Release your soul to the sky above

Hither
Haste
Hither
Haste

The snake in the grass eats the silver lined dove

Slither
Waste
Slither
*Waste

A pen is the bridge between denial and self acceptance.

It stalks us each day, wanting to consume
Wishing to take us, having
A hold,
A grip,
To take us to that place of
Fear,
Horror,
Sweats,
We may fight it, struggle
But it is like hunger,
We may fight it, but it will win every time.
For some it is
Happiness,
Release,
Relaxation,
It is that which takes us all
Like death, but temporary
It consumes half our life
This cousin of death,
Not eternal but called sleep.

Do we pull or push
Side to side
Which is the right way
To go in life.
Can we  always take the right path
Dealt a rough road ,which life Is but
Wrong ways,
Pit falls,
Hitting every stone
One step forward, three to the side
Never a straight road
Life is a journey
We must take the good with the bad.

My body a curse I wish to be
Like the wind never ending,
Almost eternal, they have tasted eons
Been around breathed past
The important times
When the air burned and extinction
Sea,
Air,
Land,
Even the wind pushed away burnt.
It has seen so much in its travels
Of a never ending turning world,
Civilisations,
Begin,
Flourish,
Decay,
Aba­ndoned,
To the winds of time
So many have come and gone,
But the wind carries on
It has no a gender,
it just carries on, seeing ever thing
Past,
Present,
Future,
For when we are but dust on the ground,
It will carry on touching everything.
Through time, I wish to be apart of
But I am just a body cursed,
But my ashes once gone, left to drift in the winds
I will be apart of a never-ending cycle
The wind touches everything
They will never stop just carry on.

August

One foot forward, I said
And she listened, gingerly taking her first step
I held onto her shoulders as she marched
Forward unto revival

You'll be back in no time
Were the last words I spoke to her
And upon her farewell
I wept tears of hope
And loss

- *September -

I remember hearing car doors close shut
On the days where I sat
Atop my window sill
And I would peak out
From behind my curtains
With wishful thinking

And I remember the sting of pain
When it was someone else
So I would let the curtains close
Like the end of so many
Epic plays
And the audience would not applaud

- October -

I made a little girl cry
On Halloween
I sat in wait
Forgetting the significance
Of costumes
And sugary give outs
Remembering only the taste
Of something much sweeter
But it had been months

The knock on the door
Was like the beating in my chest
And I sprang up in some
Newfound excited hopefulness
But I had let myself down
And the little girl at my door
Dressed like a dinosaur
Was no match for the beast
Inside of myself

GO HOME!
They all heard me
Parents and antsy children alike
Who walked by in search of joy
And the stares were unbearable
The little girl who cried
Never saw that my eyes matched hers
As she fled into the night

I sat with my back against the door
And cried until the waves of exhaustion
Took me away

- November -

Only the night would get me
Out of bed
Many times I found myself walking
Along some unfamiliar road
Winding through darkness
Like the twists and turns in my mind

Sometimes I ran
Like I was being chased
And the cool air of the night
Would fill my lungs
And when I was tired
I continued running

Emotions had been all but drained
And the feeling of loss
Was replaced with
Emptiness
Nothing
Void
0

But somewhere
Pressed underneath folds of carelessness
Was an inkling of hope
A spark of optimism
That kept me alive

- December -

I remember the funeral
Where along with my only love
Was buried my soul
My spirit
And my heart

I was asked to speak of her
And her family bade me luck

When all was silent
And the ears
Longing for closure
Were tuned to my presence
I opened my mouth
And said nothing

No one had noticed the blood
Dripping from my wrists
But they all saw
Abigail's collapse

My head swung forward
Smashing into the podium
I remember being sideways
As blurs rose to block out
What little visions remained

And then I asked one thing
In my stupor

Is she better now?

- January* -

The two who gave me life
Made me stay inside my room
Because I tried to take what was mine

I would sit atop my window sill
Knees pulled tightly to my chest
And I would stare outside
Watching for the red hair
Waiting for the car to pull up
And her to get out and stretch her legs

She would look up and see me
Her eyes would tear, and she would
Run inside to me

I would kiss her and never let her go
But instead, it's all the same
People come and go
Friends visit
Seasons change
And the world moves on without her
Without me

People are stupid,
People are dumb
'tis world is a cage
How far will you run?.

People are you,
People are someone
'tis world's a mirror
Are you holdin' a gun?.

Chasin' the bullets,
Are you gettin' numb?
'tis world is a circus,
When you're the strange one.

And so many whispers,
To count your scars
Ghosts are just people
Who have no heart.

Fed to the winds,
Those conquer these walls
Free-will is an illusion
That infects one and all.

People are slaves,
people are king
A deaf mute bird,
Who got no wings.

People are outside,
People are within  
So many flavours
But the same skin.

Cuttin' through edges,
Finding a way in
People are a temple,
A crowd of sin.

And so many screams,
To shout your wager
'tis world's a carnival
When you're a stranger.  

To wither in ashes,
Of an army of people
A needle's poison,
That keeps goin' deeper.


People are stupid,
People are dumb
'tis world is a cage
How far will you run?.

People are you,
People are someone
'tis world's a mirror
Are you holdin' a gun?.

Chasin' the bullets,
Are you gettin' numb?
'tis world is a circus,
When you're the strange one.