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 Mar 2014 ashley m
Auve
Despite what you do and say,
trying to convince me
of your care.
I can see through you.

I see the way you treat the others
who I hold so dear
and love.
I can see through you.

Please don't try any longer
to get any closer
to me.
Prolonged pain lingers deep within.

Nothing can replace the past;
the anger and emotions
ever haunting.
Pessimistic thoughts tied to each beloved.

My troubled soul still aching;
filtering old complaints
and memories
which try to hide from truth itself.

Methods to cope with dull reality;
to ease the pain once more
which resides.
I can see through you.
A method to cope with dull reality.
You give me hope
Youre my last chance
If either of us ***** this up
Im officially becoming lesbian

Girls are easier to date
Huh. It's 12/13/13 right now. While I write this note. And uh, yeah. I did, go me.
 Mar 2014 ashley m
R
Lesbian
 Mar 2014 ashley m
R
Someone asked me the other day
"Do you like her?"
I thought for a second and smiled,
"Yes, yes I do."

"God, you're such a lesbian!"
I smiled and replied with,
"I know."
And kept on walking.

Later in the day
People were staring at me
And
Calling me names.

I held my head up
High
And smiled.

Nobody will stand in my way.
UPDATE***not lesbian, but pansexual
I have a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend so call me whatever you please

preferably call me nothing at all because i am a human being ha
Numb hands
Head Pounding
Cant stand

Feelings broken
Fear taking over
words unspoken

Sharp pain
Tears on the floor
Relief from the strain
Pain no more
Lets exchange  our story's
for as long as they are
and as short as it has taken us to get them
 Mar 2014 ashley m
Ashley Haack
Journaling is hard...
Have you ever tried it?
You write each day, about random ****,
Only to find nobody gives a crap.
You fall asleep early and into the trap-
Of procrastination.
This dutiful task is one big opperation,
With the heart monitor beeping,
Time keeps on ticking.
The days smear together,
On the ugly speckled canvas,
Of the 50ยข notebooks,
You store next to your bed...


***** journaling,
I think I'd rather be a poet.
 Mar 2014 ashley m
Ashley Haack
Most poets, as far as i've seen,
seem to battle with depression...
why is that? Well, I can't ask that about myself,
because I already know why I'm like this.
To think... It all started in the 5th grade...
That feels like ages ago now.
One of the last days of the year,
Everyone was watching Robots,
or enjoying free reign of the playground.
I was one of the movie-goers,
Happily munching away at a little bag popcorn
Durring "intermission" aka, a bathroom break,
A teacher asked me if I could help her out with something.
Little kids are so **** nieve...
I followed her into the library like a little puppy.
In the library was a group of my friends.
(for the sake of annonamysy, I won't name them)
I was told to sit at the little round table next to the teacher,
not suspecting a thing.
She started off by asking us if we had ever heard
"sticks and bricks may break my bones,
but words, they cannot hurt me,"
Most of us hadn't at that time.
I was still smiling then.
She explained that the saying is not true,
and that words do hurt.
The reason I was brought there
Was that I'd said I felt smart,
After gettting an A on an assignment.
Apparently my 'friends' were offened by that.
The teacher told me to think about others
before saying "something like that" again.
My eyes started watering.
My lip was set to a quiver.
I returned to the movie room,
intermission was long since over,
The movie was started without me.
I moved my little chair,
to the back of the room.
Lights off, curtains closed...
I learned to be glad for the darkness.
It hid my tears.
The laughter of the children
covered the sounds of my sobs.
That was when I taught myself
how to cry quietly.
It's impossible to forget the moments
that change who you are and who you could've been...
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