"Never cry when the sun sets…be glad to wake up to a fresh new day tomorrow.”
*–Marian

Oh, how subtle a smile.
A gentle trace of what was once;
inside she is dying.

People just don't realize
Adults do sometimes lie
She's making a point to ruin my life
So might as well go and die
My daddy's with her
She manipulates my friends
Oh **** I hate this
It's all happening again
More treatment
No dad
More yelling
From mom
More "why?"s to answer
But they always say I'm wrong.
I'm a bad person
That's why
Everyone I love leaves
Whatever
You can try
But I'm trying to succeed
I'm sick of this ****
Bout to give up
But wait a minute
I'll show them
I'll have a better life than them in the end

mine are messed up
mine are hypocrites
mom answers too many personals and gets laid by strangers
dad stopped caring when he got another kid
dad bellows at me over stupid ****
mom don't want to talk to me
mom leaves her rules written in notes all over the house for me.
mom is never home to help me with homework
dad is too busy with his ***** and his new kid to care about my homework
dad calls me a little ***** when he gets mad
mom says I will be a ***** if I sleep around. HA! mom's a hypocrite!
mom hates breaking nails so I do all housework
dad drinks every day now that he's with the evil *****
dad friends ladies a few years older than me and flirts with them.
dad tells ***** jokes on facebook and I want to unfriend him.
mom doesn't do her laundry and steals my *******
mom and her friends discuss what I don't want to know about men.
Got thousands of reasons why I want new parents.
I hate my life, I hate my life!

there is this boy
and he is
very black
and very muscular
and
he could easily
overpower me
and he thinks my
legs
are
nice
and my dad would
crap his pants
if he ever saw him near me
because dad is still scared
of black people

there is this boy
he is very white
and a little dorky
but i like the way
his face
makes funny eyebrow smiles
he never
leaves
me
alone
and dad wouldn't care
if he was with me
because this boy is too scared
to do
anything

there is this boy
that is really more like a man
and he drives a jeep
and fishes a lot
and takes pictures
and draws on his ipad
and he's kind of a ****
but he told me i'm spunky
and that i make him smile
and that he
likes me
i was glad
to make him
smile
dad would probably
be
his best
friend

there is this boy
who i thought was really big on jesus
but it turns out he wanted to take me into a walk in freezer
pour chocolate on me
and lick it off
i liked him because i thought he was nice
but he wanted me
to
lick
his
fingers
and other things
too
i said
no
dad would
shoot him

there is this boy
that plays the trumpet
and has a receding hairline
but he's only like
twenty two
and he
likes to find my face
and smile at me
because he wants to know
if i'll smile
back
he wanted to give me
a massage
and a long hug
i wish he would
tell me
he liked me
so maybe we could be
together
dad would
think he was
the marrying type

there is this boy
who likes to tell me what he's wearing
which is usually silky underwear
blue ones
red ones
sometimes
none
the first night i knew him
he sent me a picture
of his ***
it was really
white
he wants to
draw a bath for me
and watch me
in the bubbles
he tells me
i can touch him
anywhere
i want
he'll touch me
too
dad would skin him
after
he shot him

there is this boy
who is high
or drunk
24/7
he makes me watch awful scary movies
he is silly
playful
he
loves
me
but he is in
california
and he only loves me
as a friend
he wants a blonde
not a redhead
and that is ok
we would be too much for this world
if we were together
anyway
dad would
hate
him

"it's ok"
i whisper to my arm
with the new scar
waiting to dry
"it's ok"
i whisper to my cheeks
with the salty tears
waiting to dry
"it's ok"
i say to the moon
without a face
waiting to die
"it's ok"
i whisper myself
with the cuts
waiting to die