look me in the eyes oh my god please cut it all off,
my limbs have grown too long legs like ropes
anchoring me on a mortal plane.cut up careless fingertips, blood and sentience in a wineskin trap.
every day a dream in the way that makes you sick,christ is this real?
am i real?angles jutting in ways they shouldnt.everything bends the world bows to me
while i try to rip cataracts from my eyes.
this could be a hymn but its more of an envoi, a sacrament or a sacrifice -
honey i hurt all over please bury me at sea, the marsh is too full for me to fit NINETEEN YEARS OLD AND ON MY DEATHBED FOR THE PAST FIVE, KISSING CARNIVORES JUST TO TASTE THE BLOOD BURN OFF THE UVULA SO I DONT GAG PLEASE STICK YOUR TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT I WONT PUSH YOU AWAY THIS TIME, BLOOD
BLOOD
BLOOD & SWEAT & FIREWORKS, entoptic panoptic neurotic too heavy to move my hands,
shackled to a sense of dread, something is happening.something is coming.december salt,
drooling vitriol and vanity,
flooding the floor with apotheosis.suitheism soaking through my shoes.i am
unclenching, fingers uncurling like petals.feet deep in decomposing verses,
gospel of judas, gospel of mary.im blooming a sick flower: titan arum, corpse plant
GOD SPEAKS THROUGH THE FILM OF THE SKY TO DEEM ME UNWORTHY GOD PEERS THROUGH THE CRACKS IN MY HANDS THE FILTH BOILS AND I BLEED LIKE A BROKEN DAM ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THERE ARE HUNTERS IN THE WOODS AND YOU THINK OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEER AND HUMAN RIBS BREAKING YOUR WRISTS PROSTRATED BY SPEEDING CARS,OH, CHRIST! OH GOD! THESE TEETH ARE TOO SHARP FOR MY MOUTH AND MY LIPS ARE IN RIBBONS BURSTING LIKE MOLD FROM THE GAPS IN THE FLOOR, YOU THINK THERES HONOR IN BLOOD ON THE KNUCKLES YOU THINK THERES GLORY IN PUNCTURED LUNGS, shrapnel summers damp & hot like
cotton against your bleeding gums,
shivering in august sun.yellowed bruises like old bones, stained teeth,
varying stages of illness.dry throats begging for salt.your milksop mouth,
chipping your teeth on glaciers, apologizing to the arctic you never meant to grow so cold
you never meant to turn so sour, STICKING PINS THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHS I AM TRYING, I AM TRYING, I SWEAR TO GOD IM TRYING OH MY GOD GIVE ME THE RAPTURE LEAVE ME CONVULSIVE ON AN EMPTY EARTH SEE THESE RUPTURES THESE WOUNDS ARE STIGMATA I AM HOLY I AM HOLY I AM HOLY I AM CROWN-DEEP IN THE MARSH WITH AN OPENED MOUTH YOUR HANDS ON MY WAIST MY THUMBS IN YOUR EYES IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED IS THIS HOW YOU THOUGHT ITD BE, YOU SUPINE ON THE RIVER FLOOR AND I THRASH IN THE DALLES I WEAPONIZED MYSELF,
i carved all my soft edges into things that ****, shocked when i became
alone. i made myself into a knife and now i dont know why everyone i touch
bleeds. is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive? is this how it feels to burn alive?

She is unfinished stories and dog-eared adventure books. She is adorned with string lights and stray cat toys, an overflowing junk drawer and a perfectly loud laugh. She is kind brown eyes and witty comments. She is first.

He is pastel tears and bird feathers. He is Twenty One Pilots' lyrics and faded polaroids. He speaks in hushed tones and drinks mint tea. He will hold and let himself be held. He is empathy.

She is firey spirit and winged eyeliner. Glitter and badassery. She is scarred and beautiful. She protects and yells. Cries and laughs. She is ***** jokes and black clothes. She is who I am too timid to be.

He is a lone flame and endless darkness all at once. He is a sharp blade and subdued smile. Strong coffee, pop-tarts, and ripped jeans. Tae kwon do and boy scouts. He is too often forgotten.

She is buck teeth and Greatest Showman lyrics. Stubbornness and freckles. Conceals her self-consciousness with mock confidence. Funny faces and the best dance moves. She hides my things and steals my clothes. She stirs up trouble in the best way.

He is soft smiles and lego armies. He loves cats and make-believe (though video games are his first love). Creates pillow forts and mysteries, art and movie magic. He wears glowstick necklaces and no shirt proudly, as he should. He loves my heart.

She is willow trees and afternoon tea. Gentle rain and improv games. Quirky and polite, she is decorated with her gap-toothed smile and childish style. She hands out stickers and strums her ukelele with affection. She inspires me.

He. Oh God, he. He is summer skies and skateboards. Braces and freckles. He is a shell-collector and songwriter. He loves the stage. Compassion and hand-holding, cheek kisses and free smiles. He is devotion.

They hold me, and I hold them. We cry, we laugh, we hate. We sing and we dance, we talk about our dreams. We depend on each other. We love one another. Many would not be here without me.

And I couldn't be here without them.