I am so sorry.

For every time I hurt you..

For every cruel word I’ve ever said to you..

For not seeing what you needed most..

For not being kind to you as much as everyone else..

For every tear you have wasted..

For every time I stepped on your heart..

For every time I didn’t believe in you..

For every time I didn’t listen to you.

I am so sorry.

For ripping you apart..

For destroying the beautiful things in you..

For always making you pay the price..

And I apologise for all the wrongdoings I caused you!

Forgive this fallible human that is you.

I am so sorry.

you were the certain uncertainty my heart needed-- to know that it was living

loving you was the most certain uncertainty it did-- that made it feel alive

Crystal vines creep
Along our bodies

These vines seem to know
Everything about you
And I must say I dream
Of knowing the same

If we end up pulling apart
I know their shards
Will pierce our minds
In unison

Uncertainty fills your mind
Mine too
But we both planted these seeds

Let's become new

there are nights
like this
when i kept on
staring the cracks
at the ceiling
and wonder how
on earth
we keep
justifying
all the bullets
fired at us
just because
we love the
one
pulling
the trigger

Did he drown?
Did he hit the ground?
Did he take flight again
Like a goose gone south for longer
Than a winters night?
Daedalus should’ve done a practice flight

Did he laugh?
Did he throw his head back?
Did he let himself fall
And with a smile on his face
Feel peaceful fright?
Needing less discipline to fall than to take flight

Did he make it up as he went?
His finale waiting for the sun’s repent?
Did Daedalus drop his maps and designs
Did even the sea reach out from the benign
To say, the sun shines awfully bright
You should’ve done a practice flight

I’m not the one who sails with grace
Tempestuous seas
broad as the moon

I’m not the one who stood in her firm legs
Sorting waves of ambition with equilibrium

I’m not the one who resisted equable
before unearthly weather
I’m not the one who faced bravely
A simple stormy header

I’m not the one who surfs
oceans of emotions
I’m the one who swims from dot to dot
I’m the one who knows who I am not.

You say the words
I'll believe in lords
You give me feels
I'll lick your heels
You do these things
I'll give you wings

The wind is cold
The sun is warm
My feet are sore
My heart is numb