hadn't left bed much of the day
til i swept dust into corners
dishes piled in a neat stack, *****
but a veneer of togetherness
yet lingered in the smell of soap.
a sick day, i took it unwillingly
laid prone in the sheets
til salt dried crinkled on my face;
birds gathered at my window
twittering at me to feel the sun.
the bed was a sea, i drifted
far away til sunlight was weak
and soon rain washed birdsong
out of my ears again.
the ache deadened with every
rush of windswept water.
at an obscene hour i stumbled
not really awake but full of need
into the mess of ordered day,
to-do lists calling like bluejays.
each footstep an afterthought,
each crash of thunder a warning.
days once were brash, beautiful
i kept pace with birdsong
barely in bed but to **** or sleep
and rain grew the roots of joy.
somewhere still i swirl about
salt in pockets and fresh faced.
10 de febrero 2020
krule jangles in the speaker
a songbird sits pretty in my chest
so i crack grins, side-stepping the cat
to swish thru the sun soaked living room
until the skies darken
find me throwing salt into corners
a dust bunny feast, serenaded
by the joy bursting out my fingers
a pan simmers in the kitchen
but i grab the cat and whirl around
shade may sweep itself in
still i'll dance as dinner finishes
02 february 2020
dum surfer, culinary delights
do not wear my words
as flattery, even if you should
find them addressed to you.
they are the reverberations
of our combined power.
sit on the ground,
and look up.
something about the way i tilt my chin
gaze at me, a glance could tell all:
how i wish to be the breeze
curling itself across the earth, a dance
almost as beautiful as your hair
i caught myself swaying
hips caught in the breeze of my body
blossoming like verses in my favorite playlist
stack song upon song
building a life out of lyrics, hopeful
for feelings to be untangled
& laid out like treasures cherished
i think of us in the early hours
when sleep eludes & eloquence abounds
mind making up magic and misery
and salt smears love on my cheeks
it may be that i'm too sentimental
but as the breeze in my body
braids itself into a beautiful home
i feel ever more certain
beauty is measured in bass lines
and the colors of your face
backlit by love & sunlight
05 december '19
my anxieties lie
a rope along sharp collarbones
weak-kneed i tremble
such lies that graft themselves
onto skin becoming
part of pain pleasure passion
and weak-kneed i watch
myself cut clarity into my eyes
til overrun i am again
shoulders hitched up in a maze
of thoughts like glass
translucently false and yet
these lies slide across my bones
like a pretty knife
deceptive, sheathed & fatal still
01 dec 2019
ask where the anxieties lie in your physical body, in your collective imagining... what must be addressed? what if the span of body brain and soul is the home address to a whole host of anxieties unmentionable?
if there ever was a time
apt for carrying prayer in palms
like a ward against worries,
then find me filling my fingers
with words measured out.
i'll concoct a safety net against
skin, finally safe in my body.
it feels somehow silly
counting out loud to remember
each sensation buried along palm lines;
shaping words against the shadows
lining up to haunt my sleep
is the only way i know to hold myself.
sometimes speech clears away sadness.
silly as it seems,
safety nets of whispered words
carried in palms promise peace.
i hold the prayers like a favorite stone
a ward against worry, warm against skin.
27 november 2019
wearing worries like body paint,
i scrub at my face with
fingers twitching. i want to be held
linked and locked down
with love this time, not *******.
each twinge in my sternum
reminds me how unsafe i really am,
living lavish in a daydream-
watching butterflies while dollars fly-
but faces make me face fears sometimes.
i would hate to lose sight of this one,
a little glimpse of heaven in
freckles by the thousands;
racking up riches in joy
despite all the bills & bad dreams piling.
it seems a mistake to measure life
by love, living in a world bent on
material successes & managing debt
but i guess i can give into gratitude
coz its price is peacefulness.
04 oct 2019
anxieties amidst blessings