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Mary-Eliz Apr 2018
my soul was trapped
inside
her soul

her pain was part of me

I clutched it
like a tiny bird

I couldn't set it free

~~

when I let myself
become
all that I could be

she breathed a sigh
the bird took flight

now she's a part of me
When my mother died - she was too young to die and though I had left the nest and had young children of my own, I was still too young to be an "orphan" (my dad had died 3 years before). My depression became worse - I hadn't yet "broken completely" so I didn't even realize it, I guess, so hadn't reached out for help. When I did crash and had to seek help, and found out I was bipolar, I realized I wasn't to "blame" for how I was; that I was more than the frenetic,  dark, worthless  person I considered myself; and most of all that there was help. Things started to change. It is a long road, better managed now. In looking back, I'm convinced that my mother was a very depressed person but never had sought help. .
I'm trying to capture that in this simple poem. I hope I have.
Mary-Eliz Apr 2018
Awakened
I sense a presence

a brilliant star
in a black eternal sky

hovering

elusive
ethereal
=================
sometimes
in the night
we feel her

she is the fog

drifting in

drifting out

just a breath away

a part of life
the other side

in those darkest
stillest hours
that hushed time
between
the worlds of dark
and light

she's just above
just around
twirling
flitting
changing partners

================
May I have this dance?

she takes a hand
and leads the soul
onto the dance floor
where it pirouettes

freely

separate from its fleshly burden
soft and circling

she smiles  
all is well

once more she has a partner

I sleep again
my soul intact
having not yet
learned the dance
Old one...A re-write/renamed.
  Apr 2018 Mary-Eliz
The uniVerse
How fragile the butterfly
as it dances in the sky
trying to find its way home
to a place not carved of stone
soon all this will be dust
so it asks what's all the fuss?
what is all the fighting for?
silly soldiers and their wars
silly man and his laws
the only law is mother nature
for no man can escape her
she who birthed us all
she who waits when we fall
for how the mighty will crumble
as the fools they do stumble
upon the stolen hands of time
each of them suffering for their crimes
and yet the butterfly it worries not
for all that it is, is all that it's got
beauty set upon wings
it's beauty that truly sings.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk1RtKqFrqu/
  Apr 2018 Mary-Eliz
liz
if god is a woman
then i'd love to crawl inside
her womb and feel regeneration
feel the cosmos sparkle
in the sweat between her thighs
know what it is to taste creation
is this blasphemy? indecent?

if i am a woman then
why can i not love the power
she has gifted my body
in the marrow of my bones
layered gently in my curves
her names multiply
between these two lips and
i'd love to hear her whisper-

how very much the world needs her
patient, fiercely love-filled
vocal cords that sing our memories
into existence; her hair is
the curtains dividing the seas
of night & nature & the blood in us all

she weeps when we spill it
every ruby drop is falling from her lips
we break her bones when
we dig into the earth, ****
her precious body and destroy
the bounty that she's given us
but still does she love us?

she is more than mother,
than lover and artist,
fire-haired horizons and
opal eyes that span the skies

i love her with everything i have
is she listening to us now?
she makes me nervous,
how she sits naked in the heart
pregnant with our destinies
endlessly listening to our songs
of pain & lust & death's grinning hatred
and quiet, she is still in my soul.
diosa mío
Mary-Eliz Apr 2018
seeds of poetry
seek
fruitful soil

its fruits

hungering hearts
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