Its difficult to keep back tears,
When all I do is cry,
But this time i want to be strong,
This time I want to try.

Each song I hear it multiplies,
My heartache and my pain,
but without music in my soul,
I start going insane.

Ill sing myself a lullaby,
To help me sleep tonight,
but instead of restful melody,
I get another fight.

The battle just keeps raging on,
Its tearing me apart,
Though the sound keeps me together,
The lyrics break my heart.

I am drowning,
Without any water,
Just waves of loneliness;
As soon I see the shore,
I get pulled back,
By the angry waves,
Drown they say,
Give up,
Let go,
You shall find relief that way.
The faster I swim,
The more I feel,
Claws and teeth at my feet,
The sadness biting into my soul,
I am drowning in this flood,
Howling,
Howling they are,
All for my blood.
My net has a giant tear,
My boat has a huge hole,
And my anchor,
Isn't holding me down,
Does anyone care?
The tentacles are on my neck,
I can't breathe,
Is it a sin to want,
To want to drown,
For I have forgotten the air,
How my head feels above the water,
Tell me,someone,
Anyone,
Do I matter?

You held my hands in your own
You looked down and saw the scars on my palms
And then looked me in the eyes and asked, "who hurt you?"
I quietly replied, "everyone who said they wouldn't."

I often think about escaping
from this world that makes me cry.
I often think about escaping
from this world that is filled with crime.
I often think about escaping
from this world that cuts my wings
and doesn't let me fly.
I often think about escaping,
and how it would feel to say
            goodbye
                            and
                                              die.

Please come back,
You are my need,
Not my want.
15/8/2019