but then
my sudden fantasies are myths
in horror and in blink of a mare
knowing one day I'll wake up
and it's real
that you will leave me
to love somebody else

as early as now
I'm mending this heartbreak
with a silent wish at heart
that you might stay
that forever do exist
in this lifetime
and that you will love me real
till our time fades

Yesterday, I saw her stroll
with that melancholy
she masked with gold
Outcasted. That's what she thought
it's what she blames for being choked
Unconsciously she bolted fast
to the secret house where no pain lasts.

if the last thing
these eyes will see
is you,
my darling

it will be
enough for me

this, my world
swarmed in happy
because you,
made it real

I fall in love with old souls
when I'm just a dead soul
they accept my sorrows
and I brought them loathe
forgive me dearest
for I turned into hurt
while looking at loving
as the holy of all that bursts

I looked thru meadows
I saw the end of me
and i heard the wind blows
of holy matrimony
for hope was wicked
but I accepted it with glee
for love is thickest
when I am on my knees
Starlight, believe me
my thorny heart is free
and I give it all for you
please angel, dream of me.

Physical pain
I have forgotten
how it felt
to wince
and cry
to want it to stop

Physical pain
a mere dot
when I have gone through
a pain for heart
bullet through mind
burned soul
yet alive

Physical pain
do you hear me?
when I beg for help
to feel
for tears
and blood

Physical pain
are you deaf?
or am I,
am I the one
who don't listen
you were there
yet I,
I did not care

Help me
,
somehow
it feels like
,
Poetry
,
has abandoned
my soul.

This is a purple moment
With the sky bare-skinned white
Once was a boy with the straw hat
His story be told aloud,

One upon in a day-end
Decided to sit and watched
The sunset in a purple up-ground
In the cliff by the immense pond
It stretched into wonders
The distance by the miles
His eyes failed to hold it closer
"When I grow, I'll see beyond"
And he did became a little older
I assumed, he would further watch

What did I expect? He is only human
And this world has different lights
Now he sees the darker version
That the pond now matters not
For he won't look beyond the sunset
And not to the promise land
The boy now wanted freedom
So he sailed, never came back.

The rain always tells me a sad story
but it's my favorite of them all
about a kid that cried inside the womb
of the mother's hug of warmth
of a friend that tried to be better
but the world had proved them wrong
telling me that I'd soon be okay
with a sad smile that broke
with the quivering voice of a thunder
as the waves drowned me in storms.

I have heard the better word
that defined
my lack of pride
beyond the line
I've drawn upon
to elevate the livid lies
that I was braver,
when I was not

And they pointed
at the arrow sign
To my neverland
'far fetched' above
my knees gave out
and I succumbed
to the scrutiny
of many eyes

Seaweeds tied my two feet into the bark of ocean tree
Looked up to see my shuttle-ship turned to skeletal remains
with rainbow fishes within

And in my right a troupe of turtles  
murmuring with sea water hymns
And I heard the odd looking mermaids
as they recite my lousy poems of grief

This is a tale but I am not a fairy, not a princess nor a lady
When in reality I cannot swim
And the sands by the oceans are made of rough gravel seeds
I have ****** scratches all over as I watched a sunset--no sun in it

Out of all my shortcomings
I have in me a bruised distorted  "geest"
And it coloured the gravels white, purple to the sunless sky
My feet imagined its wings
and I'm in this dreamless deep brine

She is. I want her
my lovely lullaby
that her smile was that of a flower
when the mist of cold arise
frozen yet in contact
with the coolness and the warmth

Her. I'd want her
even when I come to be blind
bound in too much brightness
like the rays beyond the sun
she will be the shadow
I'll see through the light

My woman. I need her
that the clocks will tick forever
when we have limited time
still, I'll be waiting in some ways
in the future
she be mine

I made
for you
this puppet
To follow me
through
When it starts
to wish
for new life
Cut it's sew
Then re-establish
my powers
And create some new

You have degraded, I was told
I hadn't a chance to stop my thinking
on why it sounded odd
because I write like imaginary
objects I coloured with mud
and nobody understands my writing
no one wanted to read my rhymes
so I tried my best to settle
to simplify my lines
now I am negated for degrading
shouldn't I be given a bit
just a little bit of compassion
for the small me to believe
I only tried to make people
to emphathize my pain

She is a smoker
no matter how people told her
to stop and breathe for life
She still smokes
oh! dear god
help the poor girl
heal her heart

A joint of bad memories
lit with fire from her eyes
she inhales the regrets
and intakes the hatred
she smoked and smoked
until she herself
she became hate

I'm in a swinging chair thinking
of the path I have taken
the guilt that never visited
and the wish to feel greed
I am here singing, the silence I had within
then the wind started humming
of another rhythmic gem
it tells me "hello, I am missing you"
slowly. painted the smile I'm lacking

Finally, everything is ending
finally, I don't think of dying
there are three kinds of treetops
I've been eager to climb
now it's all down to one
because the wind started humming
of another melody
it tells me "hello, you made it through"
"I am proud of you."

I held my sorrows low,
now I'm tearing up the snow
the cold voice I have totted
have now relieved my pain
of the duty of darkness
that I will never forget
when she visits me again
it's a friend in homecoming

Till we meet again
my darkest dreams.

Let me stare at you, Beautiful
In my head will play this song
About the bluebird by the window
And the calm beneath the storm
Is it okay that I do not speak?
That I go silent, a moment quick
If you knew, you might resent me
Down my eyes will lowly yield

I am staring at you, Sweetness
Someday I'd apologize for it, knowing
That the red in your sweatshirt
Is the color of your pain
And yet I see you in darkness
Like the Miss in summer rain
That you delusion of many crowds
Yet no one, catches your gaze

I liked to stare at you, Lady
Even if my vision's stained
And I know the conseqcuences
So, I try to be in veil
I also know that in your daydream
You are someone might and great
And you are, yes you are
But when you face me, then you look
Why is your eyes in hidden throe?

Stabilize me
they think I'm going crazy

Who?
the people
who are they

The shadows in the light
you'll see them spark alight
and they whisper
Oh they do
in many crowds of one

Hahahahahaha
Stabilize me
my mind is way beyond

I woke up this evening
showered with guilt

I found my body in covers
seven layers of faith
My soul is made up of dust
from destruct of past mistakes
I have a heart made of stitches
threads of melancholic fate

I am not real
the image you saw was projection
the sound you hear is wind
my brain that gave you comfort
is degrading, a ceasing clay

I wanted to be a star dust
to fly above the ground
and to be part of an afternoon sunlight
I will keep a human warm

But I am not real
And I will stay in this forever
even if it don't exist
because in this soulless shell of a body
I can hold you, ghostly friend

Dust, let me be the dust.

I am the moon lover
and the rain is my mistress
When they see me together
I am the king of chains

Now is the seventh
The day for simple hugs
simple laughs, tears, confessions
the day for simple love

The day I thought it was over
I collided with blue-red lights
fear and happiness ****** me in
but I had you in my arms

Do you think about the seventh?
when I am forgotten
and you go far
I'll be the stardust for the nights

Maybe people will think pretty
for me you are the gem
even if everyone thinks me badly
you will always stay my gem

Show me love in this seventh
the day I found the one
when the closeness became romance
when I kissed my love goodnight.

A great artist once told me
what is fluid, is poetry
it can be a shapeshifter
or a solid rock
has everchanging colors
or  just black and white
some tasted like honey
some, bourbon on the rocks
to tell a romantic story
to make the tragedy of love
does not dictate!
does not obsess,
it will not tell you what to be
it is of freedom
it is of fate
that some poets unlived
not due to death,
but due to faith,
the most chivalrous
-are here.

drooped down eyes
****** tears

warmth of sweaters
two or three

but you see,
this look is real

too tired and done
to even leave

dadum dadum

The rain has fallen down
these pebbles sang
their lost kids ran
the rain has fallen down

My kitty cat
slept on the rug
and listened as
the rain kept falling down

it brought me back
to memories
when rain and I
was one

and we would miss
the last retreat
into the clouds
of misbelief

but we would laugh
and play it out
sing this song
of raining, falling down

and in the end
another friend
sit alight
joins our partying

the rain would stop
it will shine
with colors
that are bright

and we then sang
another song
the rainbow is here
all along

Sometimes
just sometimes
I get a little crazy
I'd haha with laughter
then scream tears
when they mock me

but no, it is a spring leaf
when the summer is at bloom
a snowflake in winter
when it is still June

not normal
but pretty
like my love for the moon
not normal
but cherished
like mon chèri
the dawn

they don't know
my people, them
inside my head
my insane is not vain
their normal is in flames

HaHa HaHa
let the melody
begin.