Silent on the dusty carpet, holding my head in my hands that shake.
Twisted limbs on the floor; uncomfortable of course, but feeling like I don't deserve the luxury of comfort.
I listen to the sounds of my music merging with all my violent thoughts...
All singing along to the evil that pulses through my veins that have stained my past for to long.
The mistakes I made when innocent and young; forgotten they should be, but vivid they are.
The future a buried thought, as I try to process the words that I fling from my mind.
Alone and finally afraid...
'Why did it take me so long to feel the fear of my thoughts...?'
Its cold outside, and its cold in my heart.
Yet the world is burning, a glimpses at my fate...
I breath in deeply, trying to understand why I cry with never any tears.
'Am I broken inside...?'
Well I guess we all are a little within this world...
Final after spilling my heart into words that you are now reading, I slowly shift my back straight.
And untangle my limbs to stretch.
I still feel numb...
'I suppose it just make me appreciate the joys in life more...?'
I'm not okay I say to your eyes that read this now.
But say that I hope I will be soon.
I dust my pants and stand again.
Put my smile on, and continue on with my day...

*'I will one day be okay...'

You were stolen from this cruel world in a flash.
And I was left standing there for years.
I never took a step,
I never took a breath.
I never moved, waiting for your return.
Everyday, was like drowning; as you were my air.
I said no words, as thoughts swarmed my broken mind.
Day become night, as I waited for you.
Till I finally realised you were gone.
Ready to give up, and leave to the other world.
About to take that step through the light.
Stopped by a hand.
Stopped by a voice.
Stopped by you.
As I saw your eyes in the stars of night.
And heard your whispers in the breeze.

'Never have I left, never have you gone. Never shall the world feel wrong.'

Then I opened my eyes....
And looked up to your face...

Nothing more then a dream....

The wind was hollowing, as I passed your heart.
For the night was dim, and we were lost in the dark.

I screamed for a savoir, for your souls to remain.
But you took a final breath; letting go of all pain.

Small smile on your cracked lips; ranting once about forgotten love.
Well now your lost, and I remember you above.

I can't remember what the time was, when the moon feel to catch your shell.
I can only remember how I violently fell.

The colour that was once your ambiance glow.
Now buried under six feet of rotting snow.

Every night when the wind screams.
I wake in fear, wishing for it to all be a tortuous dream...

But never dose the haze of your blood, lift from my sight.
Never do I seem to find the clarity of the ending light.

I lost you so long ago, when we were merely just drowning in each other's love.
And not a day has gone by, when I've pleaded to meet you again, high above....

Do you think the moon
loves the sun,
anymore,
than his thousand
mistresses of stars?

It's getting late; the sun is about to set.
The sky indicates with an explosion of orange, white, yellow within a framework of blue.
I have many thoughts that swim in the hollowness of my mind.
The things of past, present and soon to be known future.
I have been a silent petal within a meadow of flowers during the only known part of my life.
My voice, only just heard in the form of soft and violent verses.
Till now I had yet to find my tongue that held a million words.
Till now I have only understood that it shall take the years to come.
Till my concluding breath is to discover all million words.

It's getting late, and I have much to learn.
The world remains in harmonious rotation with the sun.
One single memory, to be memorialised in my brain.
The sun has almost completely sunk to the earth that I am yet to see.
As I watch its last drops of life embrace at the wax coated leaf’s.
Night is near - and along will follow day.

It's getting late, with the glow-worms of the streets awakening.
Casting an ambient light on the wings of silver moths.
Swarming for guidance that shall never lead them to a home of unity.

It's getting late, with the wheels of the bus turning beneath my aching feet.
And the rush of blinding headlights cutting the dark abyss that threatens to consume humanity.
My eyes search beyond cooling glass, for a familiar sight to be seen.
For the cluster of buildings and vines and slow moving roads to once more engrossed in my vision.
And for the scent of mud dirtied water to stimulate my nostrils once more.

It’s getting late, with the hurt for home setting in.
The barrenness of family spoiling my independency.

It’s getting late; the sun has finally set behind the foreign place I leave.
Taking its art from the wall; now vacant for an artist of the night to clam.
With my heart in motion to feel the touch of family that is situated in the small of a town far from here.
My brain sorting through many things I have locked away for long enough.

It's getting late; my life from now shall never be the same.
The present now past; the once future now present.
All the while the time of life never missing a tick nor tock.

It's getting late; and I have finally accepted the person I am.
As I travel back to my home from a short time away; to prepare for the unknown.
To try and understand the future that has been approaching for the length of my life’s thread.

It’s getting late; an artist of night has now claimed the wall, arranging stars so effortlessly to shine upon all.
And I have finally gathered an understanding about the life that is seen as myself...

The violent whispering steps of the girl that walks the moon, and swims among the stars.
Shall forever be the lullaby that sings me to my curtain closing sleep.
Before I hear my own steps echo through the abyss of the unknown universe...