Humbly I admit
The brilliance of gifts
No matter world view or scars

Open to learn
My heart twists and churns
Experiencing empathy through art
...

These questions throughout ages
Have set our greatest quest
Searching for a path
That continues beyond death
It appears the nature of our soul
Is to bring forth good intentions
To overcome the barriers
Of our mind's misled inventions
These lessons can't be taught
By the words of some great teacher
Or by walking in the steps
Of some over zealous preacher
The experience of the knowing
Is an empirical gather wisdom
Guided by the universe
For those who've learned to listen...

It might sound courageous
Or a bit naive
But I'm not incline
To simply agree
With subjective thoughts
Or allegories
I gather my objections
Empirically

My god is logic
And the goddess of love
No need to bow down
They fit like a glove
A creative heart
And a hungry soul
Are the gifts and curses
Of growing old...

Things I can't remember
And things that never happened
Are stored in the same location
  I forget where...

If I show my emotions
My issues might try to escape
I can't seem to keep up
With her formalities
Normality I have to fake

Kisses to me feel awkward
Please don't touch me while I sleep
Exhausted are my conversations
She just can't seem to go that deep

But there are times
When life come undone
She is there, my voice is gone
And my empty heart
Weighs a ton

I just sat there
Staring out the window
Her words like blowing rain
I close my mind a little tighter
But her words blow through me
Just the same

Trees cushioned in quilts of snow
Life has been frozen before, you know
But in the comfort of our loft
Our sheets are warm
Her covers soft

Seasons change like minds unmade
And snow can fall as deep as pain
Change shall come
In a quickening breath
And spring shall arrive
In the time that's set...

Don't hold out for recess
The daunting pressure builds
Pick up your mettlesome
Impose your loving will!

The target is your nature
Imprinted in your code
An epigenetic explanation
Is about to unfold

So get yourself together
You cyborg by default
Your appendages are contagious
Your inflammation is your fault

Still... we can do much better
Then waiting around to parish...

I feel as if I have a solid understanding.
But I know better.

No one can know god more than anybody else.
Source is limited by names.

As we experience life,
the soul gathers expectations.
Existence is simply an inspiration.
.
We are all in one accord
with what is and what will be.
And now it’s time to change
to a higher frequency..

Living with a forgiving heart has changed my reality.
My wounds heal at an accelerated speed.
A knife in my back does not define me.
I hold my head high and dissolve my dis-ease.
I care not to cast my reflections
nor lose my soul in the pursuit perfection.

In a higher vibration
I resolve my agreement’s
to this madness and rise above!

I'm not talking about me
How could I matter
Against the needs of the many
But you know?
You never really find
The truth you're looking for
And when it's all said and done
The doubt resides
In those obscure places
     Etched in the walls of your brain...

Here and now lies the realm
The comings and goings
Of the mysterious soul

From the agony  
Of a primal birth
Into the ignorance
Of an exciting fleshly role

Speculations manifest
Reason evolves into mysteries
'Til all that's left
Is a superstitious guess
To ease our eternal goal
......

Is it but a mere coincidence
That you recognize my character?
The language of our soul's
We carry forevermore everywhere....
Of course your voice is always there!
Poetry has always been our special affair....

Read you here, there and everywhere
Forevermore!!!!

Perhaps there's a force
Behind these poetic flows
A gathering of life times
All of our personal
   Hell's in toll...
Images
Cave-wall drawling
Books we've may have written
All our experiences
       All our misgivings...    
Here and now
Trapped within!
The subconscious mind
Warps and bends
To be a Poet
A calling within!!!

Eva Ives
Dark sunk eyes
She loves a pretty face
Which dream are you
Sweet lady blue
Her heavy heart
  Beats gay...

Eva Ives
Hidden in lies
The creatures
That she keeps
All shall be told
In the grim tales of old
  The nightmares she let seep...

Into my room
Under a quaint T.V. moon
Her passion pulls me in
Oh Sweet Eva Ives
In the distance of night
  Evil shall rise again ...

In a sudden
Burst of
Synaptic re-uptake
My euphoric
Feelings stall!
Flipping
My switch
Bewilder
Bewitched
‘And so I build
My wall's...

Nagging lies
I close my eyes
And search
My memories
I grasp for love
And drown in grief
Alone I bleed in peace

I read your mind
Your star struck eyes
This crazy man
Is f...king high!
My words they flow
From a worn out soul
Yet it's my goal
To love you
Even tho
You may never
Love me!
..................................

I caught a fleeting glimpse
A spark of the Devine!
Now a repeating pattern of light
Flashes through my rhymes

The forces for good
We follow
Shielded us from the heat
I come to bring a breath of hope
With words that you can breathe!

At the opening of our minds
An emotion of gratitude awaits
Love is the key
To reverse our fatal fates.

And so I write of love every day!

I've argued with delusion
I've argued 'til eye's green
I've wrestled with my fear of hell
While on the winning teams

I carried those delusions
In every measurable way
And so I know that you're not
     Going to like the things I think....

We are all eternal beings
Bound to natural lives
So take yourself a husband
Steal somebodies wife

Find yourself a fortress
A proper gender cave
Never live in fear
Of sickness nor the grave

I arrived at these conclusions
But they can change at anytime
No beginning nor ending and
These patterns aren't confined

Does it bother you
That every one is Divine
Or for some holly reason
Must you have the only line

The keepers have no gates
There's no end to these matters
There's just another maze
At the top of the ladders
...

Can any part of life
be larger than life?
Those who think they know it all
lingers in the basement
of all knowing!

Don’t be a stranger or afraid
in a world you never made
in such a dream setting
existence is trapped
Wake up from your mythic nap
leave your magic in a rhyme
use not science to define
We are all of these things
transcending into a larger thing

Without processing conscious review
It just happens to me and you
everybody and everything grows!

I never believed in demons
Invisible or otherwise
Not the kind straight out of hell
Plaguing humankind

I would never perceive
Superstitiously
What I've seen in human eyes
Where evil dwells
By chance or spell
**** or stay alive

I'm not an atheist, nor theist
The absolute cannot be known
But I've seen such evil, behind eyes
   Everywhere I've roamed...
........

At every paradigm change
All the old problems shall be solved
With solutions plague with new problems
So how can we finally evolve?

Have you ever truly tried
To change your mind
Of all those ways
We're taught to think

Like how to measure human life
On a blueprint of love and hate
All those years of fairy tales
Invisible spirits tied to fate

Have you ever questioned
Your mother's sighs
Or your father's
Heated rage

How could we have navigated
Through the darkness
Of our youth
Freshly developed brains
Washed in vintage child abuse

But here and now
Is where it starts
The evolution of our hearts...

The spiritual ladder is somewhat the same for everyone
"Archaic" beginnings as the spirit takes growth
Into "Magical" beliefs that fill our hearts
With Utopian reprieve

Yet the "Mythical" awaits like a principal in the next room
Wielding the Bible Belt of fundamental values
And if we were truly blessed we reach for
"Rationality" the next rung
On the ladder of spiritual evolution

This is the kicker:
Rationality leads to Agnosticism
And Atheism
But have no fear
For if you truly have the gift
The next rung will soothe your
Wayward soul

"Mysticism"
This is where you will find the masters
The Shamans
And yes, some Saints
Those who are known to live in the higher states
States of Enlightenment
The realization of Oneness
It is locked inside of each and everyone of us
It rears its presence in spiritual spikes
On the lower rung of the
Ladder Of Spiritual Evolution

So in conclusion
Only those of the higher rungs
Are the ones that we can't understand
We are not there yet
Or at least I'm not
Not this time around anyways...

Behind every tree
An eye watches
The hand of doubt
Hesitantly reaches
While quickly pulling back
To many eyes to count

But
You and I
Seek the gleam of
Eye to eye contact
Wide
Open curtains
Exchange of smiles
But we haven’t seen that
No, not in a coronavirus mile!

How they love
A public hanging
The executioners
In the crowd
Poised with their rocks
Like pitchers on the mound

How easily the judgment
That marked a ******'s birth
But this is not a riddle
   Take it for what it's worth...

Exes exist
Taking up space
Try to forget them
Try to erase
Yet sooner or later
There they are
Disfigurements
On the surface
Emotional scars...

And when I hide
It's not from you
It's from beneath
I've been exhumed

Before the sheaves
Were gathered in
I faced the fire
That has no end

And there before
The thrown of lies
I was pulled back
From where I died

To be with you
We've traveled far
Exhumed and now
A burnt out star
...

After exploring
Many alternate routes
With an ambitions to alleviate
All my existential doubts
The questions in the deeper depths
Beyond the endless spans...
I'm afraid it appears
We've all been tricked
Or somehow even ******
To a state of uncertainties
Where we temporally survive
And think the distant darkness
That by some chance we're still alive....

Temporarily permanent
This limited eternity
One way or another
We surely won
Some lottery
A chance
To live
To love
To be
Only death
Can set souls free
Free from the spell
Of this existential dream
...

Dear friends, I miss you all!

I am no longer online to be snagged by lure,
AI no longer has a spell on me.
Deep in nature is where I seek my cures,
off the grid I'm finally free.

.

In deep thought
The fabric of existence is explored
Beyond the quantum darkness
The blind spot of source

A jolt of synapse
And the heart is intrigued
But to search even farther
Is an existential gift...

I searched for what could not be known
Refusing to surrender I walked alone
It comes to light, that which cannot be seen
Below the surface of what we once believed

I fell in love with a cheating heart
Upon a rainy day
I only wished that I could sleep
And make it go away
Jumping off the cliff of chance
Into the great unknown
The depths of knowledge are far beyond
The fabled streets of gold...

Overwhelming devils
Demons of disillusions
Tossed in with regrets
Churning in term oil
Echoes of retribution
Prodding and poking
Stabbing uncertainties
Spasms of unjustness
And here I lay

Rest well my child
Waste no time in beliefs
Global visions of dignity
Wars that suddenly cease

Think not nor contemplate
The moment of our demise
All the things that bother
Old folks in the night

Sleep tight!

Taunted by unseen forces
I am powerless to extremes
Why shall I be forsaken
In my lucid lover’s dream?

In cognitive slumber
I live a life of grief
I play the easy plunder
And await my special thief...

I see our world
Through enlightened eyes
I know my heart is not divine
The paths of love
Tear through the mind...

Chasing her, I dread the voice
That wakes me when I tire
Beckoning me to pace myself
And seek unknown desires...

The trespasses of one’s heart
Are far beyond the soul
Thus ‘tis the larger part
That I may never know

**** these violent black holes
Compressing each and every passing soul
****** through these eternities
By vacuums of unknowns

  On the other side where entropy awaits
There at the eventful horizon
Another big bang
At heaven's new gate

Hope is but a hypothesis
From an obsolete science book
Outdated in spirituality
Humanity is always
On the hook!

"All of us beings"
Believing we're free
Have We?
Could We?
Been tricked or deceived?

We boldly live our lives
And somehow we believe
That we understand the path
Upon this existential sea

But wisdom dictates different  
Nothing can last forever
Especially at this rate
Where nothings getting better
+

Beware
A serious search for truths
Of deeper existential matters
Can change the way you believe and think.

Unfortunately
Most shall never
Reach their roof
In the shadows of facts
And lack of proofs

In the cave that's given
Surrendered to roles
Sheltered in comforted
Feeble to old

Coming back around
To repeat life again
Judging, labeling
Assigning sin
Limiting love
To the circles within

We bind ourselves
By our beliefs
Only a traveling
Mind is truly free
....

In my integral contemplation
all these patterns resemble
the original blueprint

So there for I believe
It’s safe to build upon!

What do you perceive?
Is your god the only
God in existence
And out of eight billion
HUMAN BEINGS
On this mighty planet
You and a mere one and a half billion humans
That follow said deity
Are the only people on this earth that matter?

Those bombs that shook
Their expendable existence
Did you feel it in your heart
The fist of your intolerant god
That tore their worlds apart...

And no please don't perceive this
With your separatist heart intact
Your fairy tales
Have all gone to hell
What more horrors will they hatch...

Cutting through the thickets
Where no path was ever laid
I struggle to fine my footing
The sky has now turn grey

Jagged rocks guide my steps
Through thistles and thorny ******
A familiar force within me dives
Struggling to stay alive

I wrestle with the landscape
Until I reach the clearing
There the maple spread its branches
Falling leaves to soften the ground
And so I sleep another
Thousand years...

What was it
That finally broke my soul?
Perhaps I was suppose to die
Many years ago
I made amends
To set thing right
But it seemed that was just
A wasted flight
Somehow I'm still alive
Suffering as I survive
I have no words
Left to say
No warnings
To convey
Believe as you may
I wasn't suppose to write
These words today
Instead I should be sleeping
In a younger me's grave....

They like to forget
What should be remembered
But they remember
What you would like to forget
The people’s voice
Quite ignorant and uneducated
Their stereotypical ways
Haven’t caught up to them yet

Bigotry will live on
Into the future
Hatred
An incurable cancer
Merciless apathy toward
The aliens and freaks among us
Few ask questions
Even fewer seek an answer...

This too shall pass
Unfortunately
It shall leave a mark...

Struggle for cognizance
Disturbing nightmares
Invisible spirit creatures
Nerves system villains
Soul *******
Karma demons
Evil shadows
Walking darkness
Creeping death
Fight for life
Battle for every last breath
    **** and consume
Attempt to survive

Nothing about  suicide or cutting
Yet very dark!

It's today again and where have I been
Out searching for tomorrow
I'd give up on my quest for gold
But I beg to be spared such sorrow...

What was the price
Of all the life I sacrificed
All the love I compromised
   I am the one who never lied...

Tomorrows run away
From every new day
Living come outside to play
  

Neurotoxins transmit messages in my brain
Depression from which I cannot refrain
Yet somehow I remain quite sane
Out here caught in this pouring rain...

I dreamt about a desire so deep I cried
So beautiful and unattainable yet still I tried
I tried to hold on as long as I could
My words are so often misunderstood...

I look at my wrist, I have no scars
Never felt the need to crash my car
Or burn in hell before my time
Self-mutilation is not my crime...

Yet my moment of satisfaction subjective
Blackened by what I was formed to believe
Unable to meditate, I can only dream
My mind is a vacuum to the extreme...

As I'm looking through your eyes
in an attempt to connect,
I can see your expectations have yet to be met.
Peering through digital lens
the differences are blinding.
In broken sentences definitions
are slowly unwinding.

I wonder if you trust your leaders
or is all the world deceived.
Time is a roller coaster
We're at the top of the big hill
    falling free...

I’m looking at you
with eyes of reason
Please
stop being evil!

In Particles of Mind
And Waves of Consciousness
The tissues of Thoughts are forged

By increasing matter and fact
We secrete the thoughts that lack
Our issues are always at war

No matter particle or wave
These dimensions contain
Emotion will always resist

Life is aware of every breath of air
And the magic of reality is this
...
Our energy will always exist
...

Something or...
Somebody put me here
So I could take his place
Whoever this poet was
I don't recognize my face
I would never write
Such self indulgent words
From the old Traveler
Seems like
That's all we ever heard
No one needs to know
Where I go or...
Where I live
I'm still at the age where
I love to get and give
But who ever put me here
In this old fellas boots
At least you could have left me
With a hint of why or...
Who!