You had a mouth full of bullets
and all your sentences rang out like gunplay,
How many times do I have to wear
Kevlar to our conversations?
-
A machine gun smile,
Ten trigger fingers waiting to fire on,
I was the fool standing arms out wide waiting for an answer
Bullets in my chest made my insides bleed red,
Hidden behind battlefield lips,
How could I not see this coming they said,
-
help patch all the holes left in me,
all the hollow places inside left behind,
Refugee bones searching for shelter,
-
You were the shooter and I the target,
Clip emptied, and we both got hit,
I am just not afraid to show
the parts of me that are bleeding

Ive sailed seas of letters,
Oceans of consonants,
drank from rivers of vowels,
I know that the depths of words
lies far beneath the surface,
Somewhere along its floor

For some reason,
After you left again,
My insides painted themselves blue,
The mirrors all stared back,
Searched for the floods in my side,
Jarred up the thought of you,
I'm letting it sit for the summer,
Maybe it'll be ready in the fall

This city is so silent at night
The rain of a northern sky
These lights that burn bright
Lulled me to sleep
I got lost on streets
Forgot my worries
I'm trying to feel myself again
Maybe this is what I've been searching for
This feeling of adventure
This feeling of want
I miss you
Your limbs and your laughter
The way your frame moves in dim lights
You worry too much
You love too hard
I just want to be

Fire!
Fire all around!
Burn me now sinner woman
Burn this body to the ground
Teach my your sinning ways
Teach me all that soul
Shake those hips sinner woman
Take me back home with you,
Back to that southern heat,
Away from this northern rain,
Sinner woman teach me,
All those beautiful sounds

The white linoleum,
Floods this endless maze,
Similar souls in different bodies,
I am simply passing through,
Another cog in the machine,
Eyes pointed up at ceiling,
Watching boxes of light fly by
as if they were windows of sun,
Unfamiliar voices pump positivity,
Promises of my well being,
My head rolls right,
Sight fixed on the dark haired nurse,
Her smile stretches wide,
Unsure where to place it,
She reaches for my arm,
A chill enters my veins,
My body turns to gold,
I drift away,
The sun spotted ceiling fades to black,
You forget how much you love it,
Maybe the pain was worth it,
Anything for her sweet taste again

The whole room got up to dance,
all head shakes and hip swings
this music got me all filled up
each note a cry out for someone
they done made the leaves change
autumn jazz be the most beautiful of colors

I mourned the loss of a lover,
I drank away the Mississippi
Flowers grew between my teeth,
My nose was bloodied
My eyes bruised,
I know not the music to dance to
I only feel the sheet music in my bones,
Last week I jumped overboard
Tied anchors to my knees
Sunk between the floorboards
I know now the difference
Between the currents and the tides

Loosing myself in the storm clouds
gray water, baptize me well
pour out your innards and drench my skin
liquid bombings from heavens above
cleanse me of my sorrows
I left my umbrella at home
It rests there along with the thought of her
gray water, baptize me well
I am sorry,
for everything

You’ve got Orion in your eyes,
Shimmering and stumbling
all the way home
You with the audacity to live
To breath every northern wind,
Holding the ocean in your palms,
Arms stretched out waiting for
someone to grab on,
Journey to your moon and back again,
rub the cosmos on your gums,
Just like it was your first time

I poured myself into vases
As if by doing so I could
Keep alive these fragile beautiful things

I rode my veins like the highways
Got off at the nearest exit
Somewhere to rest these bones for a little while
I stayed too long..
My body felt heavy,
My shoulders didn’t know up from down,
I was searching for something more than what was inside of myself
Maybe that thing I was searching for was
the arms of a woman who knew enough about everting
and not enough about all the little things in life
I tried to teach her those things.. I still am.
Maybe I am the ocean and she was the seaside
I kiss her like the tides, over and over again,
All I am is a mere observer to her love
And I watch the tides roll in, how she calls me by name
Oh how I love her dear,
Oh How my heart sings with ocean songs
whenever she enters a room

Weeping at the strings
Plucking away these fears
Ive climbed the steps
Knocked on the door of forgiveness
Broken windows,
****** floors,
****** me on the stoop of god
Someone needs to know
That we have bled too much
If we are all his children
Than why haven’t these deaths counted
for some salvation of sin
I watch as more bodies show up on the news,
Boys laid out on the sidewalk
Arms spread and bleeding
Crucified to this concrete
Hoping for some kind of remembrance
Who’s side are you on lord

Reaching across your side,
you lay your head upon my chest
We rode back home in the back of my parent’s car,
The night hid our quiet displays of affection
I still feel the warmth of you body up against my own,
The street lights passed one by one
A kind of metronome to the hum of the engine
My limbs went numb hours ago but i dare not move a muscle
Because the silhouette of your face resting peacefully was
all I needed to feel like myself again.

The driveway curved and bent,
A stream of black asphalt
made its way toward the doorstep,
Sundays were always the warmest,
chalk marked the pavement
The neighbors conversed from windows
about the new girl down the road,
Cages for backyards
held the gardens for ransom,
Explosions in the sky
colored the black of the night
Just like the chalk on the pavement

Faded white brick
Potted plants
Crooked door
Wonderful rain,
You bring life to this old body
Taking the noise out of my floorboards
Putting the meals back on my table,
So long it has been since life has
flourished under my roof,
So long it has been since this
rickety frame has felt loved.
The rain forced their faces back inside
To this place they claim to be a home,
I smile on as my colors peel with every grin,
Thank you for this.

Mr. Gooding tells me about the past,
Back before the levees gave way,
and the water swallowed his city,
Mr. Gooding says she was a proud place,
One full of passion and sound,
He says New Orleans had a life of its own,
Everyone there just loved to hear it sing,
I tell him that Baltimore sings too,
Sometimes out of tune,
But still she sings,
And we came here to listen

We will plummet
Destined to our fall,
Soaring out the window panes,
Pouring buckets of ourselves,
Whoever lies below,
Stares and wonders,
What has happened up there?
Climb the stairwell,
Gawk at the interior,
This is nothing but sad violins,
And cracks in the walls

We who at funerals tend to weep,
We who stay close to grave digger's feet
Hoping that our time will come sooner,
That the bruises will be black and bluer that the last,
Replaying all the memories from the past,
Because I know that I am looking
for a new bed to lie in,
A new heart to confide in,
A new body to die in,
Cause this one's got nothing left,
So clip these wings and shackle my feet,
Sink me twelve meters deep,
Fill the insides with the ocean,
and let this slumber set softly

If the body had seasons
I'd say that this sadness is winter
The garden has wilted
The creatures have gone
Sought shelter and slumber
No longer can I hear the rivers
They've all frozen over
All that remains
Are these gods of malice
False prophet kings
Picking what's left of me
To keep their bellies full

An instinct
This animal desire
So close to your chest
My blood moving like a freight train
I need to be close to you
Your skin meeting mine
My most tender of loves
Holding your frame
As if it is all that ever was
Let me love you dearly
Let me kiss every inch of your skin
Oh how this heart aches
To be close to you again

You entice me
Oh sweet divine
As if some nostalgia followed
An echo of past joy
The first tulips of spring
Aroma of a home cooked meal
These feelings rush my senses
My chest sprints to the finish
A marathon of a ribcage
And a greenhouse in my throat
Ready to bloom with words only
instincts can describe

Far across foreign seas
Stood a golden isle
With monuments to
unfamiliar gods
and songs I did not
know how to sing
The days melted
into mystic evenings
But somewhere along the way
On that golden isle
I found my faith again
It laid buried beneath the sand
Next to nameless corpses
That all looked the same
when the insects
finally finished their work

Woke up, 4:34 A.M,
cold sweat
drenched my t-shirt,
my heart was beating fast,
These sheets were made
for sleeping.

Not this.

When you take the hot iron of morning
And rub it along those fences between us
The trees dip down their branches
To listen a little bit more clearly.
I know that the notes you pick from
That wooden box of yours knows
All the hurt in the audience
But when you sang the blues
I looked for all the heartbreak I had
Gathered inside my chest
And let their broken pieces flutter
Away like some kind of winged messenger,
All the way to the ceiling of that room
You made into Harlem just for a night.

Fists contorted into gang sign slogan
Chest drenched in the ink bestowed by brothers
face scarred and eyes dry of tears
sorrow glued to the billboard of your mouth

What would little brother think?
seeing superhero caught in petty crime bloodbath,
Noosed around your neck, you wear your colors well,

arsenal in jeans,
fistful of blades,
Sin in your mouth,
too suave for war tonight,

so you will cruise the block,
just as last night,
and the night before,
and the night before that,

waiting,
for someone
to move a muscle.

When I think of the south,
It’s Coltrane by the river,
It’s the sweat on my neck,
How her arms hold me
like a mother with her child,
The smiles of strangers,
It’s not knowing where to be
but welcome at every door,
It’s the music in the breeze,
My warmest of beds,
Oh how her sweet songs
breath life back into my chest,
All of her bridges,
The waters beneath them,
Carry me back to the beginning,
Back to the orchards
and the light between the leaves,
What a wonder this place is
How could I ever flee.

On that day
The two of us
Sitting beside another
On a pier over some river

Henry says to me:
"Do you ever wonder why there are fish
and birds and you and me?"

I took a moment
Then I said:
"No, I don't."

And there was silence
followed by laughter
And more silence

So we stayed on that pier
on some unimportant river
Watching the birds and the fish
and doing anything but wonder
How they could be

How can I say no?
To a heart like yours,
One that beats insistent,
In tune to my favorite of rhythms,
You make this life plenty,
And my heart at ease

Distance is defined as:
"an amount of space between two things or people."
yet even though you are less than a mile from me,
I feel everything and an ocean between us,
The choices made were our own paths
The destinations have always been known
I do not blame anyone for this
But the expanse of this space is always on my mind,
Some days I wish I could stretch my arms back
to a time before all of this, and shake the sense right out of my bones,
and relive those golden memories we once held so dear

Lying through my teeth
slick silver tongued
weaving the words
into intricate lies
I am cardboard insides
Paper thin skin
feel the dust in my palms
anything to be who I am not

Ive written my best poetry
When my arms were wrapped around your body.
I didn’t even have any words to give
It just simply was.

And my spine has been an out of tune violin for so many years
That when your fingers ran themselves across it
I didn’t even recognize the sound.

You are a simple being,
Feeding your dreams to the mouths of your children,
Wondering how far must the sidewalk lead,
Never have you bit the hand that feeds you,
You are a simple being,
One wide-eyed and thinking,
This was a long way you came,
From the place you once called home

The months have come and gone like public transit bus stop mornings
I hopped on somewhere last july and haven’t gotten off since,
My legs wrapped around the faded yellow seats,
Hunched over the rails ahead of me as I rest my bones a little while longer,
The cities have passed by one by one, the breast of the country lies bare and wide before me,
I watched the birds soar as the wind carried their wings from place to place
Relaying the messages between the two rivers,
Both dreaming of the other, so many miles between them, how they swell with longing,
Graveyards bloom with wild flower memories, every one addressed to a lost lover,
Ive traveled so long now that these demons stopped biting at my heels,
So long it’s been since I stretched these weary legs, so much distance between now
and who I once was.