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the balms and palms and all of what you ever were to me
are only visible to those who thought they couldn't see
I want to tuck my life away in someone else's hands
but cannot bring myself to trust that yours could ever stand
the weighted breath, the solid sea of saltiness we lack
I left because I didn't know if you were coming back
and here I sit, a question mark made perfect in my pain
I want to ask if I can stay but I just feel insane
it takes no time to feel you here beside my lonely soul
I wish you well and myself too, I'll wait to let you go
numbers, numb
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
bones
She leaves me
with secret flowers

each has
a broken heart

and purple petals
for me to hide

and memories
I can't ....
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
r
Her kisses were moonshine
and bullets, three shots
to the heart, like a rose
on the canvas of morning,
like art, an eyelash on a poem
that always makes me pause,
three xs at the bottom of a page.
***
I swear I could be better*
the car sways through the hills
I feel your pants press against mine
just a piece of fabric separating
your skin from mine

my palms are sweaty
my heart stuck in my chest
my mind racing to bed sheets & sweat
the secret we could have
oh, the mess we could make*

you walk away and don't say a word
our silence sexier than the anticipation
I can still feel my hand pressing against the ***** in your back

pulling you up to me

and kissing you with such fever your lips turned pink.
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
december
The same day I learned I loved you
I also learned to say
"Your eyes are like stars"
I'm not sure if I believe in fate but
This is not a coincidence
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
december
I want to dance with you to jazz music while we wear only our underwear at 2am.
I want our bodies to know each other so well that our hearts start to beat in unison.
I crave to hear the fluent Spanish flow off your lips when I make you feel something that English can not express.
I want to call you mine before bed when you finally let your hair drape down past your shoulders, and when you make your first cup of coffee in the morning.
It's 5 in the morning and I can't stop thinking about her loving you the way that I should be.
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
Harsh
I spell “I love you” on the lines of your collarbone

and I always try to go from one end to another,
brushing calligraphy strokes with my tongue
and blotting your skin as a page with my lips.

I never really have finished saying it,
and I guess I never will

my motions are lost among your curves
and my lips almost always end up
meeting yours somewhere in the middle.
 Oct 2015 TreadingWater
december
If you asked me to define home, I'd picture her.

I wouldn't think about my leather couch, but her brown eyes that fill up the room more than any piece of old furniture ever could.

It is not the drapes I played Hide-N-Seek in as a child, because her hair is so much better to get lost in.

My home is not my first house that seemed like a labyrinth to my tiny fingertips, because her mind has far more hidden rooms to discover.

My house has chipped paint on the walls, but my home.. she is covered perfectly.

If you could substitute a photograph for a dictionary definition, it would be her silhouette beside the word "home."

But you see, the problem with home is that you never realize its importance until you can't have it anymore.

Her heartbeat no longer sounds like my mother making breakfast in the kitchen on a Sunday morning, it's the one creaky step I used to skip over because of its gut wrenching noise.

I can't stop thinking about her. I have nowhere to run to, because her arms aren't wide open anymore, they're closed and locked like my bedroom door. I'm homesick.
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