you could throw away every ******* promise you made and everything we ******* shared?

It makes me sick really.
Cause guess what?
After letting all this anger out in this ******* therapeutic rant,
Now I'm... ******* sad.

You fell apart,
While I held you tightly to my chest.
Slowly fading,
The lights start to dim.
I'm losing sight of my girl.

Said she just couldn't,
Mind changed she didn't believe in the one.
My heart sinks,
And then those thoughts sneak in,
Sad and confused, I missed the green line.

She fell away so easy,
How could I still hold on?
Miles below sea she still pulls me.
Stuck in her wake I want to get out of here,
Why can't I rise?

I have this drug that I'm on all the time.
An addiction so lethal but I feel just fine.
It's long and drawn out I know the signs.
Couldn't stop if I wanted to so I don't even try.

Doesn't matter if I'm alone or with friends.
When I inhale my thoughts seem to transcend.
All that is broken inside seems to mend.
A sigh and smile a day closer to the end.

When I feel low I walk out the back door.
Take a moment to adjust myself before I take any more.
I inhale with happiness that reaches my core.
How is everyone not on this live so sore?

My friends look at me oddly though they have vices too.
The kryptonite I take only slowly kills you.
They ask if I'm okay and offer me things that are new.
I always decline for there is only one thing I do.

Oxygen is it's name.
I breathe it every day  just the same.
I smile and laugh and enjoy life's love and pain.
If I breathe and smile a good day has been obtained.

Saw you in a picture today,
And I realized,
I ******* love you.

You've walked away,
And I'll give you time,
Because I ******* love you.

Maybe you got bored,
Or you just can't commit,
But I ******* love you.

Never needed anyone,
And definitely not now,
Still though I ******* love you.

Got all these little thoughts,
Crowed in my mind,
Screaming "I ******* love you".

**** that.

You have no control,
But you're the only one to blame,
I ******* loved you.

Soon I'll get to see you,
Once or twice a week,
I ******* loved you.

Hope you learn to regret,
This mistake,
I ******* loved you.

I meant every,
Word I said,
Like, "I ******* love you".

How can I love,
Someone drenched in betrayal?
I ******* loved you.

****, I don't know,
I guess...
You...

****.

It's done,
Over.
Everything we had,
Gone.
So how can I smile?

Maybe it's optimism,
"Faith",
That flies are always drawn to one thing,
Fire,
And my flame still burns bright enough.

Or perhaps I already have what I need,
Memories.  
You'll always be as perfect as you were then,
Changes,
Aren't so retroactive in there.

You're an interesting piece of this puzzle of,
People,
Longing to be fitted with a piece as visibly,
Colorful.
But love your next to me and I am part of the blue sky.

Our portion is what makes this puzzle,
Harmonious.
Don't force anything just let it,
Flow,
So we both have a reason to smile.

Started with a bang,
Ended when you rang.
That call that night,
That gentle shove out of sight.
All is fair in love and war,
She left me looking for more.
I stole you from your past,
To only now be put in last.
She'll **** her theripist,
Until he gets ******.
And then she too will feel the crash,
Tossed aside broken in the trash.
And I can't decide how I feel,
Think about you day and night as if you're real.
Out of sight and out of mind you don't exisit,
But then why do I still crave your kiss?
How could I ever take you back,
You've erased us and cut the slack.
Nothing was wrong you just couldn't decide,
I'd love to forgive but I'd hate to lie.
You know I'll see you on the streets,
You know how much I'd love to drag you back to my sheets.
I stole you once I'll return to the scene of the crime,
I know all you want is time.
To hate is weak and to love is to be strong,
Never the less you are ******* wrong.
And I can't decide how I feel,
So I won't decide I'll just spin the wheel.

Racking my brains,
I lack all my past pain,
Which inspired me to write.
But I've won all my fights.
I've spent a year loving you,
With nothing in return.
Endless amounts of what ifs,
The embers you had left on me,
Began to burn.

You fed my fire with small twigs,
And I'd do anything for more.
The fire rose up but I contained it,
Didn't want it burning anyone.
But then you started throwing branches,
And then you threw logs.
You uprooted the trees,
That kept you alive,
And burned them to prolong your withdrawal.

My fire roared,
Your heart soared,
And we both knew what to do,
We uprooted you.
Diving into my fire,
We started our new little game,
Burn high, bright and forever,
Become an eternal flame.
And we burned.

We burned all people who had doubt,
We burned anything that got in our way.
We laughed at the thought of anyone else,
No one can douse our flame.
You've forged me with your intense yearning,
We showed to the world our burning.
Our flame isn't going out,
And for all I care let there be a drought.
You are the only thing I need.

Fire born from desire,
Love that broke the chains.
Lips that could drive a man mad,
An endless maze of a brain.
Yet she let me in,
And I'll never figure her out.
But I'm here laying with her,
Both of us covered in burns,
Still on fire with the flame that'll never go out.

February fifth,
RIP.
Rest an old hero,
Taught me many things I know.
Never explained in short word,
Unless it was goodbye.
Told me he loved his handsome grandson,
And let himself die.
Complicated beyond fixing,
Didn't stand a chance,
Once so fit and healthy,
Took a seat for his mid life dance.
Known throughout the world,
He had many friends,
Could get us in the places once we arrived,
With a whisper and a grin.
Announced to his whole plane,
That his grandson was born,
They all cheered my name,
Toasted to a new horn.
And now you are gone,
I look at you laying there,
Smiley sweet as if laughing,
That so many people cared.
I went up to the open casket,
And there I cried,
Rest In Peace Papa,
That was are final goodbye.

Oh Valentine,
Sweet blushing bride.
I never can call you mine,
Not in this lifetime.
Taken away,
Never had a chance to stay.
One day you'll pay,
Maybe when you walk away in May.
You were my love,
Clearly sent from above.
My pierced and stained dove,
I fear it is me who has had enough.
She crept into my life,
Bearing her claws and holding a knife.
Took me to great heights,
In the dead of winter's nights.
Hasn't moved on,
Can't see the light of dawn.
She'll write all her sad songs,
Not knowing if she can even last too long.
Yet I wrap my arms around her,
Love my disease and my cure.
Keep close my beautiful saboteur,
And drink her bittersweet liquor.

Wake up kiddo,
Please take a seat.
Preferably in the back,
Where you were conceived.

I ****** your mom so hard,
Half in anger and half in love.
She couldn't seem to pick a side,
Now she smiles on us from above.

Sacrificed it all,
To bring you into this world.
And I can understand why,
You're such a beautiful girl.

I hated her for leaving,
I loved her for wanting to stay.
I hated the way she was forced to choose me,
So many others left astray.

You really are a gift,
She looked just like you.
Stunning, small, and smart,
I loved her too.

A fault turned blessing,
But a curse in disguise.
You took away the love of my life,
Replaced her and stole my eyes.

Hand and hand I'll raise you,
With no one else in this home.
My little beautiful baby girl,
Us alone in this starving world.

Give me a reason,
To follow you to nowhere.
Find me an excuse,
To even begin to care.
You can right me off as problem,
But I'll always linger somewhere.
A discarded memory,
Life in absence of air.

Try to hold me close,
Know that I will have my escape.
Smile about it now,
Cause you know soon it'll be too late.
Avoiding the ordinary,
Seeming to follow your desolate fate.
Thinking of everything that relates to nothing,
Tiptoeing through cracked gates.

Running from you,
Seems to be all too real.
Breaking away,
From the golden deal.
Ruined your life and tainted your soul,
Still wanting to see how I make you feel.
Holding my collection of jars filled with air,
My newfound addiction is loving what I steal.

Here I vanish never to come back,
Waiting for the counterattack.

We had a circus,
Freaks and animals alike.
Who will lose control?

The mice,
The mice ride elephants.
Look how they laugh.

No stay away,
Mice don't like kisses.
I like kisses but they get scared.

Did you try the lemonade?
It was some ******* good lemonade.
Did you enjoy it?

Mr. Camel,
Mr. Camel is awfully mean.
No one likes Mr. Camel.

Are we going home?
Is our vacation over?
I hurt.

I want more.
Let's visit the circus again.
Did you try the lemonade?

Eyes in the dark,
Diamonds in the coal,
Look at her face,
Please touch but don't hold.
Her life a disaster,
Constantly being ripped and torn.
A twisted little angel,
Bound to serve her home.
Everything is wrong,
No one has a light.
It's so dark in here,
You don't have the right!
How dare you even try,
To beat your saving grace.
Think you're so big and strong,
Beating on that pretty face?

I will take her in,
Shelter her from your dark embrace.
I love that darkened angel,
You're a disgrace.

I don't get birds.

They fly in Vs,
Squawk their needs,
Bother the rich,
Bother the poor,
Looking for nourishment,
Swear they aren't ******.

I don't get birds.

Seem to follow me,
Looking for something,
They will never find.
Stupid birds,
Don't waste your time,
Fly away.

I don't get birds.

Birds mess with your head,
Call out your friends,
Wish you were dead,
Because of all the ****** birds.
You can shoo and say ****,
But it will take more then that.

I don't get birds.

You **** one,
But more come.
Oncoming waves of self destruction,
Where's the fun?
Stop your pestering,
I don't understand any of you.

I don't get birds.

Resolution,
An answer.
A new year,
A new cancer.

Don't want to change,
Just want to add,
All those things,
I wish I had.

Not looking around,
My life is too cluttered.
Done wasting time,
On every single ******.

Realized that I despise most people and most words,
Everyone's thoughts so irrelevant, I just want her.    

Can make no sense to everyone,
Not supposed to please your mind.
My life style so carless and reckless,
All I can do is smile.

Is there something wrong with me?
I'm sure there is.
Doesn't matter much though,
The doctors wouldn't know where to begin.

Resolution,
A question.
Stop signs,
Are but suggestions.

Please dear stranger help me out.
I will ****, steal, lie, and beg.
Please dear stranger I have no doubt,
Cut off my ******* leg.

I can't walk away from the pain,
That was manifested inside of me.  
Only drugs and knifes to stab and drain,
Will help me be at peace.

Locked inside my favorite room,
Without the ability to do much.
I'm just sitting here hating you,
And that crap I had for lunch.

O goodie it's pill time,
Better limp my way on up.
My wound is crying slime,
I think it's about to erupt.

Spews blood makes it rain,
Can't feel my leg,
But I know it's in pain.
Please please cut it off I beg.

Cut off my ******* leg.

Did you happen to see that?
***** got hit by a truck.
She's lies on the side of road,
****** and knocked out.
Cautiously I approached,
In fear she would wake up.
Took a bite of her neck,
And deiced that was enough.

Tried to find my way home,
But my thoughts only brought me to her.
Went back to ground zero,
For just another look.
Still there she lay,
Now with her rot and decay.
Surely shes lonely,
I'll invite her to my house.

When I asked she said nothing,
Yet she winced her right eye.
Good enough for me I thought,
As I threw her over my shoulder and cried.
What a pretty girl,
Look how she bleeds.
Not much of talker,
But she's all I need.

Sat her down at my table,
Got her and I a drink.
Two glasses of orange juice,
"How lucky am I" I couldn't help to think.
Growing hungry I asked "What shall we eat?"
There was that wince again, but I swear she whispered "Me."
Jumped over the table, mounted her on the floor,
I tore the flesh off my sweetheart with bloodstained teeth.

Her organs still warm,
Her blood a nice cold contrast.
The frenzy went on.
Till I had nothing left.
A puddle of blood on my floor,
Staining my carpet and heart.
She was a good girl,
Too bad we had to part.

It must be nice,
Having someone to look forward to.
A friend to call your own.
Daydreams of perfect afternoons.
You and your friend in a blanket cocoon.

I have I no such visions,
For I have no one to call my own,
Only hoping to catch table scraps.
My moods are seasons at high speeds,
For each change I undertake I require new needs.

I can't even recall such a time,
When I looked forward to someone who is mine.
But still I can't help but to feel fine.
Guess I don't mind the melancholy,
Suits me I find.