They tell me things can mean more things,
And those things are a greater metaphor to things,
Which symbolically amount to things beyond my knowledge.

Take the number 138.
A number found in my scale.
Usually between an odd and an even,
Never greater then 140.

To me,
It means home.
My own space where I reside.
Where I have for quite sometime.

To others it means love,
In an odd puzzle way.
1 syllable each,
3 words,
8 letters total.
I love you.

69 poems ago,
Is another example.
A simple number,
Can mean so much more.
Like everything can have a greater meaning.

They tell me things can mean more things,
And those things are a greater metaphor to things,
Which symbolically amount to things beyond my knowledge.

Sixty-nine,
A number,
Of love.
But how can,
It mean the same,
Of that of a dove?
A number,
Is a number,
A bird is a bird,
Yet they are,
The same,
But not the same word.
How could each,
Mean love anyway?
Is love a disguised pigeon,
Or a number,
For play?
No, I might not,
Know what love is.
But I know it's more,
Then an answer,
On my math quiz.

How can you hate with a smile?
Looking into their eyes all the while.
Yet you claim to despise,
The presence of him.

Makes me sick,
That you would twist,
Your own arms,
Just so you can see over the crowd.

Afraid you'll get too hot standing up alone?
Not aware that not everyone is a fan of your moan?
****** me off,
How you all hate.

Now abate.
Or don't feel at all.

Test test,
Do your best,
Forced to school,
To pass the test.

Test test,
Our school is the best,
Give us money now,
We beat the rest.

Test test,
Students never rest,
Killed them with anxiety,
They cried in distress.

Test test,
You all left the nest,
So you could pass,
Everyone of those pointless tests.

Test test,
What a mess.
Kids that don't pass?
We'll give' em ISS.

Test test,
Got it East to West,
From the CAT to the MCAS,
There is no rest.

Test test,
What a pest.
They're never happy,
Until we all have failed the test.

You contact me out of nowhere,
Looking for conversation.
Is your buddy not around?
Do you use me as a replacement?

I suppose I should be grateful,
For being your second choice.
But Dad never cared for slivers,
And neither do I.

Can't put on the shelf,
What you almost got.
Can't brag about what you never had,
There is a reason tears aren't bronze.

Because sliver is even more sad.

You run the whole relay,
To trip and twist your ankle.
You climb the highest mountain,
To slip and die.
You're out in the night for hours hiding,
To find out that no one even tried.

My dreams won't leave me alone,
Sheets bind and blind as I am tortured in my own home.

Images are whips that slash into my mind,
Blood corrupts good dreams to the twisted fabrication that distort time.

Dreams will always keep me hoping that I will find them true,
They will never cease reminding me that I love you.

I have this drug that I'm on all the time.
An addiction so lethal but I feel just fine.
It's long and drawn out I know the signs.
Couldn't stop if I wanted to so I don't even try.

Doesn't matter if I'm alone or with friends.
When I inhale my thoughts seem to transcend.
All that is broken inside seems to mend.
A sigh and smile a day closer to the end.

When I feel low I walk out the back door.
Take a moment to adjust myself before I take any more.
I inhale with happiness that reaches my core.
How is everyone not on this live so sore?

My friends look at me oddly though they have vices too.
The kryptonite I take only slowly kills you.
They ask if I'm okay and offer me things that are new.
I always decline for there is only one thing I do.

Oxygen is it's name.
I breathe it every day  just the same.
I smile and laugh and enjoy life's love and pain.
If I breathe and smile a good day has been obtained.

I want to find my Alaskan Sunrise.
Her appearance rare but burned into memory.
Whose warmth begins a new era in time.
Doesn't last long but neither does high tide.
Her beauty is an Alaskan Sunrise.
Burns away evils of the past.
Replacing my thoughts with a warmth that will last.
The light at the end of the month,
Tunnels of darkness a tricky labyrinth.
But I will find that Alaskan Sunrise,
All in good time,
As I wait out the dark,
Dreams of her warmth,
Warms the hollow tree's bark.
My Alaskan Sunrise will melt the dark ice cold,
Erase the old,
Replace with gold,
Hell, I'm already sold.
Alaskan Sunrise,
All in good time.

Ran my mouth for hours,
wrote tons of ****** "poems".
Thought I was just so much better than everyone else,
but **** we're just all here.
Not going to lie,
I've changed since I last wrote.
Ya I found a girl,
but man I've just broke down.
Started to numb myself,
Can't even tell if I'm wearing a frown.
So out of it,
and I never want to be in.
I'm just so hungry,
but the last thing I want is to eat.

At least I'm cool now though.
I'm cool.
Cool.

He's selling,
His story,
For fame and glory.
Letting everyone in,
As his soul pours out.
How can you let then unknown,
Sweep into the darkest part,
Of your heart?
I'd call you a sell out,
But your only spreading the word.
I'd ask for you to shut up,
But you should never take the wings off a bird.
Maybe your just so real now that you appear to be fake,
Specking so calculated,
Singing to be heard,
It makes me mad somehow,
Isn't that absurd?

I am the same way you know,
But of course you know that.
You look up to me as inspiration,
When I am really just a disgusting damp bat.
Reclusive and in hiding,
I hate to show I care.
I could have gone with you to that place,
If I wanted to share.
I rather lock my feelings up,
And scream in a sound proof garage,
Then to share my close thoughts to strangers,
Who don't know who we are.
I don't want fans,
I just want to cool down.
Writing and living,
Making my own sound.
My own secret,
For my very few to enjoy.
Because no one wants to be aware,
That I am just an innocent boy.

If sharing is caring,
Then I guess I don't care for myself at all.

At your side,
Rely on me.
Attack on your command,
Just tied to a tree.
Cut the rope,
Release me.
Allow myself to show you,
All that I can be.

At your side,
Lay there next to me.
Happiness reformed,
Molded from a dream.
A hope, a goal,
I shot I thought I missed.
Yet you stand there humming,
Thinking of what you did.

At your side,
Until you dismiss me with goodbye.
Telling me to leave while the adults talk,
I'll be there soon but not quick enough.
Calm shell so hollow with rage,
Screaming out my lungs in a plead to leave this cage.
My mind might think, my body might act,
But I'm relaxed at your side until you tell me to attack.

At your side,
Lied to myself to smile.
I'll leave at some point,
The door has been open for quite a while...

We had a circus,
Freaks and animals alike.
Who will lose control?

The mice,
The mice ride elephants.
Look how they laugh.

No stay away,
Mice don't like kisses.
I like kisses but they get scared.

Did you try the lemonade?
It was some ******* good lemonade.
Did you enjoy it?

Mr. Camel,
Mr. Camel is awfully mean.
No one likes Mr. Camel.

Are we going home?
Is our vacation over?
I hurt.

I want more.
Let's visit the circus again.
Did you try the lemonade?

Wake up kiddo,
Please take a seat.
Preferably in the back,
Where you were conceived.

I ****** your mom so hard,
Half in anger and half in love.
She couldn't seem to pick a side,
Now she smiles on us from above.

Sacrificed it all,
To bring you into this world.
And I can understand why,
You're such a beautiful girl.

I hated her for leaving,
I loved her for wanting to stay.
I hated the way she was forced to choose me,
So many others left astray.

You really are a gift,
She looked just like you.
Stunning, small, and smart,
I loved her too.

A fault turned blessing,
But a curse in disguise.
You took away the love of my life,
Replaced her and stole my eyes.

Hand and hand I'll raise you,
With no one else in this home.
My little beautiful baby girl,
Us alone in this starving world.

Trying to reach the stars,
Rising rising and yet,
I am stopped by invisible bars.

Landlocked alone,
Clouds like curtains cut me off,
Chained to my home.

I see you and all of your grace,
Floating above the clouds,
Somewhere far out in space.

I fly forward with all my might,
Trying my best to get to,
This amazing sight.

But then the air stops me,
Holds me back from,
That which I need.

I push forward and forward till I begin to bleed.  
Can't break the barrier,
So I fall to the Earth as a seed.

Know what I want,
I want what I need,
But something blocks me from that which I see.

Another day goes by on the beaches of Dubai,
And I'm sitting here drinking my tea.

No explosions or death,
Erosion not theft.
Just enjoying my days on the beaches of Dubai.

Planes over head,
My head filling with dread,
As the bombs begin to drop from the sky.

Now we all need to say,
Goodbye to the beaches of Dubai.

Bombed for our oil,
Exterminated for our pride.
We now say goodbye to Dubai.

Big American men,
Dressed in gold suits and ties.
They will always deny.

Their seeing off the land tonight,
Can't wait to get their prize,
That big old slice of oil flavored pie.

And they will never learn to share.

Now we all need to say,
Goodbye to the beaches of Dubai.

A stranger passed me by today,
Smile on his face and kindness in his eyes.
He looked directly at me with that familiar look,
I think I used to know that guy.

He waved to me and said hello as he walked by,
I gave him a slight nod and exhaled a "hi" in return.
Kept trying to avoid his eyes, but he just couldn't keep them to himself,
When will this guy ever learn?

Can't he see I've changed and I'm happy where I am?
None of what we had is there anymore.
You aren't anything to me so stop acknowledging me,
When will you leave me alone?

Your only purpose in my life was to be a mistake,
A road I took my time crossing but crossed none the less.
You've gone from everything to nothing in a matter of seconds,
When I see your face in the crowd I cringe, give it a rest.

I am so far away from you now,
Abandon our old hopes and dreams of us.
I've changed into something new and better, can't you see that?
I don't need you anymore, blow away with the dust.

So when I see you,
Be grateful for that nod.
You are a stranger now, you're nothing to me,
Don't call me love, you've been cut off.

I go down the rows,
I see the prizes behind glass.
Can't even take them out,
All I have to do is ask.

Mom always told me,
Don't touch what's not yours.
So I glace,
Though cracked doors.

I want, I want, I want,
The prizes taunt, taunt, and taunt.

All I need to do,
Is break the glass.
Risk ruining the prize,
For a bit of ***.

Looks so perfect,
Kept behind walls.
Would it answer me,
If I gave it a call?

Had a girl, everything was great.
Got me into ***** **** I'm sure some can relate.

Then one day she left and claimed everything we had was gone,
Broke my heart to know I was so wrong.

She'll move on to her future living it out and forgetting the past.
But I know that I've made at least one impression that will last.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Poor little girl, she just couldn't handle it anymore,
Flinched and cried out at everything, I'm disappointed in my mohawked *****.

Maybe she scared herself how much she liked being abused,
I only did it for her I swear, I didn't even know that pain and love for me had fused.

But she's gone now and I can't drag her away,
A room all to myself and she doesn't want to play.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Oh love, you know better than anyone else what goes on behind these eyes.
Whenever you're around I just can't look away you, I stare at what was once mine.

She couldn't match my stride and I left her behind,
Didn't even try to catch up she made up her mind.

And it's sad to see her fall so far,
Became something she didn't want to be at all.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

My bird and I sit waiting,
A whole back and forth of debating.
He wants out,
He wants to fly.
Poor bird doesn't know,
Fresh air will make him cry.

Hey bird, why not pick at your feed?
I gave you crumbs since you said please.
He starves himself,
But he will always deny.
That ******* bird,
Seems so satisfied.

Listen to me bird! You'll like what I give you.
I know it's not much but it's all I can do!
He is not happy,
Sits swinging sadly sedated!
EAT, BIRD...
You know the feed is dated.

Goodbye bird, you did the better thing.
Might have starved to death but now you can feed the king.

***** in black,
Wants her money back.
***** in black,
With a killer rack.
***** in black,
Put the knife in your back.

Why do you come here?
Why pretend to be hungry?
Why plague this place?
Why did you **** me?

***** in black,
Died in Iraq.
***** in black,
Called the attack.
***** in black,
Had the sweetest smack.

Why did you poison my mind?
Why did you start the war?
Why would you say those things?
Why are you a *****?

***** in black,
Alone with no pack...

I can't seem to understand,
The human's mind and it's demands.
How some can block everything out,
Put on their blinders and remove all doubt.

She doesn't seem to get it,
The pain which she imbedded.
Suffering thrown around,
Blanketed by her words, her sounds.

Wasn't I who suffered the blow,
But two good friends I've come to know.
Cheated, betrayed, hurt, ignored,
Left them both hanging when she got bored.  

She didn't think it through,
Kept changing her mind about who is that "you".
The one, the only, the star of the show,
The front man of the circus who makes all the dough.

She doesn't know the crime that she committed,
Blinders on, the truth is hidden.
Just out of view, although it's still there,
Her fans left the crowd which was news she just couldn't bare.

I started the war,
Which tore up the land,
But some else dropped the bomb,
They took on the plan.

Thought to be unjust,
Our teacher was evil.
Now only kindness in his heart,
Will show on his highlight reel.

Can't believe he is gone,
Taught me his trade.
Never thought he'd leave,
Am I to blame?

There was a time,
Yes mouths ago,
Where I despised the man,
That I now have come to know.

Taught me hard lessons,
Strong like my dad.
May have been the greatest teacher,
I've ever had.

But now the man cries,
Can't look into the eyes,
That I used to despise,
Now all untrue, lies.

Hard to not hate,
The one had pushed it.
Righteous and number one,
Knew he wouldn't get hit.

But tempers fly,
And what comes up comes down.
Lost a good teacher,
Best instructor around.

Motivated me to new heights,
I am a better person since you were in my life.
Taught me all the things I know,
Taught a seed how to grow.

Two brothers,
Should be same.
But one is crazy,
And one is sane.

From the same parents,
Raised in the same home.
The only change to be found,
Is that one is two years old.

For those who blindly follow,
Science and rules. Why in one case is 1 + 1 = 2,
And in the another case,
It's 32?

Not a holy man,
Never said that to be true.
But my blood brother,
Is less like me, and more like you.

I was thrown in prison,
I walked out just fine.
Now there he goes after me,
I hope he makes good of his time.

Two brothers,
Should be same.
But one is crazy,
And one is sane.

Fire,
Burn,
Burn thoughts away.

Can't,
Have you,
Enjoy your stay.

So go,
Go,
Away.

Don't,
Come back,
To play.

Let me,
Enjoy,
Today.

Burn,
The pain,
Away.

Away,
Away,
No more of these days.

The fire,
Burns everything,
Away.

When is my time?
I've been waiting for the chance.
When will I shine,
Stop this foolish dance.

I'm being devoured by small insects,
Picking away at my every sense.
I can't touch, hear, taste, or smell,
Only left feeling like Hell.

An able body but not for the army,
A voice that doesn't need to be heard.
An antisocial edgy ******,
Who wants what he doesn't deserve.

Ever buried yourself with the full intention to get back up,
Then on cue you realize that you have had enough?
Too much **** but no clean water to wash it down,
Left you treading slowly in the Merrimack trying to drown.

Knowing what I want,
And knowing what I can get.
I'd run away right now,
If I didn't feel in your debt.

Don't save us,
Lets fall down.

I've got that anxiety man,
Faces all around me seem to sag and frown.
Preacher man tells me to look at the sky not ground.
But I want to give the bugs the curusty of eye contact as I walk over them.
Why is their life so simple and mine so unsure?
Bet bugs don't even love they just **** and crawl on.

**** man, I hate all these eyes.
Tip toeing after me like the headlining band.
Not waiting to begin ******* as I head on my way in.
All the clocks say ten but the sun screams it's dawn.
Why aren't I in ******* bed right now...
Can someone shut that bird up!?

When I lay in my bed,
Alone in the dark,
You enter my head.

Questions raise,
But every time,
The answer sinks so much lower.

I can't help it,
By the simple gesture of pushing me into traffic.
That most call life.

I was but a small child,
In physical,
And state of mind.

Did it bother you?
Maybe, maybe not,
Seeing that you went right to it.

I am hypnotized,
I want to snap out.
Desensitized to the thought of us.

Then after,
No words.
Hurt.

I tried to reach you,
But you turned the other way.
Are you not sure, or am I just not welcome to stay?

So I see you around,
From time to time,
And what do I do?

I invent my excuses,
And stay away from you.
But unfortunately(?)

This is not goodbye.

Everything I once thought was everything,
I have forgot.
All the feelings which I once felt,
Have left.
All the good times which lit my life,
I now drown in them in a kiddie pool.

Not with sadness,
Nor pleasure is there.
I have no feels for the past,
I no longer care.

A new light has entered,
I will catch it.
Better times have been had,
I will have more.
Nothing has been replaced with everything,
And once again I am whole.

Not with sadness,
But pleasure is there.
I have feelings for her,
I now care.

Waiting,
So patient,
Mind,
Complacent,
Wondering,
If I,
Should get,
The ball.

Threw it,
Down court,
For it,
Had burnt,
My hands.
They,
Held on,
Too long.

Where is,
The pass?
I,
Threw it last.
Why aren't you,
There,
Throwing back,
Our ball?

Can you,
Not share,
Or,
Don't you care?
Can we not,
Play,
This game,
For long?

I want,
The game to go,
So,
Don't say no.
Let's both be,
Happy,
Pass the ball back,
So we can have one.

"I'm very happy with him, I really am."

Oh I've heard that one before,
Honestly you saying that is just foreshadowing,
The first knocks on the door.

Last time you told me that,
You left your mate in months.
Always slipping away you little rat.

Don't you find it odd,
That you don't consider him a true friend?
You and I were best ones remember, or you may have forgot.

I just think to the look in your eyes,
When we walked our separate ways.
Even if you sunk them deep your feelings can't hide.

I know you want to play.

Locked in the dark,
Dressed in fear,
Looks like Death,
Smells like a beer.

Chambers loaded,
Prisoners in cells.
Ready to die?
Do you hear the bells?

Fire out each one,
Into the man's chest.
Please smile when you do,
Give the man my best.

Chambers invented,
To hold them in.
Just to be released,
Into the wind.

Flying through the air,
Flying like they're free.
All a lie,
They follow straight line called destiny.

They will be nothing more,
Then killers in capture.
Kept inside the chambers,
Until comes the rapture.

A charming *** toy,
That is all I am to you.
One who will still stay close,
And ******* too.

A charming *** toy,
With good looks and scary eyes.
I'll pleasure you for hours,
But love, I will always deny.

A charming *** toy,
To make you hurt like you do to others.
I'll make you beg for forgiveness,
For touching me under the covers.

A charming *** toy,
For when you feel alone.
Wishing someone would make you pay,
When you don't want to leave your home.

A charming *** toy,
What if you fell for me?
How could it possibly work,
When I will never be there for you like he.

A charming *** toy,
Only I can say no.
Though ******* you my little slave,
Is the only thing I know.

A charming *** toy,
Why should I even feel?
An unemotional psychopath like me,
Should just enjoy the meal.

Burning,
It's cleansing,
Almost transcending,
When you feel your flesh burning.

Yes it hurts,
But that pain makes me smile.
Everything else is better,
When you are on fire.  

You grunt and moan,
Cursing the feeling.
With your layers of skin blistered,
All the evil peeling.

Best of all,
In case you forget,
You'll get a skin tattoo,
A beauty I bet.

When all is done,
A thought flickers in my head.
Maybe I should,
Burn myself again.

After all everyone knows,
It's easiest to clean with fire.
Burn away all the evil,
Rid this place of it for miles.

Why not jump in there too,
Aren't you evil as well?
So rid us of you,
Don't worry about the smell.

An easy bet to win,
Is to side with the decay of time.

I know you'll melt away,
But the clock is equally harsh to me.

For it makes me wait,
Day by weeks by months.

Till the day I collect my winnings,
The day you crumble beneath the clock.

Tick tock,
Decay away.
Sad to see it's right more than twice a day,
Cause we all fade away.

"Come home."
Home?
The home where I once lived?
Where the days were good though the nights were bad,
And dawn and dusk were equally sad?
Home?
Was I loved there or just a regent on rent,
Who only over stayed his welcome due to the owner's consent?  
Home?
Where the heart lies is home.
But what if the heart goes where no one knows?
Is the heart still at home?
Or will it come back after show?
She cries, "Come home!"
Though I ran off,
With my tux in a loincloth.
Abandoning the warm soup with it's cold broth.
But leaving there infected by her cough.
I coughed the whole way to the motel.

You know what?

I'm better because I'm crazy.
Isn't that simple to see?
You'll never get that same psychotic grin,
That you always get from me.
Remember the look in my eyes,
The blood and the tears?
All those ****** up times,
We've shared throughout the years?
Those violent encounters,
With our other sides.
Pinned you to the bed and sunk teeth in deep,
I hope you know that was never a lie.
It must be apparent that I'd love to rip you to shreds,
In that old loving way.
The fun we'd have again,
The things we'd do if I had you back for a day.
Guess I can't help myself,
I really need to get my fix.
Been to long without screams and pain,
Followed with a tender kiss.
My bed is never made,
I sleep different every night.
Guess I'll just look for someone new,
Until then I write.

Understand?
Great.

Cool breeze,
Release me.
My mind,
Has been so busy.
I've been talking to shadows,
They always have something unheard of to say.
Lip syncing the unimaginable tongue,
Surprises roll out like soldiers,
Armed ready for war.
Taking me on laps,
Over and over again.
But every time,
I never want the lap to end.
Now I feel that cool breeze,
Coming round.
Makes you think,
Why safe and sound?
More like,
Are you happy,
Now that you're living in a box,
Protecting yourself with all your chains and locks?
Now through the keyhole,
The breeze kisses your face.
Best feeling of relief,
When you're locked in a cage.
Somewhere out there,
You know now,
There is a escape.

Printer sits in space,
Someone hit print to much.
Copies of people spew out,
True people loose touch.

Put on your North Face,
Slip on your UGGs.
Flirt with every ******* person,
Make fun of what you call bugs.

Coolest kid right?
Makes fun of those he doesn't get.
Threatens with violent words,
He'll get his way I bet.

A copy of a copy,
Popular in a house of mirrors.
Showing feelings isn't cool,
Mock the pioneers.  

Hate those copies,
Want them erased.
I'll go and break the printer,
That produces them in space.

Staying cool,
In my corner,
Away from it all,
In my corner.
Playing with myself,
In the corner.

Forced myself here,
Trapped in a space.
Walls collapsing,
Staying in one place,
Never moving,
Such disgrace.

Can't believe,
I got myself here,
Purposely so I,
Could grow a beard.
Can't tell me to shave it,
Cause no one is near.

Alone with,
My half empty glasses.
Drank the good half,
Along with the masses.
Now we all sit divided,
In our own sanctioned classes.

Staying cool,
In my corner,
Away from it all,
In my corner.
Playing with myself,
In the corner.

Perception is quite deceptive,
As hollow eyes view us all.
Judged on a single detail,
Drive-by at the mall.
So stare back to the attacker,
Tell them to fall.

I open my mouth,
To scare the tourists away.
Don't need admirers,
Getting in my way.
For I have a picture pinned to my corner,
Which keeps my eyes at bay.

Lost in chances of happiness,
I call out your name.
Attracting a hoard of others,
Who want to play my game.
Two players only!
This seat is for my friend not so sane.

But like me...same.

We were the same,
Crazy but tame.
Took nothing to numb our pain,
We ran through the rain.

But we crashed.

You now have guy,
Who gets drunk and high.
You love him and although you are losing time,
You've got this sorta mirror where you can hide.

But I know that you will crash.

Met a girl from around here,
She somewhat reminds me or you my dear.
Except, like that trash that you surely don't fear,
She been on drugs and happiness for years.

But I know that we too will crash.

See the irony? Because it's blinding me,
We split apart to find the same missing piece.
One that does all the stuff we don't allow ourselves to seize.
A guide to the fun chaotic college life that we both think we need.

But we both know we will crash together.

Drove half an hour,
To get to your home.
Waited for you to get back,
My nerves had begun to show.

How would your family like me?
Was your dad an ***?
Would it be awkward out of school?
Who would move fast?

Went on inside,
Father was very kind,
Sister was like you,
All of us out of our minds!

Played with your rats,
Even cleaned their cage.
Laughed the whole time with you,
Not even a year apart in age.

Relaxed on the couch,
My hands rested on your thighs.
Held you in my arms,
You are just the right size.

Called weird phone numbers,
Laughed the day away.
Listened to your record player,
To hear what Billy Idol had to say.

Sister called me a punk rocker,
Said I looked like a Ramone.
You said it was a complement,
I didn't feel so alone.

Made fun of my accent,
But liked the way I talked.
Looked so nice out,
We all went for a walk.

Trespassed onto a country club,
We chilled at one of the holes.
Goofed off for an hour,
Before we ran from the patrol.

Journeyed through the woods,
To get back home.
Thorn bushes cut up my right arm,
And got my hair quite combed.

Made it to an abandoned car,
She and I took a break.
Sat there in the car and laughed,
Until the end of the date.

My family had arrived,
And we went inside for my stuff.
A hug goodbye,
Would have been enough.

But you surprised me,
And grabbed onto my shoulders.
Leaned in for a kiss,
And she got what she asked for.

Grinning ear to ear,
I left with a "Goodbye".
Walked to the car,
Knowing I wanted her to be mine.

Resting on my cross,
Moss crawling it's way up.
Interrupt, crows break the silence.
Ever since my mouth has become sown shut.

That image of the woman,
Has been stuck inside my head,
Dread, that sudden realization,
Migration impossible I am tied to a cross.

Around me is grain,
Pain of blandest stings my eyes.
Sunrise is coming,
Running to me she smiles.

Fixing my coat she picks at the straw,
Caww caww, she mocks the crows.
Oh that smile warms me,
Please stay here.

All done now she leaves with a hug,
Tug on my cross I want to wrap my arms around her.
Brrrr winter's breeze blows by,
Goodbye sunrise.

Night falls upon my space,
Taste, the crows all swarm me for salty tears,
Years of torture the crows pick me apart,
No heart, no courage, no brain.

Just the pain of the cross.

Sunday morning,
No work back in the day.
A day off for all,
For religion they say.

Sunday morning,
Better be up by eight,
Got a long day at the factory,
Gonna be back some time late.

Sunday morning,
Kids rushed to church.
Better pray for their savior,
A life a damnation would just be the worst.

Sunday morning,
Restless kids can't wait.
Candy in eggs everywhere,
Know not the meaning of the date.

Sunday morning,
Another day promised to the lord.
No working or business,
A break for the savior's hoard.

Sunday morning,
Just like all the rest.
Past promises broken,
Has heaven been booking rooms for less?

Sunday morning,
Said he died on the cross.
His followers say they are with him,
But they are all lost.

Walking out from behind the tape,
I'm watched with each step I take.
They see me wear my soul on my skin,
They don't know where to begin.
Point out the faults, point out all I've done wrong,
They hate the sight of a man who should be gone  .

I walk to them with sliver platter in hand,
Serve them the ideals and beliefs I got in cans.
They eat every bite and the aftertaste fights it's way back up.
Wow, they sure do hate it but they can't get enough.
After a couple rounds of give and take,
They stand up and tip quite poorly, what do they think I make?

They demand to know how I could serve them such trash.
You call this you? You aren't  ****. Why did we even ask?
Tell me that I'm wrong, tell me that I can't be,
Stop smiling, stop loving! ****, I think they want to crucify me.
An hour later I stand out on the cross,
I'd be sad but whatever, I  served all I got.