**** these violent black holes
Compressing each and every passing soul
****** through these eternities
By vacuums of unknowns

  On the other side where entropy awaits
There at the eventful horizon
Another big bang
At heaven's new gate

Hope is but a hypothesis
From an obsolete science book
Outdated in spirituality
Humanity is always
On the hook!

"All of us beings"
Believing we're free
Have We?
Could We?
Been tricked or deceived?

We boldly live our lives
And somehow we believe
That we understand the path
Upon this existential sea

But wisdom dictates different  
Nothing can last forever
Especially at this rate
Where nothings getting better
+

Beware
A serious search for truths
Of deeper existential matters
Can change the way you believe and think.

Unfortunately
Most shall never
Reach their roof
In the shadows of facts
And lack of proofs

In the cave that's given
Surrendered to roles
Sheltered in comforted
Feeble to old

Coming back around
To repeat life again
Judging, labeling
Assigning sin
Limiting love
To the circles within

We bind ourselves
By our beliefs
Only a traveling
Mind is truly free
....

In my integral contemplation
all these patterns resemble
the original blueprint

So there for I believe
It’s safe to build upon!

What do you perceive?
Is your god the only
God in existence
And out of eight billion
HUMAN BEINGS
On this mighty planet
You and a mere one and a half billion humans
That follow said deity
Are the only people on this earth that matter?

Those bombs that shook
Their expendable existence
Did you feel it in your heart
The fist of your intolerant god
That tore their worlds apart...

And no please don't perceive this
With your separatist heart intact
Your fairy tales
Have all gone to hell
What more horrors will they hatch...

Cutting through the thickets
Where no path was ever laid
I struggle to fine my footing
The sky has now turn grey

Jagged rocks guide my steps
Through thistles and thorny ******
A familiar force within me dives
Struggling to stay alive

I wrestle with the landscape
Until I reach the clearing
There the maple spread its branches
Falling leaves to soften the ground
And so I sleep another
Thousand years...

What was it
That finally broke my soul?
Perhaps I was suppose to die
Many years ago
I made amends
To set thing right
But it seemed that was just
A wasted flight
Somehow I'm still alive
Suffering as I survive
I have no words
Left to say
No warnings
To convey
Believe as you may
I wasn't suppose to write
These words today
Instead I should be sleeping
In a younger me's grave....

They like to forget
What should be remembered
But they remember
What you would like to forget
The people’s voice
Quite ignorant and uneducated
Their stereotypical ways
Haven’t caught up to them yet

Bigotry will live on
Into the future
Hatred
An incurable cancer
Merciless apathy toward
The aliens and freaks among us
Few ask questions
Even fewer seek an answer...

This too shall pass
Unfortunately
It shall leave a mark...

Struggle for cognizance
Disturbing nightmares
Invisible spirit creatures
Nerves system villains
Soul *******
Karma demons
Evil shadows
Walking darkness
Creeping death
Fight for life
Battle for every last breath
    **** and consume
Attempt to survive

Nothing about  suicide or cutting
Yet very dark!

It's today again and where have I been
Out searching for tomorrow
I'd give up on my quest for gold
But I beg to be spared such sorrow...

What was the price
Of all the life I sacrificed
All the love I compromised
   I am the one who never lied...

Tomorrows run away
From every new day
Living come outside to play
  

Neurotoxins transmit messages in my brain
Depression from which I cannot refrain
Yet somehow I remain quite sane
Out here caught in this pouring rain...

I dreamt about a desire so deep I cried
So beautiful and unattainable yet still I tried
I tried to hold on as long as I could
My words are so often misunderstood...

I look at my wrist, I have no scars
Never felt the need to crash my car
Or burn in hell before my time
Self-mutilation is not my crime...

Yet my moment of satisfaction subjective
Blackened by what I was formed to believe
Unable to meditate, I can only dream
My mind is a vacuum to the extreme...

As I'm looking through your eyes
in an attempt to connect,
I can see your expectations have yet to be met.
Peering through digital lens
the differences are blinding.
In broken sentences definitions
are slowly unwinding.

I wonder if you trust your leaders
or is all the world deceived.
Time is a roller coaster
We're at the top of the big hill
    falling free...

I’m looking at you
with eyes of reason
Please
stop being evil!

In Particles of Mind
And Waves of Consciousness
The tissues of Thoughts are forged

By increasing matter and fact
We secrete the thoughts that lack
Our issues are always at war

No matter particle or wave
These dimensions contain
Emotion will always resist

Life is aware of every breath of air
And the magic of reality is this
...
Our energy will always exist
...

Something or...
Somebody put me here
So I could take his place
Whoever this poet was
I don't recognize my face
I would never write
Such self indulgent words
From the old Traveler
Seems like
That's all we ever heard
No one needs to know
Where I go or...
Where I live
I'm still at the age where
I love to get and give
But who ever put me here
In this old fellas boots
At least you could have left me
With a hint of why or...
Who!

Faces of the sun
Fill the halls
Eyes that shine
Six feet tall
Run and play now
The summer calls!

In a breath
I take you in
And hold you
As long as I can
But I have to
Let you out
That's what
Breathing
Is all about
.....

9-28-04


I fell into this world
When someone clipped my wings
I landed on your doorstep
Causing you to dream

You set me on a throne
Then crowned me with your lies
You said to get behind you
Yet you keep me by your side

I wonder if you realize
The power that I have
Every time you hate me
And when I make you mad

I know you’ll come around
And make your sacrifice
Perhaps you’ll beat your children
Perhaps you’ll cheat your wife

That’s all fine and dandy
‘Cause they’ll love you just the same
As long as you believe in me
You’ll have someone else to blame
...

For her I played a song of lust
It still haunts me across the years
Caught between severed ties of trust
Like an image between two mirrors

I see her eyes they never change
They still see straight through my soul
She draws me in her vicious game
Such a familiar repeting role

An echo on some distant wind
She draws me back for more
I write a dozen songs to mend
Still my heart's an open sore

The pattern is our worlds collide
They we go our separate ways
Across a sea of inconsistent lies
We ride on different waves

Judas repented with nothing to show
Another lost martyr or another lost soul
And so shines the stars long into the night
Just as my wrong cancels my right

All these beliefs were placed in our heads
Perhaps by someone we love
Still these things we dread
Promises of reward if we endure suffering
Promises of death if we go the way of Cain

Giving and wanting and losing again
This vicious cycle never seems to end
Yet all that I ask is not to grow old
Alone in my sins, out here in the cold

Fascinating how we can live
Holding on tightly to the past
If our memories serve us well
Perhaps it profits us to make them last
Memories of love and laughter
Some of tragedies and fear
All collected by our senses
The things we see, feel and hear

Driven by a common motivation
We seek relationships unending
The love of parents for their children
Is far beyond comprehending
And so the joy we share today
Are memories I'll hold forevermore
Cause the memories I have of you
Are the ones I most adore

I can’t seem to show them
The things they can’t seem to see
My Fathering reputation at stake
Few were the tricks up my sleeves

Listen now my children
Take heed the words of love
Put on your thinking caps
Take off your boxing gloves

Open sesame oh heart I plead!
A solution has to be...
Teach them how to break them down
Their walls of misery

Oh Father how have you forsaken me?

I experience fear
it's quite motivating!
(I don't externalize it!)
my biggest fear
is the act of hating...

I let the water wash me over
I clinch my stones
and remain quite sober

There's no shame
in being afraid
fear is the reward
of love and pain

And so I've grown
kinder and braver
since giving up on
my only savior

One eye open
shall eventually sleep
fear it but a state
our tired mind's keep

So remember...
your not alone
I have fear by the heaps!

Started listening
To something new
Words, cord arrangements
In mathematical construct
Far beyond any patterns
Holding no near
Nor distance continuity
A deviation form norm
Unlocking the primitive
Raw tribal beat of DNA
Beware of opening pathway
The breath of life blows free
You could travel with me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ClCaPmAA7s

Despite all your
Unwarranted fright
The darkness
Shall consume
The light

It comes from a place
Where all is void
More Jung
Than the teaching's
Of Freud

Yet fear not to embrace
What lies beyond
The blinding darkness
That's yet to calm

And perhaps
The place where souls collect
So please
Fear not the darkness
   Of all that's left...

These are the passages
of eternity
A translation beyond
right versus wrong
The questions of life
bear no relief
nor answer
While the raging heart
beats on...

Inherit the burden
of forgiveness
Your belonging
has tied your hands
Join your heart
to the universe
Heed the call
take a stand...

You are not who I want you to be
Yet I can't seem to get myself free
How can I shape the fabric of mind
Why do I continue to waste my time
????????????????????????????????

I watch life unfold like watching a movie
Frozen in morals that were never mine
Afraid to rebel I suffocate slowly
Who is to blame for my faulty design...
???????????????????????????????

Take comfort
In the love of life
Stand fast
In the face of strife
Be bold
'Til the end be near
Climb aboard
Let your intuition steer

If we could peer
To the end from near
Would we see our fears decline
And know for sure
That our existence endures
Beyond scientific confines

I would believe
Yet even the mind deceives
A heart that cannot know
So shall we
Rest in peace
Beyond the grief
Of these fears we have in tow...

Beyond passion we embrace the dark
A habitual bliss as we release our heart
Temptations tease, even want becomes need
Fulfillments fulfilled, even pleasures are pleased
We draw to the surface the quickening quench
Bathe in the purposeful hormonal stench

We lurk in the shadows cast by the meek
Who have inherited a world ruled by deceit...
With the wisdom of ages to guide our flight
We exist unnoticed under cover of night
We live for love yet hate sets us free
We search for truth in a world deceived

A simple twitch of an eye reveals a white lie
The calming of a heart as a nagging fear subsides
All is still as the dawn peaks the tranquil hour
Blinding rays of solar death seek evil to devour

Yet we are safe and sound from such a demon trap
When the forces of nature consummate our final path
Yet beware of such folklore that indicate win win
For we are merely immortals, until we reach our ends...

Do you fear
The stalkers stare
Watching you quietly sitting there
On your comfy couch all alone
He knows no one else is home
Do you fear
All that you can't see
Perhaps there's a killer
Creeping down your street
Or a rapper
***** as a toad
Leaving warts
Up and down the road

I say
Fear not
It's only fate
Close your eyes
And don't be late
Unlock that door
And let me in
I will protect you
  From your fears within...

It's getting ever clearer now
the distortions in-between..
The clouds of thoughts
are only passing over
the surface of my being

Here I write in passion's bliss
a mused by all I see
comfortable in my pleasure zone
secreting dopamine!

Look at this mess
This baggage
Is all I’ve left
My portion
Hard pressed
I have fermented
Nonetheless

Aged and seasoned
Blemishes and lesions
Yet my austerity
She finds
Somehow pleasing
I seek no reason
That would surely
Be treason

She gets drunk
And high
On me oh my
I get low
Fast but slow
We are of one soul
And now you know
Fermented wine
From years ago!

Fill it full
My cup of muse
My body grows tired
My heart confused

I'll raise a glass
To world peace
A couple more
For France And Greece

I'll raise a glass
For Human rights
A couple more
I'll be ready to fight

And now I'll write
From a brand new view
As I raise this glass
Of fermented muse...

How do I become so emotionally caught up
Even by a stranger’s fleeting glance
Someone loses somebody and just that fast
I’m starry-eyed and caught in a trance

Love is fulfilling yet hardly satisfied
And hate a fire that burns you up inside
Time is the essence of what we pretend to need
Space is so endless yet only temporarily
Life makes us strive to never want to die
Death makes us hope for at least one more try

But it seems our emotions rule our existence
And to gain control we must be more consistent
Because this compassion can be such a curse
And the fruits of life can cause such a thirst
What I’m very vaguely trying to express
Is that life in general can be such a mess

In the basement of memory
The ache takes it's leave

In temples of enlightenment
We learn how to grieve

In the back of our knowing
Where forgotten dissolves

My love is still waiting
It's final resolve
...

There's no single point
Where we became ourselves
No sacred moment
That sent our spirit south

All these different experiences
Bouncing around our heads
Gathered from a life time
Of pleasure's painful
Pure misguided dread

Love beyond measure
A fleeting slight of hand
An absolute description
That solitude demand

Still we cannot see
Whats tearing us apart
Staring in the mirror
At our final work of art
.............

I had been running from
My shadow's for far too long
And so I tried to stop
And take a right
To fix what's wrong
I had to learn to get along

But
These ghost of mine
They share my soul
They refused to simply just
Let the past go

I burn a candle and meditate
But all my magic is tied to fate
The time to pay
Is actually here
I keep my love
And passion near
.......

Dry dusty bones
worn-out resolve
I take comfort in
I’ve already lost
nothing further
can be taken
the rest is
merely
mine
now
I’m
f
i
n
e
.
.
.
.

We pay our debts
Sometimes
Empty-handed
We walk a fine line
Nothing is the way
It’s supposed to be
I still love her
She don’t love me.

As the fabric of reality
Slowly comes undone
In these nightmares of society
There's no place left to run

Pitch black winged phantoms  
Filled a furious fiery sky
With howls and horrid raging screams
Screeching down in descending dives
Swooping, snatching every soul
Those unfortunately marked to die

Carrying existence
Spirals spinning swirling
Through suns, stars, fires
Into the smothering coals of our
Deepest darkest deadly desires

No resistance from
The slumbering slaves
Of supernatural heat
The flame of all domains
Dominions of all asleep
Burning drastically on eternally
The gathering entropies
....

Truth is obviously subjective to what you believe
and what you think you know.
Why stop there, are you afraid of descending narratives?
The greatest evil in this world is simply the CIA. (nothing yahoo comes in second) Point at Russia, Point at China, point at Biden or Point at Trump and you’re pointing in the wrong direction.

My love is non-narcotic
I need something stronger
Kinda' like *******
Opiates when I wrong her

My love is but a fire
That burns me at both ends
Her love is high grade fuel
Burning hot with sin

A yawning neon moon
Whispers to a waking earth
The flames of love burn hot
Still entropy is our curse

It takes its sweet time to swell
but my rage is quickly quelled.

I love those stranger
and so I wave,
I greet the world
With smiling face!

I don't chose sides,
I strive for peace...
When it comes to human
I am but a beast.

Listen to all the unrest
What if they all knew
The universe
Is trying to talk us through

You better learn to listen
And expand your beliefs
There’s no rest for the wicked
And
Religions can be a thief

Suffer and slumber
Or wake up and fly
There’s much more
Than flesh on the line!

The blue sky is my canvas
Until the canopy of the night
Then my brushstroke
Become comet tails
An astroid field of flight

No language in my dream
No limits of the tongue
My flights of mindfulness
Has only just begun

The nature of earth
is the balance of power
I’ll never come back
from smelling the flowers!

There's a snow shovel
On my porch
Under a light
As bright as a torch
A place for gathering falling stars
Unfortunately snow
Is all we are
Frozen here for just one kiss
Waiting to melt
In eternal bliss
Yes it's winter
My heart is blue
I need summer
Just like you!

......................

Remember when I met you
You had just begun
Sneaking out your window
Just to give me some

Chasing after sailors
Crystal moon lit bays
Deep within my harbor
My very own mermaid

Flying through my window
Wing a fluttering
I can feel you in my heart
  And taste you in my dreams...

Look no farther then your nose
The devil wears pantyhose’s
An eye that peeps
Out from under the blankets
To face another rainy day

I dreamt of when again
Farther away those memories fade
Hormones overflowing
Passion stained
Fragments of love
Tucked away in
Folds of forgiveness
Drowning in dread
Got to wake up before I’m dead