Bang bang bang
Against the cage and the restraints
Aching to be free
To jump beyond the limits
Bang
For no good reason
For bad reason
Do not
Bang bang
I said no
Do not care
Do not jump to action
Bang bang bang
There is no reason
To feel these feelings
Not for some.... Thing
Like this one
Bang bang
Against the cage
Reeling, still feeling
For no good reason

Oh lord you hear my cry
My desperate call to you
When I don't have a way
Or a will to answer
To those in this world

You take my every burden
Casting cares aside
Getting to see the real me
One so few actually see
The barrenness and brokenness inside

Lord please search my heart
My prayer to you today
To pull out what I cannot find
To show me your will, your way
I know not how to ask for your answers

Thank you for your guidance
Though I sometimes cannot see it
I know you're always with me
Your silent hand a comfort
Your arms around my shoulders, close and warm

I cannot take this life, God
Not without you, not alone
I sometimes forget to ask, God
Yet in you, I am strong
I need your peace

Let this be my prayer
Spoken from my heart through my lips
But from a place much higher
Amen

Turn around and feel me here
This rhythmic sense of undue love, unclear
Your hand resting in mine a simple sign
Yet your love, one so divine
Is more confusing than the heart of thine

An uncertain wave of strange perfume
And laughter from the other room
It sparks my mind through leaps and bounds
Remembering the time I found… you
A time only we shared

Does it sit in your mind like mine?
A weight beyond the reach of time
Yet lofty in the sense of grace
The way it sets a lighter pace
This love within my reach, without my grasp

So I come to the first thought,
Emotion you have not sought
Found here in the dynamic ebb and flow
A love given, and taken slow
We will find our way out

Snippets of conversations drifting through the wind can sometimes be cause for a deeper introspective search than one has ever taken before.

Just this morning in passing I heard a boy say "I just love writing, it's my passion", and I stopped and thought to myself quietly "what's my passion?"

...

This simple expression by a total stranger sparked a train of thought in my mind leading me down tunnels in to the very depths of my unprepared brain.

Searching for a passion

Much like the passer-by I tend to enjoy the written word.
I relish sentences,
composition,
vocabulary choice,
anything that can present ideas in a sophisticated written sense.

On the contrary, sometimes writing feels like having my eyes slowly clawed out of my head and consumed by a larger-than-life, incredible beast.

*Could such an act be my passion if only to grate on my nerves and cause me to tear out my hair when it does not occur according to my plans?

Take my hand I'll understand
The way your heart beats still
Reaching out I'm taking count
My love belongs to you
And I know
It's hard sometimes to realize
The pain this fall can bring
But I'll keep moving back to you
And winter turns to spring

I try not to remember
But my eyes are constantly drawn
To the photos.
Genuine smiles
A time of pure, innocent happiness
Now fostering a new feeling-
A sadness so addictive
I cannot look away

I can see the sparkle in your eyes
In each moment from the past
And I fear that sparkle
Will never be mine again.
I fear it may belong to another,
Or the freedom we felt
Will be surpassed by the freedom
Of yourself

I cannot look away
It’s an addictive sadness

I suppose this is what it has become
At a crossroads, stretching to eternity
I went left, you went right
Bound for the mountains, bound for the sea
Yet I keep glancing
Over my shoulder
To the sunset in the east
Hoping to see your silhouette
Maybe looking back at me.

Encounters with others form the path,
Trail markers along my way,
As I climb ever forwards towards
Such a brand new uncertainty.
This unknown I never knew
Now presents itself clearly,
Yet somehow I’m not ready to approach it.

And so I’ll take my time,
Ambling slowly toward the ridges.
Perhaps when I get there I’ll feel you.
See you from above,
See you come running back,
Or at least see you happy-
Running to the sea.