I'll take your suffering, your heartbreak, your sorrow,
I'll hold it within me, much past tomorrow,
I don't care how much it burns, that angry beast inside,
Because I know I can bear it, with you by my side.
I'll fly through a blowing hurricane, I'll run through the night,
As long as it helps you, in your fight.

You should go to therapy*

Well you should open your eyes
Don't pretend im the only one dead inside
I just show it
More than i can say of you
You hid it all behind all you jokes
A meaniless thing to do
So who.needs freaking therapy
Definitely not me
I know how i am
And i have people who care for me
Unlike you who actually needs therapy

I was such a sensitive child, emotions on full alert
Constantly,
Consistently.

I would cry until dry
Love until abandoned
Loathe myself until broken.

But what kind of life is that?

I was  shriveled, alone and in pieces.
So I, like many, created a prison for myself.
I created unbreakable walls to hide in.
To keep my emotions inside while everyone else looked upon my hard exterior

I cannot pin point a time or situation when I lost all emotion
Or when I built walls to hold myself up.

All I know is that now I show nothing
I push people away until I am alone
And I tear off pieces of myself and use them to reinforce my walls

I see now that I have recreated my younger self,
I am still full of hidden tears
I am alone by choice
And have ripped myself apart
But instead of sensitive child, I am now a **heartless monster

your eyes
just like crystals
they shone with such beauty
that little glimmer in your eyes
when you smile
is magic
i miss being the magician
who brought that glimmer

your lips
were a shade of red
just like wine
and i was ready to get drunk
on them
after being sober ever since
you left

your dimples
are so deep
it was almost as if they had
a treasure buried beneath them
a treasure which is only known
when you're smiling
i miss being that treasure


who knew how all your imperfections
joined together can create something so beautiful
you were almost like a constellation
a bunch of stars lined together
messy but magnificent

Take me death, I don't have a life to live.
He is only 15 but I feel the weight of ages upon my shoulders.
HE still has a life to live, to love, to laugh, to cry.
Take me death, I cannot bear too much, take me, death, I've had enough.

Love makes me happy makes me sad,
Makes me tired makes me glad,
Why does Love affect me in so many different ways?
There is Love for a brother, for a sister, for a mother,
For a father, for an uncle, for a girlfrend, or friends.
Why can I only manage the last two?

Hate is the rage that fills my bones,
At the separation of me and her, two hearts forever joined,
At the way my parents mock my friends,
At Cancer. That the filthy beast should dare go near Andy!
Hate starts wars, causes death, destruction, decay.
Yet where is Love in war?
In the smile of te nrse at the valor of her patients,
In the flowers laid on the graves of even the enemy,
In the defense of Liberty, Family and the Homeland.

~The reason I am scared to love you,
Is because I'm really scared if you'll leave.
And that's my worst fear of all.
I use to love you with all of my heart,
You controlled my thoughts.
Now, if you leave ever again,
you'll destroy me.
I'm sorry, I still love you so much.

I left my fake smile
At my house
Next to my innocence
I hide my fears
In a locked cabinet
Near where I hold hate
The hate that makes the floorboards
Creek deep within the night
Trying not to wake up the past
So I can sneak a few handfuls of Cheerios
To help crave my selfishness
I want you to count
The dark circles around my eyes
The circles are like the center of a tree
The amount of circles counts up
To the last time I had imagination
Come play at my house
This house is nothing but a butterfly net
It captures all the beautiful things
That flap around my life

Another day another number
Another day another empty bedside
Another day to smell the hair on the pillow sheets
That cocoon me with my frantic mind
Another day acting like
Sleeping with different girls every week is fun
Another day of being called a ****** slayer
By your friends who wish they were like you

Why oh why
Do I have to see these days pass by
Without being called a ****
Another day where men measure themselves
On how manly they are
By the number of girls you have slept with.

Sleep on this
I can’t sleep at night
As Whatshername’s
Hair brushes on my nose
I sit there thinking these 14 things
That seem to tug on shirt
Asking for my attention

1.) I hope she had fun tonight

2.) I hope this clock stays at 2:13am
maybe if I stare at it the minute hand
It won’t move

3.) I hope I can feel loved by her by another night
I want her to see
That I’m not just a ******
Craving her curves on my body.

4.) I hope she can see through the cracks of my smile

5.) I hope she sees that I’m not like everyone guy

6.) I hope I can make her pancakes when she wakes up
Before she escapes the person she calls a regret.

7.) I hope sun doesn't come up
Because I’ll have to walk alone in cold street called reality

8.) I hope she doesn't realize
The reason I have *** with her
Is to avoid to larger problems in my life.

9.) I hope that ****** worked

10.) I hope I can change my ways,
why can’t change my ways?

11.) I hope my dad’s leather belt
Isn't waiting for me
When I sneak back home,
Yet I’m excited to see it
Because I feel my father’s touch
Through the sounds of leather

12.) I hope my future son doesn't see me like this

13.) I hope my number of girls I've slept with stops at 13

14.) I hope I can stop

Stop
Stop
Stop
Whenever I try stop
All I can think of
Are those words
Floating around my head
Convicting me
That if people call you a “****”
“****** slayer”
“Man *****”
I just think to myself
“Well I guess I am who I am”
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