Her smile shines and illuminates my soul like the sun is warm on my face, with her by my side I'm happy in ways I've forgotten, if I ever knew I could be.
My alarm goes off, another day of grey.
I'm too broken and jagged edged to put anyone else in my company. I'm not whole and I'm not her responsibility to fix and I don't want to cut her on my sharp shattered soul.
For now I subsist on her genuine kindness and warmth, I may never feel her arms around me and her lips upon my skin, but I take comfort in her casual friendship and solace that I'm working on healing myself so that I can be ready for love.
Always, I will be grateful to her for her gentleness, her ferocity, and her ambition for they are the path I follow to become whole again, upon her I would shower the blessings and bounties of the cosmos.
My love is boundless, and I do my best to give a safe amount because I'm still learning what it means and I refuse to be careless with the hearts of others, for I know the pain of one rent asunder, torn for no less than the amusement of one I trusted.
Lessons of malfeasant and twisted affection must be unlearned and I know I'm better than the trauma I've suffered but the effort and struggle to become who I know I can be is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've done terrible things in my darkest days, days when the end was neatly noted on calendars.
I'm not ready to put someone else through the pain of existence, because I know that there is peace and I will find it, she showed me how to be strong, now I will show her that I too can be.
Depression is a fickle and evil thing and it never truly goes away, like it's twin anxiety, it lurks waiting to latch onto your soul and drag you back down into it. But it's worth the fight every day is a little brighter if you remember that stormy days are natural and they will eventually blow by. There will be an end and the rainbow as the clouds break and the sun shines again is worth working for